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i just need to talk. new year of college, and im stressed -.-

jumi

By jumi
in Long-Distance Relationships

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jumi Established Member

jumi

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Hi everyone,

I just have a huge urge to post my thoughts on here, its like therapy to me i guess :o

 

My 2nd year at college just started this week and I began to feel the stress I did last year when my relationship first became LD. It's not as bad as it was, and I'm determined not to let myself degenerate like I did then. But anyway, the situation is different this time since he is gone for 10 solid weeks instead of how I usually visited him every weekend.

 

Anyway... well nearly 5 weeks gone, so halfway thru, and I've been keeping my spirits up. But its starting to get harder now. I don't always get the security I need after each conversation with him online (not his fault). I hate feeling that way, I want to be happy and cheerful for him and just let us both have a good time, but sometimes during the conversation I worry so much about our connectivity that I bring myself down and I feel so depressed I feel like I have no energy to even break a smile. Sometimes I can pull myself out of it, it takes a lot of strength tho. I am careful not to bring him down though, I know he worries when I'm like that and I dont want to give him any mental burden.

 

I don't really know what is wrong. I think that I am just beginning to feel the weight of these 10 weeks coming down on me. I hate how being with him online doesn't feel like it does to be with him in person; it's such a different feeling and connection when we are together. I know 10 weeks is pretty pathetic to some of you out there but this is beyond what I've experienced. I realize this post was a bunch of rambling, so thank you to those who made it this far :rolleyes:

Ingenue Established Member

Ingenue

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Jumi *hugs*. I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious over everything. When I was freaking out in my thread, you gave me some really grounded advice that I wanted to remind you of.

 

dont think you're abnormal for feeling anxious! actually, if you really had zero worries over this, i'd question how committed you were to this guy. It just means that you care about him and your relationship. what is the root of your anxiety... afraid of what will happen to your relationship, afraid for him or yourself... many reasons, all valid and understandable. just dont let it consume you. have trust in your love.

 

 

You're a veteran LDer compared to me as I'm only in my first week of being in an LD relationship, but if I've learned anything, it's to try to see the positive. Five weeks is going to fly by so quickly especially now because the school year is starting for you. I think more than anything, you've got a number of stress factors that you're simultaneously dealing with. Between being in a new college year and adjusting to the new work load, new courses and new friends, you're also struggling with the LD boyfriend. I think you're holding up remarkably well and you're entitled to a freak out every now and again. Just remember that your bf is not permanently away from you and that the feeling you're experience is temporary.

carvidep Established Member

carvidep

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aww girlie, I know that feeling all too well haha. I go up and down a lot, and today happens to be one of those down days, even though he sent me a package yesterday. I printed off some documents and used that as an excuse to wait for him to sign on around the normal time, but he came home just in time to go to bed, so didn't really get to have much of a conversation with him. It's crazy how something so small is magnified with the distance.

 

Anyway, that was an excuse for me to rant haha. As for you, I agree with Ingenue that your own advice is absolutely perfect. My only recommendation is to get out and do things. You've only been there for a week, so I'm sure things haven't picked up a whole lot yet, but they will, and if you keep yourself occupied with things that you enjoy, you should find yourself having more up days than down days. I'm sure you already know all of that, I'm just procrastinating on homework right now haha.

 

But down days are healthy. They suck @$$. and a lot of it. This just means we're human. ;)

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jumi Established Member

jumi

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thank you both of you *hug*

one major thing that keeps me together is the memory of how amazing it is to be with him in person, and that i can't expect to feel as close to him online as i do in person, or when i see him weekly. good thing is i'm not worried about how much he loves me or anything like that; it's really about missing him to a depressing point and im just so.... tired.

 

its wierd... i can be having a good day but if our conversation doesnt "feel right" online, my day completely turns around. college is going pretty well, i have a few chill friends and my classes keep me occupied mostly. not that it isnt stressful :rolleyes:. but you know, everytime we don't have a magical conversation i can't always be complaining/freaking out on him, who wouldn't grow weary of that? he's always been my rock, and in return i want to make him laugh and be happy; i need to build up my strength.

 

right, when im down i need to realize that i can't expect this to be easy, and cant shut down when it's difficult. if only i could sleep for 5 weeks... :o

alexandra_28 New Member

alexandra_28

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take it from someone who's been with her guy for 8 years, and LDR for almost 4. It's really the first few weeks or months that are the hardest. And its true that its different when you're with him and when you're talking online, but its the next best thing right? The most important thing is that you guys keep the lines of communication open.

 

*HUG* it also helps when you think of it as just a long "vacation" :) coz eventually, you guys will be together again.

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jumi Established Member

jumi

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take it from someone who's been with her guy for 8 years, and LDR for almost 4. It's really the first few weeks or months that are the hardest. And its true that its different when you're with him and when you're talking online, but its the next best thing right? The most important thing is that you guys keep the lines of communication open.

 

*HUG* it also helps when you think of it as just a long "vacation" :) coz eventually, you guys will be together again.

 

welcome to the forum :)

honestly i cant even believe 5 weeks has gone by :eek: im hoping that at this point its over the hill so to speak.

*hug*

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