Island Girl Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 That first kiss is something, isn't it? Btw, thanks for the spelling fix. I stared at it over and over again, wondering what was wrong with that word! Not a problem sista! I didn't even notice your mistake.
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 Yeah, I was actually thinking of a make-out session when the blush from death happened. LOL I wasn't prepared for the involuntary bodily reactions this guy is causing. He screwed up my cycle last month...I read something about pheremones. I never have a short cycle, so...yeah. The anticipation between makes it that much sweeter, yes. Was starting to feel like a crazy woman - you ladies are making me feel better. LOL
Island Girl Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Yeah, I was actually thinking of a make-out session when the blush from death happened. LOL I wasn't prepared for the involuntary bodily reactions this guy is causing. He screwed up my cycle last month...I read something about pheremones. I never have a short cycle, so...yeah. The anticipation between makes it that much sweeter, yes. Was starting to feel like a crazy woman - you ladies are making me feel better. LOL I had the same feeling for years with my husband. Now it has - um I suppose would be the word would be settled (?) a bit but even when I went there to get married - Well, people in LDRs will tell you it takes a bit to get comfortable with each other again (and they are usually talking about weeks or months) I hadn't seen him in three years. But when I saw him - it was immediate sparks. There was a palpable electricity between us and it never stopped. Other people around us commented on it and most of them had never seen me before. He makes me crazy in every way (and I him). Why do you think we have lasted so long waiting for each other? Because we know this is a rarity and not something that will come along again in our lifetime. It is truly magical. :love:
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 Just to update....he was offended that I assumed he WASN'T paying for the whole thing. I had a feeling he would be, I should have listened to the feeling. He has now told me that if he invites me to do something, I should ASSUME he's paying for it. Geesh - I didn't think they made guys like this. LOL
dreamergrl Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Just to update....he was offended that I assumed he WASN'T paying for the whole thing. I had a feeling he would be, I should have listened to the feeling. He has now told me that if he invites me to do something, I should ASSUME he's paying for it. Geesh - I didn't think they made guys like this. LOL So are you going ? :bunny:
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted September 17, 2009 Author Posted September 17, 2009 So are you going ? :bunny: Hellz, yeah. :love: I'm nervous as all get out, too. I'll be flying through your town most likely, DG...if not FROM there. Don't know, yet. He said he'd let me know what he got figured out. But I'll be in Denver on the 7th for my friend's wedding. Staying overnight and then maybe/maybe not driving back on the 8th...not sure. You busy?
Island Girl Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Just to update....he was offended that I assumed he WASN'T paying for the whole thing. I had a feeling he would be, I should have listened to the feeling. He has now told me that if he invites me to do something, I should ASSUME he's paying for it. Geesh - I didn't think they made guys like this. LOL Yep! They sure do. These days they seem very few and far between though... I think I said before he knows you make less money than he does and the things he wants to do may, at times, be completely out of your ballpark. He doesn't care about the money - he wants to do activity X and wants YOUR company specifically. I'm sure he's more than happy to pay. Oh for the days of whirlwind dating and trips, etc. I miss those! Enjoy yourself!! A mistake many women make is getting so hung up on the money and how much things are they don't enjoy themselves - and then he doesn't enjoy himself either - and it leads to a jumble of not so good feelings. Be free with it. He has the money let him spend it if and how he likes - don't worry about it at all. Ooooooo! And get all caught up in that amazing sexual chemistry as often as possible! I just know you are going to have an amazing time! YAY!
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted September 18, 2009 Author Posted September 18, 2009 Thanks, IG. I'm so excited at times I feel like I'm jumping out of my skin and at other times, the nerve bundle in my stomach makes me sick. LOL And I have a bit of time to wait before we go. It is really hard not to think about the money. I know he doesn't, I just do! I can't get it out of my head: "Really? You thought I meant go dutch?" LOL I'll do my best to shut my brain down and just enjoy him. It's SO hard talking to him every night over the phone when I know that in a short time, it'll be in his arms for a couple of very short, sweet days/nights. Those will be hard to leave behind. *sigh* I know you understand more than most how that is, IG, so I'll do my best not to complain too much when the time comes.
loveslife Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Thanks, IG. I'm so excited at times I feel like I'm jumping out of my skin and at other times, the nerve bundle in my stomach makes me sick. LOL And I have a bit of time to wait before we go. It is really hard not to think about the money. I know he doesn't, I just do! I can't get it out of my head: "Really? You thought I meant go dutch?" LOL I'll do my best to shut my brain down and just enjoy him. I get that way, too. But a lot of guys who make good money seem to like to spend it on doing things with women. I disagree that these men are few and far between though. At least I've seen a lot of them. A lot of guys will get offended if the women tries to pay. He'll get over that. I think it's good that you said something, SS. Now it's all clear.
