deeplysaddened Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Long story short to catch things up. I love her deeply. We were friends for a year before dating and dated for several months before sleeping together and have been together for 2 years, just got an apartment 6 months ago. Since the apartment, I've suffered some personal tradegies and she's had some issues come up (past abuse in childhood). She became withdrawn and I became demanding, each setting each other further and further off. The last couple fights got kind of nasty to where I can acknowledge I was borderline emotionally abusive (nothing too extreme, no name-calling, but being very demanding and harsh). We'd made up several times with good results, but never broke the cycle. After a particularly bad fight last week, she said she needed space. I went to stay at a Fridays. Two days later, she broke it off, saying she couldn't meet my needs and had been struggling in the relationship for some time. I took it well, told her I respected her decision and still love her deeply. In the time since she broke it off, I really genuinely had a white-light experience of how my behaviors must have made her feel, as someone coming from her background, and how my behaviors may have much reflected previous abuse in her eyes. I'm deeply sorry and don't want it to end. I wrote a letter, owning to my mistakes, not pointing any blame, telling her she was beautiful and I hoped I hadn't caused permanent damage, but if so, I truly wish her the best. I didn't request a response or make any demands whatsoever. She'll probably receive it right around a week from the break-up. I'd been advised by friends to wait an extra week for her 'cool-down', but I didn't want her to cement her resentments and also I am under a timeframe before I have to get the furniture out of the apartment and get signed off the lease (all the furniture but the bed is mine and she really cant afford it without a roommate), so I wanted her to have time to absorb it before any permanent changes were made to my living situation. What do you guys think my chances are? How should I proceed and respond to possible outcomes? It's likely, she will not reply to the letter at all for several days or if at all. She may simply acknowledge that she received it and play it cool. Not sure. Could be that it's totally just done, but we did love each other very deeply. Do you guys see chance for reconciling it? Did I sent the apology to early? Any advise is helpful. It's driving me nuts waiting until I at least know the letter would reasonably be in the mailbox, let alone in her hands (she doesn't check it every single day).
RYKR Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 To tell you the truth she ain't coming back. She is gone for good, you see with females when they make a decision like that it's usually a permanent one. There is also no sense in pining over the letter because most likely she read it and will not reply to it. It's best for you start NC asap and stop hoping for something miraculous to happen because it won't. The quicker you start it and prolong NC, the faster you will heal. During NC, she might contact you in anyway to get a response. What ever you do not respond back because she wants her ego to fed and if you do you will feel like crap again. NC is a method to heal yourself and more on quicker.
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