Notsogood Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 Been broken up for 3 months now with ex of 5.5 years. I have been NC for 5 weeks now other than last sunday when i was talking to her brother on IM and she IMed me and facebook after - nothing serious, just a short casual chat. I have been doing pretty well, i think, although I still think about her every moment of the day. She's the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep. Even my dreams have been about her pretty much every night. I can't seem to let go but at least I'm not in the panicky state I was initially in - now I just feel this heavy sadness all the time. For the last few days, I have been feeling more down than usual and I can't seem to get myself out of this hole. I know most people will say that this is natural and time will heal, but I don't know if this will ever end. Every inch I try to crawl out of this hole, I slip a foot further down. Is this normal? I know 3 months is not a long time considering the length of my relationship but I don't know if I can handle this for even another 3 months.
Ronni_W Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 Hugs, Notso. IMO, there is no "normal" or "abnormal" when it comes to matters of the (broken) heart...it just is a very personal/unique experience. That said, have you considered using a counselor/therapist who specializes in loss/grief/separation, to help you put into place some coping strategies that will, hopefully, get you to the 'next phase' (whatever that may be for you)?
adamt Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 notsogood, what are you doing to keep yourself busy and take your mind of the ex? I blocked my ex on facebook and msn. I got into the gym and took up other hobbies like biking,hiking, learn to snow board, play some golf,swim. catch up with old friends. you say you are having dreams about her and think of her last thing at night. Try reading a book loast thing at night. It will help. I am 3 months down the line, but still have up and down days. But i keep myself busy and got back in control of my life. Focusing on myself rather than the ex. Tire myself out physically so i sleep better. for the first two month i could not sleep until 1:3am and wake up at 5:30am. mysleeping is back to normal. Eat super healthy with some physical exercise and you will get toned and lose weight and give you some self confidence
Author Notsogood Posted September 8, 2009 Author Posted September 8, 2009 notsogood, what are you doing to keep yourself busy and take your mind of the ex? I blocked my ex on facebook and msn. I got into the gym and took up other hobbies like biking,hiking, learn to snow board, play some golf,swim. catch up with old friends. you say you are having dreams about her and think of her last thing at night. Try reading a book loast thing at night. It will help. I am 3 months down the line, but still have up and down days. But i keep myself busy and got back in control of my life. Focusing on myself rather than the ex. Tire myself out physically so i sleep better. for the first two month i could not sleep until 1:3am and wake up at 5:30am. mysleeping is back to normal. Eat super healthy with some physical exercise and you will get toned and lose weight and give you some self confidence I have done plenty of things to keep myself busy, and i'm pretty much occupied 24/7. Starting reading novels again, I walk 4kms home from work nearly everyday, do another 10kms on the exercise bike and started working out at home as well. On the weekends, I have been playing golf pretty much every weekend and going out to the clubs and bars with friends. Nothing seems to really help. Although I am better at hiding my emotions now i'm still a wreck inside. I just can't seem to feel happy anymore, the only time when I don't feel down is when I've been drinking, but I just end up even worse the day after.
GrayClouds Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 only time when I don't feel down is when I've been drinking, but I just end up even worse the day after. amen brother, specially worst the next day part. Weekends are always difficult and this one being a long one does not help. It is strange how the dumbest things get to you. I tried to be productive and clean the house for some reason it made me incredibility sad.
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