caramel c Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Seeing this guy kind of casually the past month. There are definite feelings, but skittishness on both sides due to past hurts. Things have been hot with the chemistry, not "all the way," yet, though. We have been out only like 5 times, but text/email A LOT. Anyway. He invited me to go with him on a trip in a month. He's going for business, but will have a bit of down time to have fun together. It's still up in the air for a couple reasons - I don't want to talk about it. But here's my dilemma - he and I both have a pretty good idea that he makes probably 4 times what I make. I really can't afford plane tickets and that's what he's doing - flying. Knowing him as I do (he's an outright gentleman - won't let me pay for anything, opens doors, very chivalrous), he probably has it in mind that he's GOING to pay. But I would like to be polite...or would it be rude? To just ask if he'd like me to pay for my tickets? How do I phrase the question? I honestly CAN'T afford to pay for the tickets, so is there a way of saying that without sounding cheap? I may be overthinking the situation, anyway, I'd just like some feedback. I wouldn't feel comfortable going unless I could pay for my own ticket as a back up, even if I was almost sure that he was going to pay. That's why it's kind of hard here for me to give any advice since you already made up your mind to go anyway...I'm not sure what you should say.
caramel c Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Knowing me though...I probably wouldn't be going at all anyway even if I could afford to pay as a back up. So, you should probably disregard my replies lol.
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted September 18, 2009 Author Posted September 18, 2009 Caramel - yeah, the timeline is not incredibly normal. We will have only known each other for 2 months by the time we go on the trip. But the progression of the relationship has not been normal, anyway. C'est le vie. I'm not going to question what has thus far been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I'm excited to get to have a good amount of in-person time with him...I'd like to make ABSOLUTELY sure that what I'm feeling is genuine (and for him, too). With the shortage in our ability to get together in person, it's hard to gauge. I'd hate to invest my time and emotions in this for 6 months only to realize that we suck at having down time together. It's hard to explain. But time constraints in both of our lives is what pushes me to jump at the opportunity. And if it's possibly my safety you're worried about - I know way too much info about the guy to be concerned.
Island Girl Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 It's SO hard talking to him every night over the phone when I know that in a short time, it'll be in his arms for a couple of very short, sweet days/nights. Those will be hard to leave behind. *sigh* I know you understand more than most how that is, IG, so I'll do my best not to complain too much when the time comes. Oh believe me I understand the anticipation of knowing you'll be missing him again. And just because I experience it as an old frienemy of sorts - familiar yet hated - doesn't mean I don't understand how difficult feeling that it is. In a sense it is easier for me because I have been with it for so long, I am accustomed, and that is a terrible thing! Anyway, yes try to let the money thing go. Just realize that if YOU had it and found him and he didn't have as much - you would use it no problem to enjoy time together. Just as you have not enjoyed someone sooooo passionately and it's fun, etc. - He feels that way about YOU. It isn't easy at all to find THAT kind of connection (I know about that too ) and when you find it, it is one of those things you can't go back from and just crave, crave, crave it. Money doesn't matter because if you have it and can spend it to be with that person then you do and it really doesn't matter at all. Hope that makes sense. I am soooo very happy for you. I really, really am. And I look forward to updates chicka!!!
caramel c Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Caramel - yeah, the timeline is not incredibly normal. We will have only known each other for 2 months by the time we go on the trip. But the progression of the relationship has not been normal, anyway. C'est le vie. I'm not going to question what has thus far been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I'm excited to get to have a good amount of in-person time with him...I'd like to make ABSOLUTELY sure that what I'm feeling is genuine (and for him, too). With the shortage in our ability to get together in person, it's hard to gauge. I'd hate to invest my time and emotions in this for 6 months only to realize that we suck at having down time together. It's hard to explain. But time constraints in both of our lives is what pushes me to jump at the opportunity. And if it's possibly my safety you're worried about - I know way too much info about the guy to be concerned. Well I hope you have a wonderful time! And, YES, there are plenty of men who feel that if they invite you to something they are going to pay. I've never experienced otherwise. They are out there, everywhere. Oh, I said the 2nd part because of your use of the word 'skittish'...though I'm not sure exactly what you meant by it, it sounded like something with him was a little off.
