AAlike Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I agree with Jersey and as a result have made an appointment with a neurologist to see what's wrong. Requoted this line for sheer fantastic-ness...
Jersey Shortie Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I agree with Jersey and as a result have made an appointment with a neurologist to see what's wrong. Either way, all we can see in this thread are con after con after con. What's good about this guy again? Isn't there some porn around that you need to be wanking off too? That seems to be the extent of what most men can do now-a-days.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 don't focus on hating the porn, focus on realizing that your guy is a douche. Yes. Pleaes love and support an industry that treats and tells women they are wortheless beyond their t&As and that millions of men that are husbands,boyfriends, fathers, brothers are selling out women for just so they can wank it off a few times to 18 year olds with breast implants. Love where men's priorites are now-a-days..Oh but that's right..dont hate the porn even though clearly women are treated like the are less then dogs in porn.
Island Girl Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Yes. Pleaes love and support an industry that treats and tells women they are wortheless beyond their t&As and that millions of men that are husbands,boyfriends, fathers, brothers are selling out women for just so they can wank it off a few times to 18 year olds with breast implants. Love where men's priorites are now-a-days..Oh but that's right..dont hate the porn even though clearly women are treated like the are less then dogs in porn. Hey!! I like porn. You may not agree but I have no problem using porn as an additional stimulant in the bedroom (or living room, kitchen, etc.). I don't see any message that I am worthless beyond my T&A. In fact I see my T&A adored and men watching porn can sure learn how to truly appreciate the female body.
rudeaims Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Well I had posted about this issue a while ago basically my new relationship is not going as I would hoped it to. I just don't understand this guy! he says he loves me he says he doesn't want to separate Ive gotten to that point a few times now the thing is were close but not really in a sexual way to be honest. Other then me pleasuring him once in a while witch he doesn't even seam to want that anymore really. Not to be to graphic but I was um doing my thing today in the shower for him and he actually told me to stop I was like huh OK? He then got out and went in the bed room I finished my shower I come in the bed room and sure enough hes butt naked watching porn! If I let him he will wannk to it before bed with me trying to sleep in the same room mind you. And then again the next day I had tried to tell him it was bothering me the other day he said he would slow down. But like I said last night and again today! I told him I feel like a maid not a partner dose that make any sense? Any advice much appreciated why would a guy want to stay with a girl who he never has sex with? I don't understand only thing I can figure is hes not attracted to me in that way but again when I try to break up he doesn't want to HELP! He did try to pleasure me last night not sex itself that never happens just with his hands it was OK I kind of went along and said it was good. But afterwords I just felt like he did it to be nice or something if that makes any sense he hopped right on the pron afterwards as well? I dunno I'm very confused here I just want a normal loving intimate relationship with some one who I know is attracted to me.. I find I'm resenting the porn and wondering why he needs it 24/7 almost when I'm here is that wrong or selfish? You should read my post- My only advice is a good vibrator/dildo if you are staying with the sexless Di*k...His initials would not happen to be TAD? LOL wow- yeah. Porn vs hot kinky sex? If you find the answer let me know.
rudeaims Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 BTW there is a differance with WATCHING PORN when your woman is not around or on her period vs preferring porn over your woman- I really do not think that people understand the differance. Porn can be addictive- not just a means of "getting by". Who does not masturbate? Everything in moderation kiddos. It is the differance of a drunk every night or someone who socially drinks when the timing calls for it. BAAAAAH.
Island Girl Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 BTW there is a differance with WATCHING PORN when your woman is not around or on her period vs preferring porn over your woman- I really do not think that people understand the differance. Porn can be addictive- not just a means of "getting by". Who does not masturbate? Everything in moderation kiddos. It is the differance of a drunk every night or someone who socially drinks when the timing calls for it. BAAAAAH. Who doesn't understand the difference?
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 Wow this thread got some attention thanks for the replies guys! NO HES NOT A DOUCHE believe me Ive been in a relationship with a real one so I know the difference! I think people tend to lump all guys into the douche category once they do something wrong not always true. Even since yesterday hes been very sweet and attentive to me he said he will not use porn like he use to. He asked if he can once in a while maybe once a week I say sure why not? **** porn is OK once in a while I just watched a bit myself lol. However it was fun and not to replace him theres a difference. He is a bit addicted like some one said earlier its a learned pattern it will take a while to unlearn this stuff. Hes still no donjuan but hes genuinely sweet so thats a starting point no mans perfect. I also need to relax and be a little more open minded for him I think if I don't want him using other means fair enough.. OK time to make dinner thanks again guys...
