Nynnja Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 sorry for the long post... Okay. I'm a new poster, but i'm hoping to be around for a while. ANY criticism accepted. I dated my ex for 3 years.I literally did EVERYTHING imaginable for this girl. We always had our disagreements because i've always had strong morals towards drugs and alcohol, where she has always been raised able to do whatever she wants. A few times over the course of our relationship, she has went partying and doing god-knows-what with god-knows-who and lying to me about it. I proposed to her, and an hour after she accepted, she dumped me to get high with her "friends." We talked for a few weeks after, and got back together. Everything was perfect. We were in love (or so i thought). Around january, she wanted to take a "break" to just hang out with her friends and have fun. Said we weren't breaking up, and were definately going to be together and she wouldn't do anything with any other guys. We got back together 3 months later, to find out she slept with the one guy in this town that i can NOT stand to even think about because of the hatred i feel toward him. We finally worked past that, and she randomly decides to tell me she's moving to a different town to go back to school, and she can't date me if she never gets to see me (the town is only an hour away, and i was more than willing to drive it every day if i had to). More lies and deception was thrown my way during the next couple months, she decided she wasn't moving away, but she still didn't want to be with me and i was still love-stricken. She was the first girl i ever felt true, unending love for, and we had our future already planned out. I did everything anyone has ever been told NOT to do, to try and get her to come back, and made myself look like a complete psychopath to the point of no-contact whether i wanted it or not. About two months ago, i find out she has a new boyfriend and i'm devastated but i won't let her see that. Mid-August her grandmother who i deeply love and care about (i love all of her family like my own) was taken to the hospital for kidney failure, i went to visit and saw my ex there. I had ran this scenario a million times in my head, and i was fine with her dating a new guy. We chatted for a while and decided to be friends again. A few minutes later she is on the phone with him, telling him she loves him. Crushed again, how can she move from one love to another so quick? So i decided that was it, i'm living my life how i want. I started going out, having fun with old friends, it was to the point where i didn't even think about her and it was magnificent. Sunday night she texts me, telling me she dumped her new guy because he was "the most annoying person ever" and now she's trying to talk to me like a friend again. As soon as i start getting my life on track, and at the place i want it to be, she shows up just long enough like she's trying to say "hey, don't forget about me" and damn does it work. I'm beating myself up again (although not nearly as bad as right after the breakup) thinking how i can get her back and get the future that i had planned out back. But i really don't think i want that, nor do i deserve to be treated how she treated me. So what do i do? Why is she randomly popping back up like this? Why can't i just forget about it?
DJMarky Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 It's hard dude, but you have to forget about her. She sounds like a user, gets a guy, gets bored and wants what she can't have. She is just baiting you, making sure you don't forget about her (which has worked), just so she can string you along and using you when she feels like she needs some attention, but once she has enough from you she is satisfied you are hooked again, she will leave, which leaves you at the start. Don't let her keep ****ing you around, go strict NC (I mean ignoring calls, smses, block + delete on IM clients, facebook etc) and don't look back. It's hard but do you really want to be with someone who is that unpredictable? Think about yourself in the long-term and who you can see yourself marrying, and if you really think carefully it shouldn't be her. That's what I tell myself to prevent myself from ever contacting my ex.
Author Nynnja Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 I'm with you 100% on that. I know for a fact she's not who i want to be with, she just happens to be who i fell in love with, when she was a decent person. I tried ignoring, i tried deleting her, but her number is seared into my brain. I'm getting my cell number changed when my billing cycle restarts, so i won't have to hear from her again. I know what kind of girl i want to be with and it's not her. The only thing i don't understand is how can i still feel this love and "devotion" (for lack of a better word) toward her when i know full-well what she's doing and i see all the bad stuff she's done to me
Author Nynnja Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 Update: She messaged me this morning, talking about the local high-school football game this friday. I have yet to respond. Deleted her from myspace and facebook, deleted her number from my cell...now i'm moving on with my life. As much as i don't want to hurt her feelings (because i'm such a caring person) if she messages me again i'll just have to tell her that i can't be her friend regardless of the circumstance. I feel like i may have just had a moment of weakness yesterday, and I thank you for helping me see what needed to be done
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