dimsteps Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 How are you feeling now? I was dumped roughly around the start of June. Right away I went into a weird mix of "**** her I'm better than her", bawling my eyes out in bed, and working out like crazy. I thought I was moving on that first month, but really I was expecting we'd get back together. July was more of the same, though I broke NC and it was horrible so I became a little more depressed. I was getting really good results at the gym and I started to read a lot more and was having a good time meeting new people. August rolls around and I pretty much work the month away. I got full time hours so I spent more and more time at work, working on my music, getting to the gym when possible, and reading when possible. Barely went out at all, though. So my confidence has started to sink. Now? I kind of feel like I'm in this weird sci-fi movie or something. I feel like I've been taken away from the real world and put on another planet and forced to start a new life. Most of my friends have moved away or I don't want to associate myselves with them as much (hard drug habits/lifestyle choices) so I spend a lot of time alone, thinking about how I can go about meeting new people. Though I'm in much better shape physically, my confidence fluctuates a lot. I'm A LOT more self-conscious and sometimes get nervous when talking to people to the point where I'll stutter on a word for a second or two. I've developed this AWFUL habit of checking her myspace to see what she's up to. It's gonna kill me when she starts to date again if I don't stop that. Part of me still misses her, parts of me are angry. Other parts are completely indifferent. I was very geared up towards moving on but these days I feel kind of depressed. I was so amped up for all of these new goals, and I'm still very close to reaching a lot of them (already reached a bunch of them), but I'm lonely as hell. I have no real friends to go out with. I'm awful at talking to women at random, etc. I just feel strange and like I can't relate to anybody or care about anything sometimes. How are you guys doing, though? Better than me I expect. I hope this is just a rut, though...
EpicPanda Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I recently broke up with my gf. I'm feeling very depressed but also glad that it's all over. That I can now stand up for myself, meet more people in a couple weeks (going to college) and become stronger. Try meeting up with people at the gym or talking with old friends who you seem to have lost contact with. It helped me out a bit and will probably help you too. I'm still in love with my ex-gf though, not much i can do but stay friends. Hopefully she won't seriously date anyone soon or else it'll be even harder. I'm also working on avoiding her facebook because it'll also kill me if i see she found someone already. Keep your head up high, you'll make it.
GrayClouds Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 How are you feeling now? I was dumped roughly around the start of June. Right away I went into a weird mix of "**** her I'm better than her", bawling my eyes out in bed, and working out like crazy. I thought I was moving on that first month, but really I was expecting we'd get back together. July was more of the same, though I broke NC and it was horrible so I became a little more depressed. I was getting really good results at the gym and I started to read a lot more and was having a good time meeting new people. August rolls around and I pretty much work the month away. I got full time hours so I spent more and more time at work, working on my music, getting to the gym when possible, and reading when possible. Barely went out at all, though. So my confidence has started to sink. Now? I kind of feel like I'm in this weird sci-fi movie or something. I feel like I've been taken away from the real world and put on another planet and forced to start a new life. Most of my friends have moved away or I don't want to associate myselves with them as much (hard drug habits/lifestyle choices) so I spend a lot of time alone, thinking about how I can go about meeting new people. Though I'm in much better shape physically, my confidence fluctuates a lot. I'm A LOT more self-conscious and sometimes get nervous when talking to people to the point where I'll stutter on a word for a second or two. I've developed this AWFUL habit of checking her myspace to see what she's up to. It's gonna kill me when she starts to date again if I don't stop that. Part of me still misses her, parts of me are angry. Other parts are completely indifferent. I was very geared up towards moving on but these days I feel kind of depressed. I was so amped up for all of these new goals, and I'm still very close to reaching a lot of them (already reached a bunch of them), but I'm lonely as hell. I have no real friends to go out with. I'm awful at talking to women at random, etc. I just feel strange and like I can't relate to anybody or care about anything sometimes. How are you guys doing, though? Better than me I expect. I hope this is just a rut, though... I was July. 3 weeks madness,2 weeks ok, 2 weeks pretty good, then a week and a half back down to this side of madness. It is what it is. So dont be hard on yourself. Not only are you getting over a break up, your making some big life changes and good ones at that. New work schedule, working out, separating yourself from not so good friends, trying to make better ones. Though these are changes none the less and even good ones puts you off balance. Doing all this at once is going to test you and your confidence. Take your time, be kind to yourself, your moving forward. One thing delete the myspace action, its getting in the way of healing. NC means NC that includes myspace and facebook. Why pick at the scab?
