dreamergrl Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 So at my bbq Saturday, which I thought went great, but one of my male friends who is in a relationship and has a baby with his gf was kind of flirty with my 20 year old neighbor. I found out today he has been pissed at me. See, at the bbq, EVERYONE was joking around and having fun with each other. We'd be cracking jokes at or with one another. Everyone was laughing it off and having fun. Later on, it was just me, my neighbor and the taken friend, we stayed up a bit longer, partying a little longer. He ended up making out with her. This bothered me because a) she has no idea and b) he was using my home to cheat on his gf. I didn't come out and say anything, but I did try to end the night quicker and on a good note. I thought everything ended up getting ended on a good note.. Well taken friend today tells me that I made a fool of him in front of neighbor. He told me that I was jealous of him and her (really I wasn't, I have no attraction to my male friends - espcially the taken ones), and I made him look silly. Really all I did was push to end the night, because I didn't want him drunk cheating on his gf with my neighbor. She ended up having to go anyways. He crashed in my roommates room (he wasn't home, and it's actually his friend, I met him through my roommate, but we've become friends). But nothing was done intentionally to make him look bad. The whole group (before everyone left) was joking around with everyone else. All in jest. I think the taken friend knows this, but his pride is hurt because whatever he wanted with this girl didn't work out or something. I told him I was sorry if I upset him, but it wasn't intentional. I did mention though that I didn't think it was cool he was using my home to make a play on my neighbor when he's got a girl at home.
bluewolf17 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 Dreamer, Did the cheater explain how you made him feel like a fool in front of everyone? Did he get specific? I don't blame you for wanting to cut the party short.
broken umbrella Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 Sounds like he was annoyed that you were interfering with his make out session. Anytime you interfere with someone's game it is likely that you will get a negative response, even if your intentions are good. What he does is his business, I would leave it at that.
Citizen Erased Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 No, it wasn't wrong. His behaviour was disgusting.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 Dreamer, Did the cheater explain how you made him feel like a fool in front of everyone? Did he get specific? I don't blame you for wanting to cut the party short. When everyone was joking around and stuff, he said I made a fool out of him then. And some water accidentally got spilled, and he assumed it was done intentionally. He told me that it was wrong of me to assume he has a gf, but it's pretty known has he's told people in front of me, as well as to me last week. And that it's not my business. But what goes on in my home is my business. I don't want people using my place to cheat. That's not cool. I mean the party already had been going on for a good six hours. I thought I did good by cutting it over when things like that start happening. I figured everything was okay until tonight.
Calendula Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I'd say you were totally in the right. If anyone made him look silly or a fool it was him for making out with the girl in the first place. It sounds like you weren't happy with what was going on and therefore did something about it (by ending the party), as you rightfully should in your own home. I would agree that his response is probably mostly from wounded pride and ego. If he goes on about it, I would suggest pointing out to him that you could have brought up the subject of his kid with his current girlfriend in front of the make-out girl and really embarrased him. At least you were discrete.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 Sounds like he was annoyed that you were interfering with his make out session. Anytime you interfere with someone's game it is likely that you will get a negative response, even if your intentions are good. What he does is his business, I would leave it at that. And when it's in my living room? I wasn't cool with my place being used for him to cheat on his girlfriend.
boldjack Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 You did the right thing, DG, and he should be grateful that you don't tell his GF. What an a**hole!
broken umbrella Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 And when it's in my living room? I wasn't cool with my place being used for him to cheat on his girlfriend. I'm not saying what he did was right, but it is his business... and he will have to live with the consequences if his girl finds out. Which she probably will since he does not seem to have any decency. He is acting like a jerk and trying to make you feel bad because you pulled the plug on his party. No doubt about it.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 I'm glad I didn't do anything wrong. I guess he was just turning things around to make me feel bad since his game got blown.
Keoki Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 How was his game blown if you didn't try to make him look bad??
Trimmer Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 Well taken friend today tells me that I made a fool of him in front of neighbor. He told me that I was jealous of him and her... Boy, I think that part would either piss me off or make me laugh at him. I think I would tell him something like "First of all, please leave your ego outside, because the three of us can't fit in this room at once. I wasn't jealous of you, I was embarrassed by your behavior, and I didn't feel like providing a venue for you to continue it. Finally, I didn't make a fool of you - you were doing fine all by yourself. I could have done much worse by bringing up your girlfriend or causing some other kind of snit, but instead I tried to gracefully wind things down so I could get my house back. Other than that, you're imagining things." I'd stuff it back in his face, but that's just me. And I don't look at it like you were sticking your nose "in his business." In fact, he was behaving in a way that made you uncomfortable in your house, and so you brought the evening to an end in a reasonable way. You have every right to do that, just as much as if someone were dancing on the coffee table with a lampshade on their head. It was a bonus, and kind of you, to do it in a graceful way, instead of calling him out. How was his game blown if you didn't try to make him look bad?? By ending the night and removing his venue for playing. She didn't have to make him look bad - he could still (unreasonably) be irritated that she closed the sandbox he was playing in.
bayouboi Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 You should have told him that he made YOU feel like a fool in that he thought it was okay to use your good graces for his sleaziness.
Author dreamergrl Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 I wonder if they swapped digits or something and she just didn't get back to him or what. When I was ending the night, she left saying she had to pick up some friends, and she'd text (him) when she got back. Maybe she never text him.
loveslife Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 Are you going to tell your neighbor that he has a gf?
Author dreamergrl Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 Are you going to tell your neighbor that he has a gf? I haven't really figured that out. I haven't seen her or heard from her yet. I tried to drop a very subtle hint that night, but the taken friend was always right there. And she either didn't care, or didn't get it, because she proceeded to make out with him.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 No, I don't think you were wrong at all. Your home, your rules. He sounds like he is throwing a bit of a tantrum. Also funny that he is so concerned about his own so-called "embaressment" infront of this young woman but wasn't so concerned with the embarressment he was causing for his girlfriend, with whom is the mother of his child.
donnamaybe Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 Sounds like he was annoyed that you were interfering with his make out session. Anytime you interfere with someone's game it is likely that you will get a negative response, even if your intentions are good. What he does is his business, I would leave it at that. Then if he wants to do "his business," he can do it somewhere else and NOT at her house. Ick.
Recommended Posts