Benjsuth Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I have been seeing a woman for two months who it getting out of an abusive relationship. We have been going slow with things. We get along great. Her ex was very verbally abusive to her and these type of guys are all she has ever known. She is 41 years old and never married because of her choices in men. I am mr. nice guy compared to any of the guys she has been with. She says she can't handle nice guys like me. My problem is I don't understand why and when we are together she says I scare the s#!t out of her. I don't get that either and she won't give me an answer when I ask why she says that. I know she wants to be happy finally in life with a good guy. She has hit the point in her life where she wants to be married and settle down. Why does she say I scare her?
Hkizzle Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 She's so used to abuse she's actually scared of someone that actually loves her. There are active commitmentphobes, then there are the passive ones that are drawn to aholes that treat them like crap.
leap83 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 This thread will help you understand her a bit more - read through all of the comments (you will probably find some similarities between her and other men/women in the thread). Btw, it's a warning sign you SHOULDN'T ignore. She might pull away, she might not. The thread should explain it. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t201532/
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 . She has hit the point in her life where she wants to be married and settle down. Why does she say I scare her? That is a bad sign friend. Do not get too wrapped up in this woman. Keep her at arms length!
JustLooking123 Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Sounds like she doesn't know how to be treated well. On some level, she probably feels like she doesn't deserve it. Has she ever been in therapy? Sounds like she needs it.
stepka Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I have a friend who is married to a woman like that. He is very good to her, but while he was on vacation this summer he found out that she was having an affair. And you guessed it: the man she was having an affair with was hitting her and now she is leaving my friend for the other man. Women who do this repeatedly often don't have respect for men who treat them well.
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