bac Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I am dating men casually. I want to have several dates to get to know a man before I decide if I would like to have sex with him. My question is about the first dates before having sex. What is a regular casual date look like? What are men's expectations about where should we go? Any examples? Do men expect that we go to many places at one date like first coffee, then dinner, then walking? How many hrs does a regular date last from men's point of view?(In average)
dreamergrl Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Bac - I seriously think you are over thinking about these dates. Just go with the flow. You're stressing over it will appear in your body language and turn a guy off.
sally4sara Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I am dating men casually. I want to have several dates to get to know a man before I decide if I would like to have sex with him. My question is about the first dates before having sex. What is a regular casual date look like? What are men's expectations about where should we go? Any examples? Do men expect that we go to many places at one date like first coffee, then dinner, then walking? How many hrs does a regular date last from men's point of view?(In average) Playing a game or two of pool (unless you're awful) Batting cage Tapas and drinks Bookstores can be fun. There is one back home that is an old Victorian house with 24 rooms of floor to ceiling books all twisted together like a library maze. Fabulous for first dates. 3 hours is a good amount, if things are going well it can last longer. Less than 3 and it ends up feeling more like a job interview. Try to keep it at two locations or less.
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 3 hours is a good amount, if things are going well it can last longer. Less than 3 and it ends up feeling more like a job interview. Try to keep it at two locations or less. Heehee...that's true - I never thought of it that way. Most recent "first date," we went out to a late lunch, then went on a long walk to the park from there. Sat in the park and talked for HOURS until he asked me if I was hungry and invited me to dinner. LOL The whole date was probably 6 hours. I think the best dates are ones that just go with the flow - no need to over-plan. We didn't have the plans ahead of time to go walk...we just went outside to our cars and neither of us wanted to leave, yet.
Author bac Posted September 7, 2009 Author Posted September 7, 2009 A long date is a serious problem to me. The longer it lasts, the worse the outcome. I am in 40s and I am not strong enough physically to communicate with a stranger for hrs. It is like a hard job which I can not handle because I get tired, stressed and depressed. I can handle that well only if it is for a short time like 2 hrs or so. If it is longer, I feel like all my energy is completely drained. All next day after that, I feel fatigued and sick. But, men in 40s are so strong and energetic. They may communicate for many hrs with ease.
You'reasian Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 What is a regular casual date look like? What are men's expectations about where should we go? Any examples? Do men expect that we go to many places at one date like first coffee, then dinner, then walking? How many hrs does a regular date last from men's point of view?(In average) A regular, casual date is usually at a common, public place where the two of you can meet and talk. You can meet for coffee, at a restaraunt, at a park, at an event, on the beach, in a club etc. Where the man wants to go depents on his location, interests, budget etc. He may want to take you to an interesting restaraunt that he likes (or maybe has never been to) and then maybe an event afterwards - maybe a concert? A regular date can be as short as one hour (usually not a good sign) to several hours - I've been on dates with women that lasted all day - where did the time go? lol
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 A long date is a serious problem to me. The longer it lasts, the worse the outcome. I am in 40s and I am not strong enough physically to communicate with a stranger for hrs. It is like a hard job which I can not handle because I get tired, stressed and depressed. I can handle that well only if it is for a short time like 2 hrs or so. If it is longer, I feel like all my energy is completely drained. All next day after that, I feel fatigued and sick. But, men in 40s are so strong and energetic. They may communicate for many hrs with ease. Odd. Have you considered vitamins? All joking aside, and this might sound funny to some, but it sounds to me like you need to learn some methods on protecting yourself, bac. Meditation. Visualization. Some people are like you - they can't keep from letting people drain their energy. I used to have a huge problem with absorbing people's emotions. I can't recommend anything in particular, but I just know that you don't HAVE to feel that way. You need to learn how to protect yourself. Look into different natural healing modalities.
Author bac Posted September 7, 2009 Author Posted September 7, 2009 Odd. Have you considered vitamins? All joking aside, and this might sound funny to some, but it sounds to me like you need to learn some methods on protecting yourself, bac. Meditation. Visualization. Some people are like you - they can't keep from letting people drain their energy. I used to have a huge problem with absorbing people's emotions. I can't recommend anything in particular, but I just know that you don't HAVE to feel that way. You need to learn how to protect yourself. Look into different natural healing modalities. I do meditation with visualization for 30 mins every time before any date. It helps somehow to handle a date, but the overall loss of energy after a date mostly depends on duration of the dating experience. If it is too long, it is very difficult to handle.
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 I haven't really run into this particular problem on my own (although...that's not entirely true...I do get drained when I'm in LARGE groups for a LONG time and it depends on their energy), so I can't speak very intelligently on the matter... But have you tried any kind of protective visualizations or affirmations? (bubbles, auras, etc) And I'm wondering if you're allowing people to drain YOUR energy without being connected with your higher power. I can easily see that being a problem. Being tuned in and connected with your crown chakra can help. Like I said...I can't really give like straight advice on this because I haven't really run into this problem. Maybe...um...Taramaiden would know more about this? Do you get drained in ALL social situations (work, errands, etc), or just a one-on-one date where the other person is focused solely on you? Does this affect your sex life at all, do you think? Is it only early dates that have this effect, or ALL of them? Do you experience this with family?
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 To add...I think Reiki might help you learn how to channel energy better? I don't know. I only know very little about it.
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