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Posted

Sent her 5 emails.. probably not the smartest thing to do.

 

I have dates lined up next week.. would cancel them all for her.. shows she hasn't read my emails yet, so I'm not sure what that means.

 

Lordy, this sucks.

Posted
Sent her 5 emails.. probably not the smartest thing to do.

 

I have dates lined up next week.. would cancel them all for her.. shows she hasn't read my emails yet, so I'm not sure what that means.

 

Lordy, this sucks.

????????????????????

 

can you be a lil more detailed...have no clue what's going on here

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Posted

GF of 3 years broke up with me.. went to a new guy.. intuition said it was a rebound.. intuition was right.. she's single again.. meh

Posted

Are you really ready to date, is that fair to them if your not still hung up on your X?

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Posted

I would do anything at this point to get back with her.. other chicks don't interest me

Posted

I'm sorry but if you are still thinking about your ex this much 3 years after the breakup, to the point of tracking her down on match - you should get therapy. You should have moved on by now.

Just think - she broke up with you 3 years ago. This is saying she no longer wanted you in her life. She has moved on with her life and is out dating, and has dated someone else. That doesn't mean she still cared about you, the fact that it didn't work out, or that it was even a rebound. She broke up with you...so was that a rebound from someone else she dated before you?

 

She has moved on.

Writing her 5 emails isn't going to make her suddenly have feelings for you when she is the one who didn't feel them for you...that is the whole reason she broke up with you.

 

You need to, also.

Posted
I'm sorry but if you are still thinking about your ex this much 3 years after the breakup, to the point of tracking her down on match - you should get therapy. You should have moved on by now.

Just think - she broke up with you 3 years ago. This is saying she no longer wanted you in her life. She has moved on with her life and is out dating, and has dated someone else. That doesn't mean she still cared about you, the fact that it didn't work out, or that it was even a rebound. She broke up with you...so was that a rebound from someone else she dated before you?

 

She has moved on.

Writing her 5 emails isn't going to make her suddenly have feelings for you when she is the one who didn't feel them for you...that is the whole reason she broke up with you.

 

You need to, also.

 

they dated for 3 yrs - not that they broke up 3 yrs ago. You misunderstood.

Posted

OK but...he's been dumped. So...he needs to move on.

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Posted

Yeah, we've been officially broken up for only about 7 months.. last time we spoke was a little over 2 months ago.

 

And I shouldn't be dating, that is correct. This is not about me not having options or being desperate. I can be with other women, but when you have true love with someone it is rare, imo, and I refuse, as a person, to allow that to slip away.

 

I've taken the past couple months to truly relfect on things, and I've honestly figured out what I have done that lead to our relationship's demise.

 

I'm throwing caution to the wind and taking a chance.

Posted
OK but...he's been dumped. So...he needs to move on.

 

 

I'm glad this is so simple for some of us.

 

Either way, don't email her, man. Pull a houdini and vanish. You need to lick your wounds a bit and polish up before you can be unleashed upon the single world again.

Posted
I'm glad this is so simple for some of us.

 

Either way, don't email her, man. Pull a houdini and vanish. You need to lick your wounds a bit and polish up before you can be unleashed upon the single world again.

 

I agree with you.

 

JLT what are you doing searching for her on match? How is that going to make you feel any better? Yes, she may be single again after her "rebound" but at this point she STILL has not gotten in contact with you, threw you crumbs or said straight up, "I want you back". And that day may never come. I know how you are feeling, I really do but she has cut off all lines of communication with you, including her phone number.

 

JLT, You need to LET GO. You can't be involved with anyone else until you do that. Do you really want this to drag on for months, years maybe? You don't deserve that man. Please, just one day at a time...no more emails.

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Posted
I agree with you.

 

JLT what are you doing searching for her on match? How is that going to make you feel any better? Yes, she may be single again after her "rebound" but at this point she STILL has not gotten in contact with you, threw you crumbs or said straight up, "I want you back". And that day may never come. I know how you are feeling, I really do but she has cut off all lines of communication with you, including her phone number.

 

JLT, You need to LET GO. You can't be involved with anyone else until you do that. Do you really want this to drag on for months, years maybe? You don't deserve that man. Please, just one day at a time...no more emails.

 

I wasn't searching for her on match. I'm on there and her profile popped up.

 

I'm pretty much at the point where I don't dissolve when I think about my life without her, which is why I think now is when I should be attempting to reconcile. I won't be crushed if she refuses, but I really don't want to sit around wondering anymore. If anything, at least I'll gain some closure.

Posted
I wasn't searching for her on match. I'm on there and her profile popped up.

 

I'm pretty much at the point where I don't dissolve when I think about my life without her, which is why I think now is when I should be attempting to reconcile. I won't be crushed if she refuses, but I really don't want to sit around wondering anymore. If anything, at least I'll gain some closure.

 

Oh ok, that makes sense..my apologies.

 

My whole thing is that the ball is in her court now. I wouldn't pursue her unless she came back to you and really put in the time and effort to show you that she really wants to be with you.

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Posted
Oh ok, that makes sense..my apologies.

 

My whole thing is that the ball is in her court now. I wouldn't pursue her unless she came back to you and really put in the time and effort to show you that she really wants to be with you.

 

I totally understand what you mean, but with her it's a little different. She's very prideful and very stubborn, so she wouldn't want to come across as crawling back. I would have to make the effort.

Posted

That's ridiculous. I wouldn't EVER make any effort towards a person that couldn't do you the same, which is what a relationship is, it's effort. Don't give her what she kept from you.

