bayouboi Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Yes, I do need to lose some weight. Everyone is shaped differently too, so you can't really compare one size 14 to another. It is the same waist size, but the rest of the weight can be held differently on some people. A lot of my weight sits on my hips and breasts, whereas someone else might carry it in the stomach. I think that has an affect on appearance too. I am overweight and need to change it, but I am at least thankful that the extra padding sits in visually appealing places! I looked at your profile pic and though it's hard to see your body in it, you don't appear to be extremely overweight as these people seem to be implying. I get what you're saying about the weight being in the right places, though.
Author amymarieca Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 And as an extremely small sample of the male population, I've told you what it comes across to me as a male coming from a woman ^_^ Fair enough.
Author amymarieca Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 I looked at your profile pic and though it's hard to see your body in it, you don't appear to be extremely overweight as these people seem to be implying. I get what you're saying about the weight being in the right places, though. It is hard to see my body, so I will post a different picture.
bayouboi Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 It is hard to see my body, so I will post a different picture. Hmm...I'm beginning to like where this is going
Author amymarieca Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 Hmm...I'm beginning to like where this is going I assume you mean that in a perverted sort of way! I am the one in black by the way.
bayouboi Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I assume you mean that in a perverted sort of way! I am the one in black by the way. haha yeah, it's still too difficult to tell with all those clothes in the way
Author amymarieca Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 haha yeah, it's still too difficult to tell with all those clothes in the way :lmao:
bayouboi Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Alright and now for the serious response. You've said that you've been through a number of men now so I don't think it's your physical appearance that's hindering you or you wouldn't have had all those chances to begin with because let's face it, for most guys it's the physical attraction that gets us interested in the first place. Maybe as an experiment you could try dropping the "strong, independent, successful" bit and play the role of a traditional woman just to see if anything changes. My current gf is the "strong, independent, successful" type but I find myself the most attracted to her when she wears a dress or needs me to open a jar for her.
Author amymarieca Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 Alright and now for the serious response. You've said that you've been through a number of men now so I don't think it's your physical appearance that's hindering you or you wouldn't have had all those chances to begin with because let's face it, for most guys it's the physical attraction that gets us interested in the first place. Maybe as an experiment you could try dropping the "strong, independent, successful" bit and play the role of a traditional woman just to see if anything changes. My current gf is the "strong, independent, successful" type but I find myself the most attracted to her when she wears a dress or needs me to open a jar for her. LOL...I don't actually tell men that, but it is all about attitude I guess. I can try to act like the traditional woman to score a guy, but what happens then when my true colours come out?
bayouboi Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 LOL...I don't actually tell men that, but it is all about attitude I guess. I can try to act like the traditional woman to score a guy, but what happens then when my true colours come out? Oh don't worry, most women do whatever it takes to 'score a guy' and then reveal their true inner beasts once the 'i dos' have been exchanged.
Author amymarieca Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 Oh don't worry, most women do whatever it takes to 'score a guy' and then reveal their true inner beasts once the 'i dos' have been exchanged. So true!
Hkizzle Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Hmm, thread still going on? Look, I don't think the guys are losing interest because of your looks, otherwise they wouldn't have gone on the date in the first place. You're either showing insecurity and nervousness or not being interesting enough on the date. How good are you at making a conversation interesting? Are you able to expand a conversation so it's not just small talk, or talking about what happened today, what they like, but expand to creative topics?
Curious-One Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 I think its important where you meet the guys. IF you are meeting guys in clubs or bars they are more likely to be looking for sex and once they get it they want to leave. Thats the only thing i can think of.
