Neverlearns79 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 Okay here's the backstory... I have been dating a 37 year old woman for the last 11 months. She had not been in a relationship (dating yes) for the previous 10. When we started going out everything was fantastic. We took trips together, we spent all kinds of time together and then reality kicked in. She was emotionally not there, and it isn't with just me... She is closed off to her family and her friends as well when it comes to sharing her feelings, and opening up. She never gave me verbal affirmation, and that's something I need in a relationship. Instead she told me my voice was to loud, or I'm not her expectation when it comes to looks, and that I embarassed her around her friends. All of her friends love me though, and she actually stopped talking to one of them when she found out that her friend thought I was attractive and funny etc. We started going to couples therapy, and she had a very hard time opening up. Eventually she started, and I began to understand her situation. We continued, but I still wasn't getting what I felt I needed out of this relationship. After hearing how great I was and how I was wasting my time from HER friends I decided to call things off. That's when she cameback... She emailed me this beautiful letter about all the support and great things I've done for her etc. Things that I didn't even know that she cared about. So we decided to start things slow, but that lasted two days because we love each other. At this point we played the stupid game of we aren't together we are working things out. We were though, we just never faced up to it. 2 weeks ago... Still having the inflated head from all the compliments from her friends, she and I decided to go out. I thought I was looking good, and when she didn't say anything I decided to be a brat. I picked a fight, she blew up and didn't want to talk to me for two weeks. It was seriously the hardest two weeks of my life. I kept NC, and fought through it. We saw each other Sunday and I told her that I wanted 30 days with her and we can reevaluate our relationship at that time. I told her that while I haven't changed, I have learned what I need to work on to better myself not only in the relationship but for me. She agreed on the 30 days... Sunday was awesome... I had everything I wanted again. She was loving, and sweet and understanding. Monday came and we had a great day... Until... She snapped at my while getting lost in a parking structure, I snapped back and it set the tone for the rest of the day. We still fought through it but I was so uneasy and afraid this would be it. She said after our fight... "Nothing has changed." So driving home that night I called her and very calmy told her I felt uneasy, and the gf that I was talking to now was not the gf I was dealing with Sunday and Monday afternoon. She kept telling me everything was fine, and I just wasn't at peace. I kept it going, and finally she blew up and said... "Its over, I can't do this anymore goodbye".... She hung up. I called her back and she told me to never contact her again. She then called me an immature liar, and told me I was acting like a high school boy. Then hung up again. Today we were supposed to start couples counseling again, but she told the counselor that she had to work late. I haven't contacted her... She must loathe me right now. Did I blow my second chance? Will she eventually cool off and talk to me? It's hard to live in my own skin right now thinking that I blew it. Any advice will help! Thanks!
Author Neverlearns79 Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 • She has not been in a relationship for the previous 10 years....
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