laylia2 Posted November 21, 2003 Posted November 21, 2003 I've posted elsewhere about my long standing friendship - relationship - friendship - relationship - friendship history with a guy. I left out a detail that bothers me to no end. In fact it's been bothering me for nearly four years now. Before we broke up the last time, I cheated on him. I did not break up with him to be with the other person. I did not have sex with the other person. But I definitely cheated. We've worked through a lot of crap and managed to become very good friends. I'm not closer friends with anyone else in the world (and I have many friends whom I value a lot). But I've never told him that I cheated on him. Now, two separate questions: Do I tell him? And, if I am going to (I have made no decision yet) express my longings to start a relationship with him again, do I tell him? I take these as two different questions, because I see them as two different situations. One is a friend telling a friend that long ago while they were dating, she cheated. The other is an ex looking to get back together, telling him that she cheated before. Opinions? For the record, I've been dealing with serious guilt feelings over this for nearly four years now and have probably beaten myself up over it more than you could, so please don't.
VASH THE STAMPEDE Posted November 21, 2003 Posted November 21, 2003 No,it's been four years . If you tell him now he might grow a hate toward you.Because you didn't tell him before. So just get over it and move on.
Author laylia2 Posted November 21, 2003 Author Posted November 21, 2003 Even if I wanted to get back together with him? Wouldn't it be worse if it came out later in life? (Just because I hate to live a simple life, a few people DO actually know about my ... uh ... bad deed.)
VASH THE STAMPEDE Posted November 21, 2003 Posted November 21, 2003 How did you cheat on him??? It's in the past. It might be worse if it did resurface in the future,only a few people know, are they the type to bring up stuff like this? Can you trust them?
Author laylia2 Posted November 21, 2003 Author Posted November 21, 2003 ... I'm not ENTIRELY sure that someone hasn't already told him... a long time ago. I have my suspicions that he knows already and has chosen to forgive and forget (which would be just like him)... But if that's the case, I'm not sure I can live with him knowing and coming clean with him myself. y'know? All I know is I think about it often and it doesn't make me happy.
I'mJustAGurl Posted November 28, 2003 Posted November 28, 2003 Don't say anything about the past problem... if he's heard it.. fine.. don't dredge up past pain. If he hasn't.... all you'll do is hurt him. Let it be, this comming from someone who has been cheated on and he confessed to me...
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