Island Girl Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I also need to relax and be a little more open minded for him I think if I don't want him using other means fair enough.. OK time to make dinner thanks again guys... As I suggested earlier -- maybe you could spice things up and make your life together -- moments of it -- like a porn movie. French Maid's outfit while cleaning and then progresses to a hot sex session or -- cooking in an apron and hooker heels ONLY -- you get the idea. or ask him about his fantasies and get some ideas. Keep in mind he picked YOU - he is with YOU - so you can work on the insecurity issue as well.
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 As I suggested earlier -- maybe you could spice things up and make your life together -- moments of it -- like a porn movie. French Maid's outfit while cleaning and then progresses to a hot sex session or -- cooking in an apron and hooker heels ONLY -- you get the idea. or ask him about his fantasies and get some ideas. Keep in mind he picked YOU - he is with YOU - so you can work on the insecurity issue as well. Hey Island thanks for the great advice Hun but I think I'll pass on the French maid and hooker heels I could just see that spectacle LOL.. But I do get the essence of what your saying and your right on. Another thing I never though about was I chose a kinky guy I knew that before hand. And me being kind of Conservative and I guess very shy compared to him sexually its going to be changeling for me but hes def worth working on it to me anyways!
Jersey Shortie Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I don't see any message that I am worthless beyond my T&A. In fact I see my T&A adored and men watching porn can sure learn how to truly appreciate the female body. Ummm, men need porn to learn hot to "truly" apprecaite the female body?????? Whaaat? If that is true, that is 100% SAD. And porn really only projects one type of body type in the majority form. On top of that, whenever I have seen porn, it's more about doing the things that pleased the man visually or physically then it's ever about the things that truly please women. We can disagree on the message porn gives. But I do think porn gives the message that women are worthless to men beyond their T&A. And stereotypically, most men are looking at a limited age group of young women. When we get old..hitting 30,40 or 50..and millions of husbands, fathers and boyfriends are still lookinag porn of the same aged group of women, that is a HUGE message about what men thing about women and especially his own naturally aging woman. I don't think men are big on women being truly natural or human.
Island Girl Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Ummm, men need porn to learn hot to "truly" apprecaite the female body?????? Whaaat? If that is true, that is 100% SAD. And porn really only projects one type of body type in the majority form. At no point have I ever said they NEED it to appreciate the female body. As I stated it can teach them a thing or two if they are so inclined. On top of that, whenever I have seen porn, it's more about doing the things that pleased the man visually or physically then it's ever about the things that truly please women. That is your experience. Many others, male AND female have other experiences. We can disagree on the message porn gives. But I do think porn gives the message that women are worthless to men beyond their T&A. Yep. Got that from your previous post where you said the same thing. I don't think anyone would have any question about that. And stereotypically, most men are looking at a limited age group of young women. When we get old..hitting 30,40 or 50..and millions of husbands, fathers and boyfriends are still lookinag porn of the same aged group of women, that is a HUGE message about what men thing about women and especially his own naturally aging woman. I don't think men are big on women being truly natural or human. My husband is 42. He is just as attractive to me as he ever was although he has aged. That doesn't mean I can't appreciate the hot bod of a 20 something man who takes care of himself. As you yourself state this is a stereotype. I am pretty careful about buying into blatant stereotypes. I like to form my own opinion on such matters. As a very capable woman I take pride in a lot of things that have nothing at all to do with my physical appearance -- but I can still be proud of what physical attributes I was born with and appreciate the fact that those things are attractive to the opposite sex. I like to feel sexy, I like to flirt, and I like feeling capable of generating a sexual charge. As to men not appreciating an aging or "natural" woman, my experience is that this is not remotely true for the majority of men that I know personally or encounter. I am sure there are such men out there; they are few and far between. And that would be their problem not mine or any other female's. If they can't appreciate a woman in front of them that is something they need to solve that or be alone for the rest of their lives. I wouldn't pin that problem solely on the porn industry given that many couples and individuals (female and male) enjoy porn together and use it as a tool to enhance their sex lives. So, yes, we'll have to agree to disagree on this one.
