fabulous_chk Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 And he said, "When I realized you were looking for another guy, yeah, it was easy." And what he told me eased my mind. All this time I thought that there's something in me that makes men cheat, some internal fault, character flaw....but there wasn't. We were having trouble with our relationship and I was planning ahead...getting ready for the break-up, opening my world to other people (I never cheated) because for four years it was me and him against the world. He sensed it and retaliated by finding comfort with another girl, a silly girl who only hurt him. I feel sorry for my ex...I have hurt him unconsciously, basically drove him to another person who would hurt him in the end also. I finally saw her pictures today. She has a very nice body, but a plain unassuming face. Not pretty, but she looks very young. After all, she was 19 to my ex who is turning 29 this November. He must have thought it charming to have somebody so much younger who will look up to him and make him her only world. (I'm 27 and very close to getting a financially-rewarding degree. He's an unemployed bartender/musician with no direction in life). And maybe she was good in bed. According to my ex, he could not stop f**king her. Our sex life had gone stale because of me always being tired and not making an effort. For the longest time, I envisioned her to be a young Latina seductress...like one of those Victoria's Secret models. I would get so angry when seeing pretty Latinas. I drove myself crazy for nothing. I am the prettier one. She had nothing on me. She is mousy and plain. I have an interesting face - not beautiful in the conventional sense, but I do get lots of atttention. She was actually obsessed on me acccording to my ex, reading my blogs and looking at my pictures, which prompted him to ask me for a threesome with her (yeah he went mental). I am at peace now. Nothing was wrong with me. Relationship would have ended anyway, but more amicably if onlu i spoke about my concerns. It certainly would not be the disaster it was which left three people hurting. My ex and I are working on being friends. I am in a relationship right now with a wonderful man, more compatible with me than my ex ever was. He and the other girl did not even last 2 months, she was a stupid young girl trying to play games. I hope someday when she grows up she and my ex can make it work. For my ex certainly did love her, fell in love with her with an intensity he never showed me. I am at peace now, now that I have confronted my irrational fears and obtained the truth. Now I can work on my current relationship. I am free now from the past. Free from the burden that I carried with me for so long.
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