Should I be honest or wait?

[SimpleSam]

So I've been talking to this girl, let's call her Elaine. I know she is in the process of moving out of her apartment she shared with her boyfriend. They have been seeing each other for two years now, but the relationship is definitely on the rocks. I went out with her last Thursday, and let me say this...she gave off signs that it is definitely over between her and her boyfriend. She said that they are at least civil with each other now. At the end of the night, I gave her a huge and when I went to let go, she kept holding on. Now personally, I take that as a clear-cut sign. I could tell that she probably wouldn't have minded if I kissed her, but I still do not feel all too comfortable moving into that territory, at least until I know that her and her boyfriend are kaput. I'm taking her out to dinner on Wednesday, and I want to know whether or not I should just bring up the boyfriend situation or not? Basically, if I choose to say anything, it is just that I want her to feel comfortable with her decision and if she needs to more time, that it is completely understandable. Plus, I don't feel really good about fooling around with someone who isn't completely broken up with her last boyfriend...if she is willing to do that, then I shouldn't be surprised if it happens to me if I end up being her boyfriend.

[Thaddeus]

You're treading very dangerously close to the abyss known as the friend-zone.

 

It's going to take some time for her to heal, as well. There's bound to be lots of drama and all the rest. Are you prepared to be the rebound?

At the end of the night, I gave her a huge

Sorry, I know it wasn't intentional comedy, but this made me laugh. A huge WHAT..?

[carhill]

IMO, since you made the date, keep it, but I'd be a good listener and not let my feelings cloud my perception. Assuming you don't want a f*ck buddy here but rather a healthy relationship, your job is to determine whether there is a future of that with her.

 

If the conversation is about your shared interests/passions/pursuits and you note her taking a marked interest in you, meaning she actively asks questions and remembers things, then I'd see that as a positive. If it turns into a bitch session, try to steer the conversation back to neutral territory. If she persists, end the date early. She's not for you, not now. You're just a distraction from whatever is going on between her and her boyfriend.

[boogieboy]

You should treat her as if you didnt know she had a bf at home. If you bring it up you will turn her off.

 

She might be using you as a rebound though, so I hope youre prepared for that. Treat her as if YOU are the catch and if she doesnt step up her game, she will lose you. If you make it apparent that shes in control, you will lose her. ( I.E.:"I want her to feel comfortable with her decision and if she needs more time") You dont make yourself an option like that, thats doormat behavior, thats not attractive. You treat her as if you are dating other girls and you will drop her at any minute. DOnt treat her like a prize. She will lose respect for you. You need to be a challenge. Her BF situation isnt your concern, its all about you.