V.Vixen Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 This guy I met online, but have maintained a platonic friendship via facebook with asked me to go to a concert with him on friday. He calls it a date. I am NOT attracted to him, and don't really want more than a friendship. I want to go to the concert, but it wouldn't be right if I went under the wrong pretenses, right? I have a feeling there will be hurt feelings on his part if I go and then don't go out with him romantically afterward. I find him funny, but I am not physically attracted to him, he complains about his job and is usually broke, and is just not someone I would want a romantic relationship. I should probably decline, right?
dreamergrl Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I would. Going would lead him into thinking there's something there, probably even if you clarify. Not everyone gets the hint
deux ex machina Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 Agreed. I think you're doing the right thing by not going, Vixen.
boogieboy Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 if you accept he will assume that you like him, not matter how many negative hints you give him. And when you decline you tell him that youre not interested in dating him, so he can leave you alone.
JustLooking123 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I agree that not going is probably best. However, if you DO decide to go, pay him for your ticket, and pay your share for any food/drink/etc. that night. Maybe even make comments about how he's a great FRIEND (nudge nudge) for inviting you. Needless to say, no flirting.
MeadowGlitter Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I agree that not going is probably best. However, if you DO decide to go, pay him for your ticket, and pay your share for any food/drink/etc. that night. Maybe even make comments about how he's a great FRIEND (nudge nudge) for inviting you. Needless to say, no flirting. That's a good idea BUT some guys are hard-headed. No matter how much you tell them you're not interested, many times you pay for your own food (drinks, tickets and such); they will still think there's a chance the girl is interested! Can't you go with your friends to this concert?
Left in a Lurch Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 If you go that's a mixed signal. If you were in his shoes and the guy agreed to go out with you and did, part of you would think it was your chance to make him fall for you. Guys are not always that hard headed, we're conditioned that we have to put forth effort and chase women and that women don't just come out right away and show explicit interest, and women send mixed signals. If you go with him, he will think there is a chance he can make you see him differently. You'd be giving him false hope.
bayouboi Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 Can't you go with your friends to this concert? That would require her to purchase the tickets. She may be as broke as he is.
carhill Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I should probably decline, right? Probably, but an alternative is possible. Be honest with him and, if you like him as a friend and you like the concert, tell him you can accept on that basis. Pay for your own ticket. This presumes you've had personal contact prior. If not, definitely decline. A concert is way too much contact for an unknown, IMO. IME, if women were clearer about their perspective when a man asks them out or wants to 'hang out', then fewer misunderstandings would happen and fewer feelings would be hurt, on both sides.
MSUE Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I would not accept the invite on a date basis...so 2 choices either you do not go or you let him know that you don't want to mislead him...in fact before this guy continues to get hi hopes up...I think you should let him know you are only after a friendship
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