Veryconfused27 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 So I have been hanging out with this girl for about 2 weeks now, have had like five dates, all have been great. One night I slept over her house after one of the dates and we just hung out recently and we kissed and we told each other some personal stuff. We still have been talking and have made a lot of plans in the near future however I asked to hang out one night this week and she said she couldn't because she was going out with someone else, yes a man. I am confused. I felt like she cared for me like i care for her, but after she said she was going out with someone else, i was speechless. we have not told each other how we have felt, but i guess i thought you could tell since the sleeping over and the kissing and the continuing dates and hanging out. I am going to just play it cool and wait until she messages me if she ever does, but I just wanted some opinions about whats going on.
bluewolf17 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 WTF? Do you want to continue seeing her even though she obviously hasn't decided on you?
Enema Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I think dating two weeks is a little too soon to consider yourselves exclusive. She (and you) have every right to keep seeing other people until such time as you get more serious and have 'the talk'.
bluewolf17 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 Okay, I just re-read your post. I suppose it's normal that if you haven't had the discussion on if you are exclusive or not, then her seeing other people is fair game. My first response was personal because I wouldn't stay the night unless things were a little more wrapped up (ha!). But in your case I guess it's up to you if your okay with her still dating around. It sounds like your not seeing anyone else..and do you want to be exclusive? These factors are going to play into how to react from here on out.
compre11111 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I was in your shoes about 3 weeks ago, and I have the posts on this website to prove it. We had been dating for about 2 weeks and had reached the level of intimacy that it sounds like you reached. I wanted to ask her if she was dating others, but decided against it. As it turns out, she wasn't, and since then we've really taken it to a new level (physically and emotionally). If I discovered that she was dating somebody else NOW, I would flip. When you're sexually active and sleeping at her place every other night, that implies exclusivity -- at least in my book. But after only a few weeks and some kissing, it's tough to say. Me personally......I'd be upset. Even if you're just kissing and sleeping together non-sexually, that's the sort of behavior that should at least warrant some honesty regarding the rest of her dating life. And that's her decision.......it may be painful, but kissing doesn't demand exclusivity.
Author Veryconfused27 Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 Do you think I should wait until she contacts me and ask her whats going on between us? I am a little aggravated that she is going out with someone else, but I felt like I had no say since we just started hanging out not to long ago.
compre11111 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 This is just what I'd do, and I'm sure some will disagree. But I'd call her up sometime and ask her to go out on a given night. When you're out, you could casually ask how her other date went, but whatever you do, I wouldn't starting asking stuff like "where do you think we are?", or "do you like me more than him?". Just play it off as if it's obvious that you're the better catch, and enjoy yourself. It'll demonstrate confidence, and she'll like that. If you're really willing to do it, go out with her and say absolutely nothing about the other guy. She knows that you know, right? After all, she flat out told you she was going out with another guy. So if you play it off as if nothing happened, then she'll detect that confidence. I realize that it's far easier said than done to do this. If it were me, I'd be chewing off my fingernails trying to figure out what the hell is going on. The uncertainty is the absolute worst part of these situations, and I realize you just want to know. But you don't want to appear to push the issue too soon. I absolutely hate the prospect of "playing it cool" when you know she's seeing other guys. But if you show her that you respect her space and that you're willing to compete, then you stand a good chance to win out in the end. She might really prefer you, but at this stage, she's just not sure, so she's taking a second look. Give it a bit of time, and if things still go well between you two and she STILL dates other guys, then it's time to bring it up and get her on the record.
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