Author EricaH329 Posted September 12, 2009 Author Posted September 12, 2009 I broke up with him. It's really odd, I go in and out of depression. Or what feels like depression. I got the chance to go out last night, and I had a great time. I'm also going out tonight, and very much looking forward to it. It's in between that I get sad. I try not to think about it too much though.
northstar1 Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 I know it's gotta be tough Erica, and I'm actually proud that you made the decision here. I think that ultimately, this will be good for you, and a weight lifted off your shoulders. Relationships shouldn't be constant worry and push/pull. Life is too short for that.
craig841 Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 I feel you made the right choice too. For your own good What was he like when it happened...did you have to hammer it home because he said 'Relax baby we're getting married' again or did it come as a shock to him?
Author EricaH329 Posted September 12, 2009 Author Posted September 12, 2009 I know it's gotta be tough Erica, and I'm actually proud that you made the decision here. I think that ultimately, this will be good for you, and a weight lifted off your shoulders. Relationships shouldn't be constant worry and push/pull. Life is too short for that. At times I feel very relieved, which is a good sign. I really appreciate all the advice that you and everyone else has given me. I finally opened up and told a couple of my friends what was going on, and they all said the same exact things you all did. It's not going to be easy. But this forum will make it a little bit easier, and that's more than I can ask for I feel you made the right choice too. For your own good What was he like when it happened...did you have to hammer it home because he said 'Relax baby we're getting married' again or did it come as a shock to him? Thank you! He had some very mean things to say, before I broke up with him we argued about our relationship. The first time we broke up, I decided to move states away. I had a pretty good job lined up for me, and a lot of friends to help out with whatever I needed, but when we got back together again he didn't want me moving there, so I didn't. He went as low as to ask me if that opportunity was still available to me, and if so, he wanted me to go ahead and move on with my life. After all was said and done, all he had left to say was "Ok". I know that's not the end of it though. I give it until the end of the weekend before he writes me an e-mail. Probably a mean one. I'm preparing myself for it.
2sunny Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 you could block him... the only thing communicating with him is going to bring is his manipulation of your mind moving forward. he will either: a) be mean and nasty or; b) be manipulative with loving words to get you back neither choice is ideal if you are to move forward in a healthy way - consider blocking his communication with you. go have fun - live life... even if you don't feel like it - especially if you don't feel like it.
Author EricaH329 Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 you could block him... the only thing communicating with him is going to bring is his manipulation of your mind moving forward. he will either: a) be mean and nasty or; b) be manipulative with loving words to get you back neither choice is ideal if you are to move forward in a healthy way - consider blocking his communication with you. go have fun - live life... even if you don't feel like it - especially if you don't feel like it. Yeah I did block him. It doesn't stop me from checking on him though. It doesn't make sense... i'm in so much pain, and yet I continue to make it worse by seeing what he is doing. I am my own worst enemy. It's the worst! I was seriously considering erasing all of my profiles on social networking sites, due to the lack of self restraint, but I figured that really wouldn't be fair to myself. I keep in touch with a lot of good friends through those sites. I went out last night, and didn't have as much fun as I did the night before. I tried to make it seem as though everything was alright and I was having a good time, in hopes that maybe I could trick myself into believing it... but to no avail. I'm considering seeking therapy. My mom has been encouraging me to do that for the past few months now. My anxiety has gotten to the point where it's becoming unhealthy for me. I sleep for a few hours every night, and I sleep lightly. I'm not eating, and not because I don't feel like it, but because i'm just not hungry -- which is, in turn, making me lose even more weight, and i'm already under weight. I lack the motivation to do anything. I have to force myself to do anything. I just feel terrible. No one has ever brought me to this point before. I'm miserable!
Calendula Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 It sounds like you need to find a way to get closure with this man. To figure out a way for you to come to terms with your own decision and to make sure that he knows you aren't about to change your mind regardless of what he may say or do (mean or nice). Perhaps you should write an e-mail first, before he can send you something. Then your break-up and how you feel will be down in writing - like a contract. It doesn't have to be nasty, but it would have to lay out the details of WHY, if only for your own sanity and so he knows you've really thought about it and mean it. He may not even read it, but it will exist, and by writing it you will hopefully become more certain in your resolve to make the break-up stick this time and move on. You have to find your balance point again, on your own. I know that isn't an easy thing to do, but you can do it. I would say leave your social networking profiles up. He doesn't have to know you are checking up on what he is doing and you can guage your degree of healing based on how much time/ how frequently you feel the urge to check up on him. It could also help you remember why you finally did it - say he picks up a girl in the next week or starts setting up dates with the 'old friend' he's been talking with - how would it make you feel? You'll get through this. You're too strong for him to be able to make you feel this miserable for long. Even if you don't truly feel this right now, keep telling yourself this and eventually it will become true. You will be OK.
Recommended Posts