strugglingtocope Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Can it really be over? I had been with my boyfriend for two years when he suddenly out of the blue broke up with me last thursday. When we met each other I was still getting over an ex but the connection between us was so strong that we wanted to see where in time we could end up. We took it slow but two weeks after we met he moved away to university about an hour away but I would be staying in our city for medical school. We would just see how things went. The bond between us has been so so strong and although we had a few days 'on a break' this time last yr when he went back to uni, everything just seemed to perfect. We really complement each other and I've never been so happy. He makes me feel like I can do anything and living in different cities it means we can have our own lives as well and see each other maybe 3 times a month. We rarely fight and only want the best for each other. This summer after he finished his second yr he came back home and managed to get a job in the restaurant that I work in. It meant that our relationship has got very intense over the past couple of months. We have either been working together or spending time together on our days off. His family went away as well so we were house sitting together basically living like we would if we lived together. Then we went on a perfect holiday to the Caribbean for two weeks celebrating two years whilst we were there. Returning, his family went away again and we were left house sitting for two weeks. He has seemed just the same as normal. He would be excited about leaving work and asking what we were gonna do later giving no indication that he wasnt happy or needed space. I also have my own house so on the nights we didnt work the same shifts I would stay there and I myself am someone that needs a fair amount of personal space. Then I went to see my sister for 4 days and every time I spoke to him he sounded upset and said he missed me. I got back and things were normal. His birthday is today so we were planning things to do. On thursday he rang me in the morning to check that we were still going to a restaurant that I had planned to book... he sounded excited. A few hours later he rang excited because the playstation that I was getting him for his birthday had arrived and I told him that I would have to take it away and wrap it but he suddenly went really cold and said no I dont want you to do that. Weird I thought but you know boys and their toys so I said I'd be over in like an hour after doing some stuff at my house. About ten minutes after getting off the phone he rang and sounded really upset and said "I just dont want you to come over." Obviously I ignored him and went and he cried the whole time and kept trying to grab hold of me and hold me close or hold my hand. I was an absolute mess. His reasons were that he had realised that since returning from holiday 2 weeks before he had been thinking about how he didnt want to move back home after uni and knew that I would have to be there for at least 3 yrs after he had finished. He said it was because he didnt want to wait that long and stay being long distance and that its not because of me or the relationship but the situation. He also said that it had just got so intense and he felt like he was just too young (22) for the pressure and wanted to focus on his final yr at uni. Everyone I have spoken too seems as shocked as I was and said we seemed so perfect and on track and that there was no indication on anything being wrong. Ive text him a couple of times just to ask if we can meet before he went back to uni- he said we could be he was struggling too much to do it any time soon and then today when i have really fallen apart because its his birthday so I asked him if we could chat on the phone.... he said it would make him too upset. I just cant believe that this could be it after two such amazing years together all the way up to thursday. Even on the day he seemed fine. My friends think he sounds confused and think he might change his mind once he goes back to uni on saturday. Im praying thats the case but I was just wondering what other people think? Its just so hard because his main reason is distance which I cant change because Im not going to leave medical school to move to be with him. He has even talked about moving to the next city which is only half and hour away. Advice desperately needed. Should I give up hope of him changing his mind?
Broseph Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 wow this seems super confusing, even more confusing than I am feeling. Anyways, I do think there is hope but I would let him think it over. This seems very selfish move by him because you obviously seem rational enough to talk these things over with before pulling the trigger. Very odd move for a guy i must say. I hope things go well for you
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