bluesky123 Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I was dumped at the end of May, I too was down for about 3 weeks. I started to go to the gym, working and going out. Now that summer has ended alot of my firends have gone away to school. I've made excellent gains at the gym, progressed at my job but I feel very sad and lonely. My ex should be back in town ( she leaves for the summer). I want to break NC (3months) but I cant. I love herso much that I have to respect what she wanted. I guess she wont be calling me. I'm always checking around me in case I bump into her ! I hope it gets better.
fabulous_chk Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I got dumped March 16, 2009. He cheated on me. I just basically went out, dated, partied until last week. In 6 days it will be 6 months of break-up. How am I feeling? Peaceful. My ex and I are friends. I have a new guy. Everything is fine now. Don't lose hope you'll get there. Just don't wallow at home. Spend time outside, surrounded by positive people, all the time.
Exit Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I got dumped in April. Thought for sure she would come back. I've been all over the place, some days completely recovered, some days freaking out that I'm going to lose her forever, sometimes contacting her, sometimes going NC. It's been mentally exhausting and I hope I decide to just give up pretty soon. I've been working out a lot too and that's the one bright spot in my life. I need to crank up the discipline in my diet because I've been using food for comfort. If I can get my diet under control I think I could be in really good shape by spring time. I've wanted to have a muscular build for years and it's about time I get serious about getting it. I've really overcome a lot of my shyness and tendency to stay at home all the time. I go out almost every day if possible. I lost my girlfriend but regained about 4 good friends who I had been ignoring during my relationship. I'm starting to think it was a fair trade. This has definitely been the craziest thing I have ever been through. I am verrrry slowly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, starting to believe that I will meet someone new, starting to see the things I will accomplish if I stay motivated.
bluewolf17 Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I broke up with my ex in Feb. Though I did the dumping, I acted like the dumpee. I was a sad lady for a few months. MUCH MUCH better now. Better than before I met him-across the board. Everyone has their own time table of recovery and healing. Everyone gets there.
joseffrost Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 She left me on June 12, a month to the day after we spent our two-year anniversary together and had a great time. For the first 6 weeks I was a complete mess - not eating, not sleeping and talking about nothing else but her every time I went out or met someone new. Once I realised that I wouldn't be invited to her graduation or on a holiday with her family booked months previously, it kinda drew a line under everything. She stopped being the first thing I thought of when I woke up and I managed to get on with my life for 6 weeks or so. Then, on Monday of this week, she contacted me online - again, just a chat, didn't talk about 'us', but it put me right back into wanting to call her and for the last few days I've regressed in a bad way. I guess NC really is the way forward. Maybe next time she talks to me she'll be begging for me to come back, maybe she'll be telling me about her new guy. I don't know, and right now, I don't care.
adamt Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Was dumped end of may. It was a total shock. I couldnt understand how she could go from wanting to buy a house together to wanting to quit. My head was all over the place for first 2 weeks. I kept breaking down at work. the month after the break up seems a blur. i was in a right state. totally depresses and unmotivated. My life had been turned upside down. I couldnt talk about her without breaking down. Couldn't concentrate at work. I thought she would come back once she realised her mistake. Since then i have not heard a word from her. How can someone so close to you be so cold and distant. She felt like a stranger. Did i really know her aswell as i thoguht?After 2 weeks of being depressed at home, i decided to join the gym. That helped a lot and now i am 14lbs lighter and getting toned and fitter. I spend the summer visiting all my friends around the country, probably boring them talking about my ex. But i took on board all the advice and decided to give her space and not contact her. for a month i didnt eat. For 2 months i could not sleep until 2am and woke up at 5:30am i then started to reflect on the relationship, and noticed warning signs in the last 6 months of the relationship. I noticed that our communication was poor. I realised i could have done things different. I realised the ex had changed a lot in the months leading up to the break up. So maybe i couldnt have done anythign anyway. I could see she was pushing me out of the relationship. We got on so well but by the end she said we had very little in common. I just didnt understand that. We had grown apart with so much going on in our lifes and we ended up disconnecting. I am in a lot better state now, keeping myself busy. I am generally ok apart from sundays when i have spare time and more time to think about things. I've tried to go to bars but find that depressing. Worried that at my age(38) my opportunities are limited to meet someone. Considering going on dating websites but it feels a big step. I do miss her terribly at times, the times when i am going to places we used to. Or sat at home chilling out or thinking about the holidays and trips we used to do. SOmeone to share my experiences with. I want to meet someone else but it feels daunting going out there finding someone who matches up with the ex. I feel lonely at times. I have moments where suddenly i get that depressed feeling and butterflies in the stomach. I then just want to sit at home on my own. It still feels something is missing in my life, i feel a bit restless and unsettled at times. I don't know where i want to settle with all the plans out of the window Will we get back together? I doubt it. but i won't give up hope even though i am trying to move on. Maybe i will bump into my ex and we have a nice chat and start to reconnect. I feel i am in a better place and a clearer head and able to talk to my ex about what went wrong. Problem will be she wil lhave moved on. Maybe i will only give up hope completely when someone else comes into my life. At least when you are dumped begining of the summer you have nice weather to get outside and be active. I feel for those people who get dumped in winter months or just before xmas.
