loveslife Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I have been there too many times to count. Have allowed myself to be treated badly in little and big ways. Now I've come to see what I really deserve and I will no longer settle. Like I said in a recent thread, I think we must love and respect ourselves in order to be able to recognize these things in other people. I think we have to take care of ourselves well. I think the more obvious it is that we value ourself the more standard it becomes that someone else must value us to be allowed in our life. Wish I had come to this place years ago. Glad I'm here now. Expectations are only too high if the other person cannot live up to them. What do you think?
sugarmomma Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Kindness and respect comes from a person's heart. I have to be with a man who has a loving heart and does not equate that with being "weak" or less than a man. It is a requirement for a man to show that he has a genuine interest in my well being as a person and not as an "object". I am definitely an independent woman that is not needy at all but I do expect a man to be a man of his word and treat me with the utmost respect. What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Author loveslife Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 I'm pretty independent myself and don't consider it needy to expect a man to keep to his word. I came to realize that in order for someone to treat others with love and respect they do have to love and respect themself. So, if a guy is treating you badly it's generally how he treats himself as well. In my mind, it was my independence that tripped me up. I generally let poor behavior slide because I felt that I didn't care because I wasn't invested. But it really just set a standard.
sugarmomma Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 So, if a guy is treating you badly it's generally how he treats himself as well. . I think it was just an ingrained belief about how he feels a woman (or me) should be treated. He seems to treat himself (on the surface) very well i.e. well groomed, nice house car, job etc. I think if a man simply has unresolved issues with women in general he will hold certain beliefs and treat women according to those beliefs. I know this because I used to have nothing but contempt for men. But now that I have changed my beliefs I treat men with the respect that they, and I, deserve. I guess its a process. I try to teach my son to treat women with the utmost respect and if a woman can't receive that, move on.
Author loveslife Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 I know this because I used to have nothing but contempt for men. But now that I have changed my beliefs I treat men with the respect that they, and I, deserve. I guess its a process. Well, this is a big point to make! I used to be the same. Now I want to treat everyone with respect. It's something I'm striving towards.
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