AAlike Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Yes. Pleaes love and support an industry that treats and tells women they are wortheless beyond their t&As and that millions of men that are husbands,boyfriends, fathers, brothers are selling out women for just so they can wank it off a few times to 18 year olds with breast implants. Love where men's priorites are now-a-days..Oh but that's right..dont hate the porn even though clearly women are treated like the are less then dogs in porn. sigh - as usual, you missed my point. I'm not saying to "love and support" porn...her opinion of porn is not the focal point of this problem at all. what I'm saying is place the blame where it's due - on the guy, not the porn. I might hate drugs but I'm still always going to blame the drug USER not the drugs. but of course the thread has already started to degenerate into a "porn is inherently evil vs. porn is no big deal" thread yet again, which is ridiculous considering OP HERSELF is even saying that a little porn is no big deal. that is not even close to the problem in this case. do you people really believe that if he stops watching porn that their intimate life will all of a sudden come back?
AAlike Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Wow this thread got some attention thanks for the replies guys! NO HES NOT A DOUCHE believe me Ive been in a relationship with a real one so I know the difference! I think people tend to lump all guys into the douche category once they do something wrong not always true. Even since yesterday hes been very sweet and attentive to me he said he will not use porn like he use to. well maybe he's not always a douche but to reject your advance and then jerk off in front of you is pretty mind-blowingly bad. I hope that it works out for you, but I don't think that simply him not using porn is going to fix your problem.
missdependant Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 At no point have I ever said they NEED it to appreciate the female body. As I stated it can teach them a thing or two if they are so inclined. That is your experience. Many others, male AND female have other experiences. Yep. Got that from your previous post where you said the same thing. I don't think anyone would have any question about that. My husband is 42. He is just as attractive to me as he ever was although he has aged. That doesn't mean I can't appreciate the hot bod of a 20 something man who takes care of himself. As you yourself state this is a stereotype. I am pretty careful about buying into blatant stereotypes. I like to form my own opinion on such matters. As a very capable woman I take pride in a lot of things that have nothing at all to do with my physical appearance -- but I can still be proud of what physical attributes I was born with and appreciate the fact that those things are attractive to the opposite sex. I like to feel sexy, I like to flirt, and I like feeling capable of generating a sexual charge. As to men not appreciating an aging or "natural" woman, my experience is that this is not remotely true for the majority of men that I know personally or encounter. I am sure there are such men out there; they are few and far between. And that would be their problem not mine or any other female's. If they can't appreciate a woman in front of them that is something they need to solve that or be alone for the rest of their lives. I wouldn't pin that problem solely on the porn industry given that many couples and individuals (female and male) enjoy porn together and use it as a tool to enhance their sex lives. So, yes, we'll have to agree to disagree on this one. Trust me, don't get her started lol... This will turn into a 30 page thread of JS preaching about why porn is evil (but only when men watch it, it's okay if women watch it). The poor thing doesn't understand the difference between love and lust.. may never understand the difference.
missdependant Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 sigh - as usual, you missed my point. I'm not saying to "love and support" porn...her opinion of porn is not the focal point of this problem at all. what I'm saying is place the blame where it's due - on the guy, not the porn. I might hate drugs but I'm still always going to blame the drug USER not the drugs. I agree with this.
JackJack Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Wow this thread got some attention thanks for the replies guys! NO HES NOT A DOUCHE believe me Ive been in a relationship with a real one so I know the difference! I think people tend to lump all guys into the douche category once they do something wrong not always true. Even since yesterday hes been very sweet and attentive to me he said he will not use porn like he use to. He asked if he can once in a while maybe once a week I say sure why not? **** porn is OK once in a while I just watched a bit myself lol. However it was fun and not to replace him theres a difference. He is a bit addicted like some one said earlier its a learned pattern it will take a while to unlearn this stuff. Hes still no donjuan but hes genuinely sweet so thats a starting point no mans perfect. I also need to relax and be a little more open minded for him I think if I don't want him using other means fair enough.. OK time to make dinner thanks again guys... It seems you all have reached a compromise, and that's good. I hope in a few weeks/months time you are not posting here on this subject again, and how is is doing it to much once again. Hopefully the compromise will work and stick for you both.
Island Girl Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Trust me, don't get her started lol... This will turn into a 30 page thread of JS preaching about why porn is evil (but only when men watch it, it's okay if women watch it). The poor thing doesn't understand the difference between love and lust.. may never understand the difference. Heeding the warning! Sorry Spanks!
