DustySaltus Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Many of you know my story from the breaks and breaking up forum but here is a brief synopsis. I met my ex-fiance 10 years ago at a summer camp (I was 17, she was 21). We spoke a few times after the summer but she went back to Israel and I was in NY. Eight years go by and I reconnected with her and wound up visiting her in Israel. We went back and forth a few times and came up with a plan. We would live in Israel for a year and then come back to America. She liked the idea of making good money and trying new things. I asked her to marry me, she said yes...that was in March of this year. Well, it turns out SINCE MARCH she has been logging into my facebook and email accounts on a daily basis. She was quoting people I friended before and after we broke up...people that I'm not even friends with anymore, or maybe was for a day or so. I mean to be that detailed she was obviously doing for months AFTER I said that I would move there and asked her to marry me. Add to that the fact that after she kicked me out and didn't want to try and communicate she tried to get me fired from my old job that I managed to salvage when I came back. Here's a few other things: -Called my mom fake -Has told me that its over on numerous occasions, then calls or emails me and tells me she misses me and is confused. -Sends me old pictures of us, out of the blue after saying all of these nasty things to me. (i.e. you're a pathological liar, alcoholic, bad with money...which is a joke considering most of it was spent on plane tickets and a ring) The latest thing she has told me is to let go. Now if you read my old posts and even what I wrote about you are probably thinking to yourself, "why is this guy even in love with a woman like this"? This is something that I can't really explain. I believe we all come across people in our life where we just put up with things that we would NEVER put up with from anyone else. They can call us names, but we know that they don't mean it. We offer them help, I offered that we go to counseling...she wanted nothing to do with it. I was LIVING in her country, why was she still checking my emails and having trust issues? I'm so lost, my body feels empty. I have nothing left to give. It took me six months to get over an old X I has gone out with for 5 years. I broke it off, I knew we were just not for each other but with this one....who knows, a year? What's wrong with this woman, how come she didn't understand how much I loved her? Why did she play detective, she could've asked me anything she wanted. Why does she keep getting in contact with me if I don't respond to her in a week or two? What is she looking for?? I just wanted things to work out, that's all I wanted.
Anahata Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 She sounds unstable, possibly Borderline Personality Disorder http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a102.htm Cut contact, cut your losses, consider yourself lucky to have dodged a bullet, perhaps consider counseling to discover why you need to chase unstable untrusting unavailable people.
Author DustySaltus Posted September 8, 2009 Author Posted September 8, 2009 She sounds unstable, possibly Borderline Personality Disorder http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a102.htm Cut contact, cut your losses, consider yourself lucky to have dodged a bullet, perhaps consider counseling to discover why you need to chase unstable untrusting unavailable people. I've been going to a therapist for about six weeks now to help me get through this. I don't make a habit of chasing women like this, my track record has been pretty good. I just kind of got blinded by love and was thrown off my game. I thought I could help her get through her trust issues, that were present even before us..but it was to no avail.
quankanne Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 you cannot save someone who is not interested in saving themselves ... or interested in being saved. she treats you like this because she knows you will put up with it.
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