Rebellious Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 It’s impossible to know the problem without test-driving you How many lbs is size 16? Do they lose interest before or after sex? 10-15 guys is not that many, I go through many more chix to find a good one
carhill Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 OP, my stbx is built like you. Quite attractive, physically. Now that I'm healthy, I understand exactly the dynamic which occurred for us. I didn't see (due to my own inadequacies) her personality being incompatible. Part of that was her masking, as others have suggested regarding the 'dating face' and part of it was willing blindness on my part. Where I don't have substantial history and involvement with a woman (like friends), if I meet someone like that now, I might be attracted to them physically and we might share some chemistry, but once I get a whiff of those familiar unhealthy (for me) personality characteristics, I'm gone; disconnected; over and out. It's always been that way for women and I'm sure true for you, as a basis of the selection process you use to choose amongst those men who ask you out. The 'confident', 'over-opinionated' (tip: don't believe for a second that those are necessarily related) men may like your breasts and hips but are turned off by your personality and have the experience to sense it right away and get out. My first instinct, reading your OP, was that it is a personality issue. In no way does this mean your personality is unhealthy. It simply means you have to choose men (since you don't pursue) who are compatible with that personality. It is a numbers game. Good luck!
Lizzie60 Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Hmm, thread still going on? Look, I don't think the guys are losing interest because of your looks, otherwise they wouldn't have gone on the date in the first place. You're either showing insecurity and nervousness or not being interesting enough on the date. How good are you at making a conversation interesting? Are you able to expand a conversation so it's not just small talk, or talking about what happened today, what they like, but expand to creative topics? Amy.. I agree with this (bold) it's not your looks, unless you met them from the Internet and only sent them a 'head shot' pic... Methink it's more about your personality or 'bad breath' or something like that.
Adri Ana Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 Amymarieca, I think it`s not Your problem, but those guys` problem to lose an interest in you Just change your dating priorities , choose with more caution . You seem to be a really thoughtful and a very interesting person . Best of luck to you !
You'reasian Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 It has nothing to do w/ intimidation. If a guy is attracted to you and really into you, he won't let intimidation get in the way The men lose interest in her because there are other women that they are dating who they like more. It's just as simple as that. And maybe the women whom he is interested in are interested in him back and even return his phone calls - the basics take you far
MissJoness Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 And maybe the women whom he is interested in are interested in him back and even return his phone calls - the basics take you far That has nothing to do with keeping a person's interest. They can just avoid your phone calls if they lose interest.
rob73 Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 keep looking do not get down about it;)..Trying to find the right person is fun but it can also be a pain in the a**.. dont give up!!!
DidiLU Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 "I suggest you get a book called, why he didn't call you back. Explains some of the mistakes women make, and you might find you fit into one of the examples" I'm curious, women should get books to sort out men, what we're doing wrong i.e talking too much or too less, not enough of this or that, too loud or too quite, being reserved or being aggressive. Do men get books on how not to screw up women? Because I know enough men who seem to think there **** don't stink and that ignoring a woman until he's ready is A-OK. Sorry small vent.
aystro Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 (English not my first language so mind the mistakes ) Well it's pretty much like this from my point of view. As a male I can honestly say, lot's of guys are bastards. So for the first date: scenario 1 " Let's see how this is going. I will take her our. She has nice cleavage. And uhm she doesn't look incredibly pretty so maybe something is going to happen on the first date. That would be great and easy." " If nothing WILL happen, then I will move on obviously. I'm not stupid... " or scenario 2 " She is attractive. Let's see if she is fun to be with." Date 1 : the man didn't collect enough data to make a proper judgement. Date 2 (if there is one) : he is in doubt whether it's going to work out Date 3 (if there is one) : final decision made after this, if this is the last date, then he either gives it a "last shot" or just wants a 'reward' ( ...... ). It's all about the personality really. Like other people said, if he did ask you out then he MUST be attracted to you at least physically. Afterwords it all comes down to your character. I would like to point out that only an idiot will not have an other date with a woman because of her breath or some other silly issue. And if you are genuinely fun. Then he WILL call you back for more. The good part is 'fun' is subjective. So yes you can be unlucky. Which means I disagree with what people are saying here to you. It's not your fault. You just happen not to match. Best thing you could do, which is not easy, but.. you could try contacting the men that didn't call you and ask them about the issues. And you would need to do your best. Because even they would be reluctant to speak out the facts.
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