go_cards09 Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Hello all first off, let me say I'm new here, I'm 24 and I have very little experience with relationships, as I've never had a serious one. I'm pretty quiet and shy, and don't really put myself out there as much as I should. Anyway, I have been lurking for awhile, and all of the responses to the other threads are refreshingly honest and polite and seem pretty helpful for others, so I thought I give this a try. A couple months ago, I went on a camping trip with friends and met a guy who was also friends with everyone. We found out we lived pretty close and we started talking and ended up hanging out pretty much the entire weekend. We kissed a little, but it never went further than that. He gave me his number, and over the next few weeks, we saw each other a few times with friends where we would talk some more, but it didn't seem to be going anywhere so I stopped texting him (he would text back, but he had a few weekends in a row where he went out of town and he started a new job) Anyway, after a few weeks, I ended up seeing him again at a mutual friends party and over the next few weekends we would hang out in those group settings, nothing serious, but he'd always come find me and we'd talk for awhile, and he'd be kinda flirtatious in a physical sense (flipping my hair, poking me, generally just being goofy). There was even a night where one of his friends was talking to me and was like "You should date ___, you and him should get together, you're girlfriend material" and told me that ___ had been burned a few times and sometimes needed a push. I brushed it off and said he had my number and could text/ask me out. Over the next few weekends, we would hang out/flirt/etc again (he would text me and ask if I was going over to so and so's, etc). Well a week or so later, he called me and we went out to dinner, had a good time but he didn't kiss me goodnight. The next day, we met up in a group setting again for a friends party at a club. I let him seek me out to talk, he found me to dance and we seem to get along really well. We see each other every weekend; when we were out this past weekend, he was buying my drinks for me, made me lunch the next day (Cause I crashed at his house and we made out only a little bit) and invited me to come along with some of his friends that I didn't really know the next night. Bought lunch the next day for me after I went to church with him and our friends. We've never done anything but make out, and he's even told me that I'm a "good girl" and that that's a good thing (i'm not real big on rushing things, and am a virgin, which I suspect he may know but I'm not sure); for the past few times we've hung out, he hugs me goodbye with a kiss on the cheek. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing though. My instinct is telling me he's interested (but it could be wishful thinking), but I can't help but wonder why we don't hang out during the week. I know I should probably just man up and ask him but I don't want to freak him out and make him think I want a relationship like right now; I prefer taking it slow and letting things develop. I guess my question would be how to bring my concerns up without him thinking I'm needy, or mental lol. Or should I just drop it and get over it? I'm definitely not waiting around...I have a date on Wednesday with a guy I met a few weeks ago in a bar. I just rarely click with someone and actually like them like this, so I would hate to miss out on a opportunity cause I don't want to call him to hang out during the week because I'm the girl and feel the guy should call me or initiate everything. Am I just crazy? Cause it's a strong possibility lol.... If you read all of this and are willing to help, you're amazing btw...I know, I'm a bit long-winded....remember tho, I am a woman I appreciate any feedback you can give me....
sugarmomma Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 I think that you have clearly sent him the message that you're interested. I think you are doing the right thing by dating other people and moving forward with your life. Don't push any further to see him. Let him take the lead and you just follow it. That way it will be all his decision to move forward with the friendship. When a woman becomes aggressive it usually turns a man off, they like to do the pursuing but we don't let them. Let him do his job and court you. Now if he kisses you, you can ask about how he feels and go from there. In the meantime, you could meet a great guy and fall in love, then he's gonna miss out. Good Luck
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