gordon_gc Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 Well, I guess I should have checked my internet a bit more before going forward. For those who are new to my post. My gf wanted a break. During that time, I was in such an emotional limbo that I decided to meet and breakup once and for all. Simply because I thought she was playing with me and didn't care about my feelings, ect... Anyway, I got to see her. I know some of you will say it wasnt the right thing to do but this is what my heart told me to. Actually, she also wanted to meet to talk a bit more of our situation. I was seriously planning on announcing the breakup while putting forward the fact that I was also here if she wanted to. Indeed, our issues are not hard to read into but almost impossible to solve. She is scared of the relationship because she sees no future in it. I'm Jewish, She is Muslim. Her parents would never accept me and she cares too much about not hurting her mum in particular. It's naive for me to say this but I always thought the people who care for you will always accept the choices you make. Well, in that case, it seems like the IMPOSSIBLE choice to make. That explained the break last week. The friends she was with really got to her and made her realised going further will only hurt her, me and her environement to a greater extend if we kept going. I told her I could not promise a conversion but could work toward knowing more about her background and her knowing my background but none of us really wanna hold the burden of a conversion down the line even tho, we both know it's the only thing that could possibly keep us together a bit longer. She loves (or like me) as I'm and she knows a conversion will change me into something else she is not sure she'll like and vice versa. She also knows she will change in a few years and commit a bit more to her religion and this again, she is not sure I will like and vice versa. It's soooo hard to think we get along so well but because of religions (which both don't really care about and don't practice on daily basis), we'll never be able to be happy together. I purposely didn't write "be able to live together" because I know it can happen but "being happy with her" will require way much more energy to put into our relationship and extra energy trying to seek approval from everyone elses. I'm so desperate for a solution but perfectly know there are none. I feel powerless and it hurts so much. :-( Please, i don't think i'm even looking at any questions being answered anymore, I just want comfort really. Thanks.
Ronni_W Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 BIG hugs, Gordon. It saddens me so much, to read of this situation. The er, 'circumstances' surrounding you two not being able to see a "happily ever after" scenario...that just saddens me. Hugs.
Author gordon_gc Posted September 8, 2009 Author Posted September 8, 2009 well, These kind of experiences seriously make me wonder about religions and the social environement we live in. Religion is totally bringing us apart... Social Environement, well, even though we know we are the only one who should dictate our lifes, it will always be around to give you lesson on how you should live, what you should do or say (or who you should date). The best I can do right now is just trying to spend one more week with her enjoying every single moments. It just feels so weird knowing the time we will cease being together, i guess it's like knowing the day you will die. Well, at least, we are making the most out of it. :-(
Author gordon_gc Posted September 8, 2009 Author Posted September 8, 2009 btw, thanks ronni....really appreciate your support ! :-) :-(
Trojan John Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 I went through a very similar thing with a girl while at university. It was her mum and her religion. As much as I wanted to scream, "what do YOU want!", I had to respect her decision and move on. Sorry for you, m8.
Author gordon_gc Posted September 13, 2009 Author Posted September 13, 2009 well, that's it. My girl has gone back home for a holiday. Following that day we were supposed to break up, we finally decided to live one more week as a couple before she would head back home. I'm happy we did this. I gave my best, truly enjoyed my time with her. All I pretty much wanted is to end this relationship with nice memories of us together. So anyway, she is back home and I still wonder if I will see her when she'll be back in 2 weeks. Deep inside, I know it's not the best thing to do and I know these next 2 weeks will be challenging. I'm gonna have to be strong but I'm so anxious and scared when I think it's over. :-(
wannie9 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I'm sorry, Gordon. Yes, why does religion do that to us? It happened recently to a good friend of mine who was dating a Muslim guy. She's a Christian, so his parents wouldn't hear of it. Her parents wouldn't either. Sigh..... the sad part is, as much as we do grow up and become independent, we still keep most of the principles and beleifs we were raised with, and never want to disappoint our parents. I'm so sorry that you're in such a situation...
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