Posted

JLT, as crazy as my X was, she did come back and apologize and for a while things seemed like they could turn around. Even though it was premature and eventually didn't work out anyway....the ball was in her court and I cutoff ALL contact with her.

Posted

You might have a shot if you were the dumper, but as the dumpee....you are trying to reconcile? Won't work.

Sounds like she just wasn't attracted to you or she would be contacting you instead of getting on Match.

This is saying "I'm more attracted to some other guy out there than this guy who I broke up with 7 months ago."

Posted
You might have a shot if you were the dumper, but as the dumpee....you are trying to reconcile? Won't work.

Sounds like she just wasn't attracted to you or she would be contacting you instead of getting on Match.

This is saying "I'm more attracted to some other guy out there than this guy who I broke up with 7 months ago."

Keep in mind we are dealing with human emotions with all this. The way you say things can sometimes have more significance than what you say. It simple terms, be a little more tender.

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Posted

She initiated sex with me the night before she broke up with me.. those are not the actions of someone not attracted to the other person.

 

On top of that, I have been out with plenty of beautiful women, so I am not at all worryong about myself in the looks department. I want this woman back from an emotional standpoint, not because I don't think I can't find someone that I was as attracted to.

 

Along with the poster above me, this isn't the best board to be bringing up something like looks as a means to justify the reasons behind a breakup. Comes across as trolling, if you ask me.

 

Oh, and I won't get into details, but me trying to connect with her again went about as bad as one could imagine. Won't get into details, but rest assured it burned all possible hope. I didn't call her new number, but it was closure, at least in some capacity.

 

It was, by a good margin, one of the most embarassing experiences of my life, and I am ashamed of myself for ever shedding a single tear over this person.

Posted

It has nothing to do with looks. There are straight guys out there who are not attracted to Kate Beckinsale. You can be hot as hell to lots of women, but if she isn't attracted, she isn't attracted.

Glad you're moving on.

Posted
Yeah, we've been officially broken up for only about 7 months.. last time we spoke was a little over 2 months ago.

 

And I shouldn't be dating, that is correct. This is not about me not having options or being desperate. I can be with other women, but when you have true love with someone it is rare, imo, and I refuse, as a person, to allow that to slip away.

 

I've taken the past couple months to truly relfect on things, and I've honestly figured out what I have done that lead to our relationship's demise.

 

I'm throwing caution to the wind and taking a chance.

 

Look, I know that no one is perfect and all and that we all make mistakes, but she left you for another man. Do you really think that is true love? Someone who leaves you for another man?

  • Author
Posted
Look, I know that no one is perfect and all and that we all make mistakes, but she left you for another man. Do you really think that is true love? Someone who leaves you for another man?

 

She didn't leave me for another man.. we were apart for about 7 months then she met someone else.

Posted

So, if it has been seven months and she has dated someone else, then why is it bothering you that she is on a dating site?

 

I did read correctly...EX? Doesn't ex mean that she is in the past? Whenever I read something on LS about "My ex...." then I wonder why someone is dwelling on an ex?

 

While I understand that it can be difficult to get over someone, shouldn't you be doing that?

 

And if you want to get back together with her...and you have seen what you did wrong, why do you think that this time will be different? Many people fallback in to the same patterns despite the best resolutions.

 

Three years with someone is a long time, but it sounds like it is over.

 

I think what you need to do is actually begin dating again. I know that is different than what has been said, but try dating for the fun of it without the idea that things will get serious. Right now it seems that you are focusing on the past and remembering the good things.

 

BTW, initiating sex before a breakup can simply be "goodbye sex." It does not mean that she is still carrying a torch for you.

Posted

If you've been apart seven months and then she met someone else, it's doubtful it was a rebound, rather something which didn't work out, just like your situation didn't work out.

 

Getting dumped sucks, particularly if you're not used to it, like apparently you're not. Actively excising her presence/image/aura from your life is the only way to heal. Maybe you'll reconnect later at another time in life. Right now is your time. Your life. She's irrelevant right now. Actively thinking like this will help you heal, along with NC.

 

BTW, initiating sex before a breakup can simply be "goodbye sex." It does not mean that she is still carrying a torch for you.

 

I call it the paperwork catching up with the decision. It's a confirmation of the feelings she already had. BTDT. It wasn't about the sex, for her. It was about confirmation.

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Posted

Well, our situation was a little different. Things were fine between us, and the day after Thanksgiving I got a DUI. She ended things because of that one incident.

 

She would say it was just the icing on the cake, but the truth of the matter is if that had never happened we would still be together and, most certainly, be engaged.

 

She took issue with the fact that when I bought my house money got a little tight, and I basically got caught up in what could only be described as a financial perfect storm.

 

I spoiled her a lot up until that point, so it was a lot of 'what have you done for me lately?' She would state that the issue wasn't money getting tight, but that I didn't do anything about it, but when you work 40 hours a week in a corporate environment, and your kid visits every other weekend, there isn't a whole lot you can do.

 

All I needed was some patience on her end while I found a better paying opportunity, which I've found.

 

She also didn't like the fact that I would cut loose a little maybe once a weekend with drinking. She grew up in a very sheltered environment.. I grew up in a fast-paced town.

 

She took issue with it a lot, and when I first broke up with her, then suggested getting back together, she asked that I cut back on it, which I did.

 

I went out with a friend the day after Thanksgiving, had 4 glasses of wine at dinner in a span of 2 1/2 hours. I felt myself falling asleep and decided to pull over and rest my eyes. Next thing I know there's a cop knocking on my window.

 

Every person I've spoken with about it has told me that anyone that truly loves you would've stuck by you.. I guess I just don't understand it.

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