xra Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 I met a guy a few days ago through a mutual friend, let's call him John. We all were going to an event with the mutual friend, so we all exchanged phone numbers. (We're all college students, by the way). The day after, John added me on Facebook and we started chatting on AIM. He casually invited me to meet up for dinner, I agreed, we grabbed some sandwiches and chatted for a while. The next day, he called me in the evening, apparently casually, asking how everything is going, etc.... And since, he's been calling or texting at least once a day, writing on my wall on FB, sending IMs, asking to meet up for dinner.... He is very interested in me, obviously. He's always trying to flirt, asks a lot about me and my life, trying to do out one-on-one for dinner, etc. He is a really nice guy (my friend has known him for a long time), but I'm pretty sure I just want to be friends. The problem is, he hasn't expressed romantic interest in me directly, so I can't exactly turn him down. I've been 'missing' most of his calls and texts so far, and 'being too busy for dinner', but he doesn't seem to get the message... I don't want to lead him on, but I don't want to be mean, either. I just feel like I have a new puppy around me lol...
looking4 green grass Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Guys don't take "hints" very well, they appear to have a "hint blocker" much like a pop up blocker. But one would think that he would get the hint if you didn't accept any more invitations to do stuff. I've always taken the direct route and stated that I wanted nothing more than friends. It works for me, they finally clue in.
Author xra Posted September 8, 2009 Author Posted September 8, 2009 But how do I keep refusing invitations without being rude or cold? They are always so casual, things that I would normally do with friends anyways (like dinner...) Do I just keep making excuses? That's going to be really obviously mean
joncolon4 Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 But how do I keep refusing invitations without being rude or cold? They are always so casual, things that I would normally do with friends anyways (like dinner...) Do I just keep making excuses? That's going to be really obviously mean well i'm a guy and if i was John i'd rather you tell me straightup. its faster, cleaner, and it gets to the point. if you enjoy his company you guys can still hangout though
boogieboy Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 But how do I keep refusing invitations without being rude or cold? They are always so casual, things that I would normally do with friends anyways (like dinner...) Do I just keep making excuses? That's going to be really obviously mean Theres no reason for you to feel guilty about telling him that you arent interested in hanging out with him. But if youre going to MAKE yourself feel guilty about it, you will just have to deal with the guilt. he will not take it as hard as you will. Hes a man, hes been rejected before, he can take it. Just tell him straight up that youre not interested in hanging out with him anymore.
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