The tables have turned after almost 3 months....i will take nc to the grave

[angelface78]

THE REASON WHY I WILL TAKE NC TO THE GRAVE!!..........

 

My fiance of 4.5 years and i broke up almost 3 months ago. There were 2 big breakups during the relationship. He asked for two breaks during those years. The breaks were both during summer. After the second break up he proposed. So here we are this summer and the same thing. He is not sure he wants to get married. Well i gave back the ring...my heart shattered in a thousand pieces. I said its over..for good! I spent my birthday alone..he sent a generic email that said best wishes on your bday...after almost 5 yrs thats all i got. I went into strict NC and have not spoken to him since the breakup. His sister called me a month ago and told me he was with some trashy girl. I wanted to die. I saw her myspace and couldnt believe he could do this to me ;( I almost broke down 3 weeks ago...almost called him. My friends didnt let me. My boss walked in and caught me in tears. She talked to me and told me not to call him..that he was not worth it!She sent me home. I wandered the stores that day and went to the car wash. Then a guy friend of mine who likes me.. took me out. He has been there for me since the beginning. Well i added this guy friend on myspace. Well after 3 months of not hearing from my ex..he breaks... He contacts my guy friend..telling him that he is my ex fiance of five years and that i still call him (LIAR) but that if he wants to take a chance with me to go ahead. (as if we are asking for his permission) Anyway my friend told him that i am worth taking that chance. My ex got angry and told him all these stupid things. I guess he thought i would eventually call him and that i was gonna sit around waiting for him forever! NO MORE!! I cant believe my ex contacted him thru myspace. Anyway bottom line. I have kept NC for 3 months. I have had my ups and downs. Days where i thought i would die for sure! Very bad breakdowns, in the shower, in my car, at work. Mornings are always the worst for me. Crazy anxiety attacks. I dont know what will happen in this life...i have slowly started going out here and there with this guy friend of mine. He is a wonderful man. He has helped me soo much and is so supportive. He helps me stay in NC. NC is sooo difficult but i encourage everybody to stay in it! It is the only way to move on. I know people have hurt a lot of us in ways we could never imagine..but have faith and rest asured that in the end we will all get what we deserve. STAY IN NC PEOPLE!!!

[Adri Ana]

You are wonderful .

 

You know why ?

 

Because you are strong , strong enough to stay in NC when the case is over .

 

The case is over - means the case was not for you . So stay away from him/her and maintain NC ,people !!!

Just do it !

Its your life . Take the chances to improve it without the a**holes that spoilt this .

[Soul Bear]

Im envious.

 

I had a generic 'haapy birthday best wishes' message/fb friend request from my ex of 5 years too after 2 months of NC....i crumpled and replied via sms 2 weeks later saying 'thanks for the bday wishes'...that was it, no more no less. She replied immediately with a how are you and all that jazz. WHich I ignored that was about 1.5 months ago now.

 

Wish I had stayed strong and ignored her completely just like you.

 

WELL DONE!!

 

keep it up

[4givrnt4gtr]

God i wish i could be that strong.....

 

I guess its hard when the break up was not in bad terms. I talked to my ex the day after by sending him an email regarding some money he owed me. We were so...caring despite the situation. So sad.

 

I havent talked to him since then, so im on my 2nd day of NC. Yet i know i will be sending him a happy birthday email in october...i feel like i have to....i still think he's a really good guy, but we both agree its just not the right time.

 

In any case, i wanted to warn you about your guy friend. I know it gets lonely and we all want company, but beware of using him as a rebound. My ex was in a similar situation as yours. He had an ex of 5 years and were supposed to marry. 7 months later I came along and he showed interest. he said he was over his ex but after we started dating it was clear that he wasnt. He wanted to be, but you cant force something like that.

 

I stayed with him for 9 months because he was an amazing man, with a lot of issues but amazing nonetheless. Yet, the fact that he wasnt in the right place emotionally inevitably got in the way. He liked me a lot but couldnt trust me and couldnt allow himself to love me, because he hadnt taken the time to heal completely before jumping into a new relationship.

 

Now im left to deal with my own pain and heartbreak, and it so very unfair. I wonder why he did that knowing he wasnt ready, why he had to drag me into something so painful.

 

So becareful, even if he tells you you are worth the risk. Be fair and take your time to heal on your own. If by the time you are fine emotionally he is still around, then by all means. But right now it wouldnt be fair to him, or really to you either. (Trust me, my ex's head was all over the place with this, i wouldnt want to be in his shoes) .

[angelface78]

yes i know...and he knows. He is my friend. He knows everything and i would never lead him on! He knows im not ready. We just hang out.

[moo]

When my birthday came. I got nothing. no phone call. nothing. I called my ex crying and he said he didn't think of me and went to the carnival with his son. Last year when we were together I got nothing for my birthday. no card, no present. nothing. Finally my ex said he was going to come see me and bring presents. He stood me up. no phone call, nothing until 5pm, telling me he couldn't rent a car. He never tried to make my birthday up to me.

 

The only thing he ever brought for me was a condom. I really hate him.

 

Every time I hear someone's birthday was acknowledged by their ex, I get jealous.

 

Worse boyfriend I ever had and he thinks he's a really great guy...scum.

[EmperorR]

I love that quote taking nc to the grave with you and that's amazing. I'm the same way I have not contacted my ex soon almost to be a year and I never will again. These people don't deserve a second of your time, you are worth so much more.

[t0ri]

 

The only thing he ever brought for me was a condom. I really hate him.

 

Every time I hear someone's birthday was acknowledged by their ex, I get jealous.

 

True scum at it's finest. How long did you date him? ((hugs)) People never cease to amaze me as to how disgusting and heartless they can be.

 

Angelface - good for you for being so strong! I responded to my ex's break of NC yesterday, and now all my friends and family are making me realize that was a bad idea. Ah well.