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted September 18, 2009 Author Posted September 18, 2009 Anyway, yes try to let the money thing go. Just realize that if YOU had it and found him and he didn't have as much - you would use it no problem to enjoy time together. Just as you have not enjoyed someone sooooo passionately and it's fun, etc. - He feels that way about YOU. It isn't easy at all to find THAT kind of connection (I know about that too ) and when you find it, it is one of those things you can't go back from and just crave, crave, crave it. Money doesn't matter because if you have it and can spend it to be with that person then you do and it really doesn't matter at all. Hope that makes sense. I totally hear you. That's why I've been slightly more reckless here than I normally would be. I HAVE to see if it is what I think it is. And yes, if I had the money, I wouldn't care, either. You make a good point. I am soooo very happy for you. I really, really am. And I look forward to updates chicka!!! You will until I can't shut up about it. :laugh: I'm kidding. Oh, I said the 2nd part because of your use of the word 'skittish'...though I'm not sure exactly what you meant by it, it sounded like something with him was a little off. Oh, ha...no. Skittish because we've both been burned terribly in past relationships. I got divorced a year ago and the relationship REALLY shook my faith in men. I tell him things (kind of like setting standards) that I expect and he almost seems disgusted that I even think it's necessary to mention. What can I say? By being such an ***hole, my XH made it really easy to please me for any future man. This guy goes way above and beyond my minimums, though - that's what I meant above about "guys like him." Not the paying thing. My xbf (post-marriage) paid for us to go to a wedding of a friend of his (flight, very nice hotel, etc)...but that was 6 months into the relationship. So I know decent guys are like that.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 This is a fun thread to read. I totally agree with JS's advice, and that's exactly how I handled a similar situation with an ex of mine. We were at dinner one night, and he invited me on a long weekend trip -- the first we would take together. I had just graduated college and gotten my first real job, and funds were tight, so I said, "It's so sweet of you to invite me, but I just can't swing it financially right now." He said, "I want to treat you! I'll take care of everything." I was young and inexperienced, and because of my own hangups about money, I was not able to let him pay for everything -- he got the tickets and hotel, and I covered all the restaurants and entertainment, even though it really stretched my budget. Stupid girl! With hindsight, my advice is ENJOY, and do not feel obligated to pitch in. He can afford it, and he wants to treat you. Let him.
Trialbyfire Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I'm kind of ambivalent about the paying thing but I'm so very happy for your happiness SSC!
Ruby Slippers Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I am going to visit a friend in NYC this month, and she has invited me to a cool and expensive show. I'm really trying to buckle down with my biz right now and be fiscally responsible, so I don't really want to spring for pricey show tickets -- plus, I've already invested in tickets and time off from my biz to visit. She offered to pay, and I know she can easily afford it, so I will graciously accept her gift. This is a good situation for everyone involved. She's generously offering -- I'm graciously accepting. SSC's guy is doing fine with money, wants the pleasure of her company on his trip, and is happy to take care of the cost. Where's the problem here? There is none.
Trialbyfire Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I think it important that people mutually spoil each other, at different times. But, where I draw the line, is expecting someone to always pay, even if they make 10 times your salary. His money, isn't your money, as your money isn't his money. That's the attitude I hate, regardless of gender. If you can't afford to do everything with him, then peel back what you're doing and do some simple things, some of the time. Having said all that, SSC doesn't strike me as the "votre argent est mon argent" type, so I can only celebrate her happiness with her!
Ruby Slippers Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 If you can't afford to do everything with him, then peel back what you're doing and do some simple things, some of the time. I don't agree. My last boyfriend had a lot more money to blow than I did, and he loved going out on extravagant, multi-stage nights on the town and taking me with him. He had no problem paying for me -- in fact, he seemed to enjoy doing it -- so I had no problem accepting his generosity graciously and having a great time. I never expected him to splash out on me, but I didn't turn it down. Why would I try to talk him out of a fun night out? "Come on, honey, let's just stay home, rent a movie, and play Scrabble" If he's all jazzed up to take me out on the town and do it up right, and if he can afford it and wants to pay for it, why would I want to discourage him? If I were the one with money to burn, I'd have wined and dined him, too!
loveslife Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 Some guys really, genuinely, truly enjoy spending money on doing nice things with a woman they like/love. They get pleasure from being able to spoil the girl or pay the tab during their time together. I don't see anything wrong with that. Not that they have to or I expect it, but if they enjoy it and I enjoy it, why not.
The Collector Posted September 19, 2009 Posted September 19, 2009 Men don't get offended about anything, least of all the idea that a woman offers to pay her share. We are quite capable of pretending to be offended if we think that will get us into your pants.
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted September 19, 2009 Author Posted September 19, 2009 With hindsight, my advice is ENJOY, and do not feel obligated to pitch in. He can afford it, and he wants to treat you. Let him. I'm trying. I'm really trying. LOL We had some particular words about this yesterday and I think I made him feel bad. So I'm going to shut up, already. I told him that at this point, spoiling me could only help his cause (because he joked that if he paid for my flight, it'll make me think poorly of him...oops). Having said all that, SSC doesn't strike me as the "votre argent est mon argent" type, so I can only celebrate her happiness with her! :o Goodness, no. It's important to me that he understand that. Thanks, TBF. Men don't get offended about anything, least of all the idea that a woman offers to pay her share. We are quite capable of pretending to be offended if we think that will get us into your pants. *snort* :laugh: OMG, too funny, Collector. Thanks for that...um...perspective. LMAO
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