Puddle Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 My ex treated me horribly while we were together. His brother John and I always were, and are, friends. It has been almost a year since the break up. I noticed the brother has been calling and texting me more, and hanging out with me, staying at my house watching movies with me til 3am. Never hitting on me or getting close or flirting. Just lots of contact. Til last week-the good old tickling match, which led to more. I don't know if either of us was expecting anything to happen but it didn't feel awkward at all. It has been very, very hard for me to get over my ex even though he treated me badly. I've dated several guys since him but none of them could ever quite make me forget him for more than a little while, until his brother and I kicked it up a notch. Now I hardly think about my ex at all. It used to hurt me to see his brother because they look similar and laugh the same, dress the same, etc. But now I just don't think about it, my brain finally assigned him his own separate identity. So here's the problem: John and I are really into each other but there are obvious repercussions of dating your ex's sibling. He hates lying to his family about where he is when he's with me. He says he knows his brother did love me despite how he treated me, and will never forgive him for this if he finds out. He doesn't think his family will understand. On top of that, the girl my ex cheated on me with the whole time has now been introduced to the family so family gatherings would be awkward with both of us there. John wants a girlfriend he can bring home and have with him there, and at family events. Not someone he has to hide. This is the first guy since my ex who is so nice and special to me that I was able to stop thinking about my ex and move on. John, unlike his brother, really cares about me on every level. This is definitely more of an obstacle for him than it is for me since it's his family who might have a problem with it. A couple days ago he told me we should probably just be friends because of the above reasons. The next day we spent together, as if we hadn't had that conversation at all. One look,one hug was all it took. I just can't believe I might have to give him up because he was too shy to hit on me first and I stupidly dated his jerk brother first! I want him near me all the time now and I hate the thought of giving him up. It's so lame to have to keep this on the down low when we're both single! I have no idea how to make him see that I'm worth the trouble he's going to have to go through, except to tell him that his brother has always gotten away with being an alcoholic and treating girls like crap, without any repercussions. What about John's happiness? Is there anything I can tell him to convince him we should be together despite the consequences??
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