dianna Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 7 july was the worst day ever.I will remember this summer 'till I die.Im feeling like you, I feel that I don't belong in this world..just great .July sucked the most ( crying, going insane , losing weight ) , August so and so but stil crying , losing weight,feeling sorry for myself , mixed feeling and September ..well let's just say that its getting a little better.. A LITTLE. Im still crying but at least im eating. Sleeping is still a problem.
Nynnja Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Mine was in April. Not far from my birthday, on top of that. The first bit of the summer was o.k., I was working full time and we still talked alot because at the time she made me believe it was basically just a "break" and she only wanted to be with me, we just couldn't at the time. Then her story kept changing, she would never give a logical reason to why we couldn't be together and everytime I had an idea that we could make it work, she would get mad and not talk to me for a day or two. So around June is when the depression hit me hardest, I did everything that everyone has said you shouldn't do (calling/messaging her constantly, begging, apologizing, etc.) to the point of her not wanting to contact me at all and getting a new guy (which i'm assuming was just a "rebound" since they only lasted 2 months at the longest) Still not completely over her (love is a bitch, right?), but as long as I don't message her and she doesn't message me, i'm pretty darn happy.
jv032889 Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 The beginning of April I heard the news. She was moving out and not looking back. I cried, begged her to stay, accused her of being with her ex. A week after we broke up I betrayed her. We tried to work things out but she no longer trusted me. We decided to stop "pretending we were together" in August. Since then She wrote me numerous emails telling me she loved me and cared about me but she can't be with me. Till this day she still tells me I'm selfish and money hunger that's the reason why we are apart. I've met 3 new friends who help me get my mind off things. I stay pretty busy with school, work, and friends. Last night I had numerous dreams of her and I. I just found out she is talking to this new girl. I don't know how I feel anymore. I'm sad, happy, postive, and lonely at times. A mixture of emotions. I'm the one who screwed the relationship up. Its so hard to deal with. I just tell myself it wasn't meant to be. I have so many unanswered questions. Why do we work at the same place? Why does she and my sister live together? Why am I suffering so much? I have to see her face atleast 3-4 times a week. How am I suppose to move on if I always hear abour her and her adventures with her g/fs!? Its so difficult to grasp!!!! On the positive side- Hopefully I'll be stronger after all the feelings subside. I learned alot about myself. I'm no longer that innocent, shy, insecure girl I was when I met her. I've grown as a person. I survived my first heartbreak. I'm motivated to do the best I can for myself. I will be a successful women! She will regret not giving me another chance...
silic0ntoad Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I guess the song Tuesday's Gone in the Wind by Lynyrd Skynyrd would voice best how I feel. I was ditched right at the beginning of June. How do I feel? It's a mystery. I've met and hooked up with a few girls. Some are awesome people. The problem- I am not ready or willing to give myself to anyone yet, so thanks to the break up, I am again hampered. It's kosher, there will be others. I am trying to find my old self, the me that would beat the sh*t out of me for feeling like I do now if he met me. I guess that's all we can do, us, the bitter, the heart broken.
Nynnja Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I am trying to find my old self, the me that would beat the sh*t out of me for feeling like I do now if he met me. This is the best thing i've seen today. Edit: Hope you don't mind, "ninja'd" it for my signature
Odyssey Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Ditched at the start of April. Accidentally, met up with ex about 3 weeks ago... ...How do i feel? I miss her like something fierce, and bitter at the way she treated me. But i'm better than the sorry mess that was me in April. I don't have much choice but to move on.
silic0ntoad Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 This is the best thing i've seen today. Edit: Hope you don't mind, "ninja'd" it for my signature Feel free. I am honored
angelface78 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 We broke up at the end of June. July was my bday and was hell but i had hope. At the beginning of August i was a mess cause i found out he was with someone else. Now Septemeber 3 months of NC and i almost broke it yesterday. He wrote to a guy im talking to on his myspace lying that i still call him... so i know he is not over me. I almost emailed him after finding this out. Everyone here on Ls stopped me. Im struggling but a lil better than before. Its a crazy rollercoaster ;(
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