lammie Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I've met a wonderful guy off an online dating site. We've been seeing each other for three weeks now, 5 dates. We clicked instantly, there's chemistry, we've already became very comfortable with each other. We are definitely those cuddly PDA couples which i used to hate so much. It's all going well, a bit fast frankly. We've talked about taking it slowly since we're both recovering from an intense relationship (both 4 months on). We've had our "exes talk" but without going into it intensely, and I've made clear my morals and value on sex, where most men in the past were only after that with me. He said he's glad to have all this talk before, not after sex. He's assured me that he's not looking for flings, he's looking for something more than that. So much for taking it slow, things happened, we slept together the last 2 dates. Sex was definitely hot. I thought it was too soon. I really wanted to wait but sometimes things just happened. I tried not to blame myself for not holding out. I also didn't want to think he's one of players neither. He has told me that he has once lost interest in a girl after they've slept together. But have noticed that he hasn't text as much, not as cuddly, and didn't hold my hands much since we've started sleeping together. Okay, the last time i saw him he was pre-occupied with this big presentation he has to give on Monday. I know it's my insecurities that is making me paranoid about this. Anyway, I'm trying my best not to read into it much. We haven't talked about the issue of exclusivity, I know he checks the site everyday, so have i. But i don't think he's seen others from the site since he's met me. I've met one other since. I'm just as happy to see him exclusively but part of me feels since we haven't that talk, i'm entitled to see others and that he's probably doing the same? How long should I wait before bringing up the exclusivity issue? A month? 2 months? I don't want to freak him out or should I wait for him to bring up?
Scarlett513 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I think since you're sleeping with him you have a right to ask him if he's sleeping with others...since it may affect your sexual health. Other than that I would try to slow it down, which, trust me, I know is so much harder after you've slept with them. As far as exclusivity goes, I think it might be ok to casually ask if he's dating anyone else, but not to dive into the exclusivity talk after 3 weeks. Best of luck!
torranceshipman Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 You need to talk to him straight away, not wait a month! A R should make you happy and if something is bothering you, talk it out. It sounds to me like he could be a bit of a player...and if that is the case you could have waited 20 dates to sleep with him and he'd STILL have withdrawn after sleeping together. I also think its disrespectful of him to check his page every single day while he's sleeping with you! I think you need to bring this up quick and if you don't like the answer you get, then move on so you can find a guy who will really treat you well, value you, and who is ready for a R.
Author lammie Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 I check my page everyday too, though i don't check on weekends. I haven't been much interested in the site nor talking to others since I've met him. Though I have meet one other guy during, and has already agreed to meet another next week. I think above is right, if he's a player, even i waited 100 dates to sleep with him, he's still withdrawn then... at least i know and get out. We're suppose to see each other at some point this week again. He asked me to see a movie tomorrow but I told him I was busy, suggest Fri or Sun instead. Hopefully he's not pre-occupied with work again and see how we get on?
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