LakesideDream Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I don't get it, I don't get it, I don't get it, I don't get it, A man who prefers porn to a live, attractive, willing partner seems pathalogical to me. At best, he's lazy and very short sighted. I'd give half the rest of my life for what the man is throwing away. End the relationship and find someone who wants you.
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 Ummm, men need porn to learn hot to "truly" apprecaite the female body?????? Whaaat? If that is true, that is 100% SAD. And porn really only projects one type of body type in the majority form. On top of that, whenever I have seen porn, it's more about doing the things that pleased the man visually or physically then it's ever about the things that truly please women. We can disagree on the message porn gives. But I do think porn gives the message that women are worthless to men beyond their T&A. And stereotypically, most men are looking at a limited age group of young women. When we get old..hitting 30,40 or 50..and millions of husbands, fathers and boyfriends are still lookinag porn of the same aged group of women, that is a HUGE message about what men thing about women and especially his own naturally aging woman. I don't think men are big on women being truly natural or human. While I respect your right to your opinion I disagree I think your blaming porn for disrespecting women in general witch isn't true. So what about the men in the videos? are we as women disrespecting them when we watch porn? Porn is OK like everything else in life in moderation my issue was he was/is addicted to it then theres a prob! well maybe he's not always a douche but to reject your advance and then jerk off in front of you is pretty mind-blowingly bad. I hope that it works out for you, but I don't think that simply him not using porn is going to fix your problem. Keep in mind this is something hes been doing for YEARS hes 31 and I'm his 1st gf his 1st hetero relationship matter of fact. So I'm fairly sure allot of these issues are stemming from that fact while its not a free pass for ever! It dose mean I will have to be more understanding for a while I think.. It seems you all have reached a compromise, and that's good. I hope in a few weeks/months time you are not posting here on this subject again, and how is is doing it to much once again. Hopefully the compromise will work and stick for you both. Yes I believe we have I can see hes trying to please me more witch is nice and Ive been reciprocating when ever he wants its awkward but were getting there lol... Heeding the warning! Sorry Spanks! No worries Island little light hearted debate never hurt anyone I don't get it, I don't get it, I don't get it, I don't get it, A man who prefers porn to a live, attractive, willing partner seems pathalogical to me. At best, he's lazy and very short sighted. I'd give half the rest of my life for what the man is throwing away. End the relationship and find someone who wants you. He dose want me that I can see hes just having a hard time breaking out of his old ways. Hes honestly trying I will say he puts me 1st most of the time what more can you ask of the guy. Theres love there I can feel it and long as thats there then its a good starting point. The way I see it theres no perfect man or women out there I'm not perfect I came into this with my own baggage hes dealing with. I think the perfect partner is a elusive dream allot of people chase now adays. Sure I can dump him and deal with what ever issues the next guy has could be allot worse who knows or end up bitter and alone witch is better you think?
AAlike Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Keep in mind this is something hes been doing for YEARS hes 31 and I'm his 1st gf his 1st hetero relationship matter of fact. whoa whoa hold on a second - is he pleasuring himself to gay porn or straight???
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 whoa whoa hold on a second - is he pleasuring himself to gay porn or straight??? He seams to prefer lesbeins but he can watch gay as well all tho Ive never seen him really do that its usually always lesbo action with maybe a guy tossed in once in a while witch considering hes bi is odd but good I couldn't stand gay porn 24/7 lol..
missdependant Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I'm his 1st gf his 1st hetero relationship matter of fact. Okay, so the plot thickens....... How do you feel about this?
Author SpanksTheMonkey Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 Okay, so the plot thickens....... How do you feel about this? Well that you bring that up is interesting at 1st I excepted it for as he was even told him you shouldn't change people. In that light I told him go about what ever you did with your male acquaintances just don't tell me. So in a way I was sticking my head in the sand well it didn't work that way and one night he told me still don't understand why? I was devastated but ever since then I think he saw how much it upset me hes to my knowledge stopped the bi activity all together. Basically it was either that or we were splitting I told him now I would never condone cheating again and lets face it its cheating being bi is no excuse for it. Yes we have worked Thu that issue I feel so if we could work Thu a massive one like that I'm sure the porn will work itself out as well he hasn't gone back to it as of yet so all is clear so far..
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