misscuddle Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 I am 22 and the guy I am with is going through a divorce with his wife of 7 years. He is 27 and his wife has been cheating on him with his best friends while he gets stationed at different military bases. 2 years ago they seperated and ever since he met me it was for sure a divorce. Well 3 months after meeting me he gets stationed at another base for a year and this past year we have gotten closer and closer. He has the papers for the divorce but I guess is planning on getting it all signed when he comes back in 2 weeks, (probably wants to do it face to face). He doesn't really havea plan for anything, he is last minute type of guy, plus he doesn't know what to do in this situation. Her cheating on him caught him off guard. Real quick to have more understanding of his side is, that she is his first love and thought she was the real deal. She changed and was not the girl he married and now he is going through a emotional divorce while being used by her til this day. (She is from England, so she has a green card, whatever, I don't know) Anyways, he has a big heart and still cares for her as a friend, and he can't just kick her to the curb, because he still wants good things for her, even though she cheated on him several times and is using him. She is using him in the way of living in his house for free, the car she drives he probably pays for, (but I don't know), I think that might be it, nit a 100% sure though. I just don't know how to cope, he is the best man ever, he has a great personality, he is handsome, makes me weak at the knees, makes my heart race. I am in love with this man. I just don't know how to cope with all of this. My emotions are so frazzled I don't know what to think anymore. Any adivice or just someone to talk to, to get things out of my system. I just don't see how it is very fair to me, but maybe I need to have more patience right now, I don't know. Any advice on patience would be great too. ???????
soheartbroken Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 I would definitely post this on the LS separation and divorce forum. There are a lot of men going through divorce on there. New relationships started during the divorce process are very shaky. Proceed VERY carefully. He's not over his wife. You are a rebound right now. Not to say that a rebound could never work but....is he making any changes to himself? Does he blame her solely or does he accept some responsibility for the downfall of the marriage (perhaps he did nothing wrong, but that is unlikely)? You could end up with a really great guy, as a lot of the men on the S&D forum are making great personal strides and have grown as people, and have so much more to bring to a new relationship. But please be cautious. Perhaps you can explain in more detail these emotions that you are feeling. Is it jealousy or something? Again, I would highly suggest moving this thread, and specifically asking some of the men in the S&D forum for some perspective on what your guy is going through.
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