EpicPanda Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I recently broke up with my gf of 2 and a half years. I love her and still love her, she was my first real gf. She left for college in LA 2 weeks ago and promised to stay together and etc since i'm moving to a college a half hour away. A few days ago before we broke up, she told me she kissed a guy she met. I was devastated but didn't want to let her go, i made her promise to not do it again and to wait until i got down there to figure it all out. She agreed and basically cried out how sorry she was and how much she regretted it. Then a day or so later, she told me she kissed the guy again and we were over. done. That it was her best 2 and a half years, but she needs to be free now. I was destroyed, i didn't know what to do and i collapsed. I'm still friends with her but each time i talk i can't stop myself from hurting. I've talked to a few friends and tell myself that it's not worth it every day. I still love and care for her, but i wouldn't date her for a long time. I'm wondering what to do, I've been reading around on the forums and decided to stop or slow down contact with her. She tells me she loves me and cares about me a lot, but that this breakup is the best. I guess it is for the best, but i don't know what to do right now. I'm moving into college in about a week and i'm hoping that it will change my mood and i'd be able to recover. I was hoping one of you guys could tell me a good way to try to forgive and forget.
soheartbroken Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 There is no way to forget. Time will dull the memories, and starting college will speed up the process. I don't usually tell people that they must go No Contact, because that is something people must figure out for themselves (usually it gets to the point that it hurts so much they finally stop, or the dumper forces the NC). In your case, I think once you start getting involved with College you'll just naturally fall into No Contact.
Author EpicPanda Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 thanks for the tips, i'm looking forward to college and speeding up this process.
dimsteps Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Honestly, she did you a favor. She doesn't sound like a good person to be with if all it took was two weeks down at the college dorms to get her to put out in any capacity. Those are the kinds of girls you hook up with, not the kind you want to date. I feel your pain, though, man. At least she was honest about it. You? You need to restore your dignity and stop talking to her for a while. Completely cut off contact for at least a month (I would say more, but a month is a good goal). Don't respond to her calls, etc. Being friends with her while she's with another guy is going to kill you. This is very recent, you need time to think clearly about what is going on. You were just with her within weeks ago and she's already hooking up with somebody else. That's not friend material, man. In the meantime, focus on yourself. Concentrate on the things you do best and work on becoming better at them. Set goals for yourself and work hard to reach them. Most importantly, though, is stay social. You'll need time alone from time to time, but sometimes you gotta force yourself to go out with friends. Talk to people about what happened and don't internalize things. Take risks, have fun. You're young. Moving into college is going to make your breakup process a hell of a lot easier than most of us here.
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