Hkizzle Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 Ladies, what are your views on chasing men? Just about any dating coach will advise not to chase men, because men love the chase, and by chasing a guy the woman will significantly lower her value in his eyes. It's not a sexist thing, it's just a biological thing and to do with male psychology. Chasing a man can get you a date, but the man is much more likely to lose interest later. Flirting is the most effective way to get a man. So do you chase and why?
loveslife Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 There have been about 10 gazillion threads on this subject, a few very recently. Do a search.
Author Hkizzle Posted September 7, 2009 Author Posted September 7, 2009 Ok thanks, the threads I found were all from last year actually so that's probably why I missed them.
You'reasian Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 because men love the chase, and by chasing a guy the woman will significantly lower her value in his eyes. It's not a sexist thing, it's just a biological thing and to do with male psychology. Chasing a man can get you a date, but the man is much more likely to lose interest later. Flirting is the most effective way to get a man. So do you chase and why? As a man, I don't chase. I could care less about using others to get thrills - yeah, I know it makes me more boring to women
Author Hkizzle Posted September 7, 2009 Author Posted September 7, 2009 As a man' date=' I don't chase. I could care less about using others to get thrills - yeah, I know it makes me more boring to women [/quote'] Define what you mean by chase. You mean you don't even initiate or ask a girl out on a date and she asks? That's what I meant, but after the first date it should be two sided.
You'reasian Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 Define what you mean by chase. You mean you don't even initiate or ask a girl out on a date and she asks? That's what I meant, but after the first date it should be two sided. I'll initiate. If she doesn't respond, that in itself is a response. I'm not going to try harder or try again. What I've found is that women who respond well and readily are usually interested. When they don't respond, they aren't.
Author Hkizzle Posted September 7, 2009 Author Posted September 7, 2009 I'll initiate. If she doesn't respond, that in itself is a response. I'm not going to try harder or try again. What I've found is that women who respond well and readily are usually interested. When they don't respond, they aren't. Sounds like me too. I don't think women should even initiate. They should flirt but if the guy isn't initiating he's not interested or too chicken. Either way it's a bad start.
Lizzie60 Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 I disagree... I think women should initiate more... that way.. if the guy is shy (which is NOT necessarily a bad thing)... they could find the love of their life. There is chasing and there is chasing.. I have never 'chase' a man.. but I did initiate a few times.. and successfully.. one of them I spent 5 years common-law (my last ex).. I think MOST men do like a woman who is confident enough to initiate... I've heard that some men think it's sexy.. they like that..
caramel c Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 I've said before and I will again, it's a man's place to pursue me. Everybody else can do whatever they want, but that is what I prefer. Of course I respond to his advances positively if I am interested. Flirting is fun and recommended. But, I would not ask a guy for his number or call him and ask him to go out with me. I've never had to do that in my entire life and the only thing I am missing out on is the guys I don't want to date, and that is good.
Woggle Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Most women are not attracted to a man unless she is chasing him. She has to want him more than he wants her or else she falls out of love. As for men chasing women I don't put much effort into getting a woman to like to me. Either she does or she doesn't.
Island Girl Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 My part of "the chase" is to flirt, show signs of interest, and let him know - not blatantly of course - that I am receptive to him chasing me I.E. asking for my number or a date. Eye contact - smiling - body language, etc. all can show him that I am wanting to find out more about him.
CaliGuy Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 As a man, I don't "chase" either. I show interest and if she doesn't reciprocate then -- NEXT!!! At my age, the last thing I'm into is games.
monkey00 Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Most women are not attracted to a man unless she is chasing him. She has to want him more than he wants her or else she falls out of love. As for men chasing women I don't put much effort into getting a woman to like to me. Either she does or she doesn't. I agree. Most of the positive experiences I've had with women were with the ones that gave me their # first and/or did the initial chasing. Honestly I can't quite say I've had the same luck with women that I've pursued/chased. Either a woman is into me or not, if there's no reciprocation then it's an obvious for me to move on.
Isolde Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Most of the positive experiences I've had with women were with the ones that gave me their # first and/or did the initial chasing. Honestly I can't quite say I've had the same luck with women that I've pursued/chased. That's just what women tend to say.
eiithan Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 So far my conclusion on "who asks whom out" is that it really depends on the person. Asking a person out means you are risking the possibility of rejection. It takes courage and a strong heart. If you can take the risk, the chance to possibly embarrass yourself and be heartbroken, strong enough to recover and not to give up, then you have it. In our society, men have been encouraged to practise this for a long time. Women haven't been. I have many friends who would be confident at different challenges, yet when it comes to wo/men they cannot bring themselves to ask the person of their interest out. I personally like to ask men out if I were interested. If there is a mutual attraction, it is great. If there is not, as long as he can man up and tell me he is not interested, instead of playing games, that is cool too. Having a healthy take on rejection is important when it comes to dating. I have seen some men who got intimidated by me. That used to hurt my feelings, but I got over it. I instead think it is a good indicator for compatibilities. To my view, men who are comfortable with women's initiation are self-confident and sexy.
Trialbyfire Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Nope, I don't ask men out. The closest to that was with my fiance, having friends invite him to an open NYE party. Instead of just accepting, he asked for my number from them and called me, to...take over...
Island Girl Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Nope, I don't ask men out. The closest to that was with my fiance, having friends invite him to an open NYE party. Instead of just accepting, he asked for my number from them and called me, to...take over... :lmao: Too true TBF. We are kindred spirits you know!
Trialbyfire Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 :lmao: Too true TBF. We are kindred spirits you know!I totally agree!
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