fral945 Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 It seems to me you can have two different approaches to life about how you want to live. The first is the "live like there is no tomorrow attitude", the people who live (at least it appears) mainly to experience life and not worry about goals or accomplishments. The proverbial free spirit. The second is the type that is very driven and determined to accomplish certain goals (career goals, marriage by certain age, having X # of kids, etc), and are less concerned about enjoying the process involved to accomplish those things. Obviously, there are plenty of people who are a combination of these, but what I would like to know is: 1) Is your life centered more around experiences or achieving goals? 2) Has your mindset changed over time (i.e., were you once a studious goal setter and now more of a free spirit, or vice versa)? 3) Which way do you think is better? To answer these myself, my life is now centered more on experiences. When I was younger I was more goal oriented. For me, experiences outweigh accomplishing goals, but I would not go so far as to eliminate goals. I personally think a balance is needed, and I believe I am achieving that balance by experience some of the things I missed out on when I was younger.
Pedigree Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 1) Is your life centered more around experiences or achieving goals? 2) Has your mindset changed over time (i.e., were you once a studious goal setter and now more of a free spirit, or vice versa)? 3) Which way do you think is better? 1. A bit of both but leaning towards goals. I do set goals but it's never beyond the short term (this week, I have to have my car insurance taken care of) or the medium term (I have to graduate from university next year). It's when I get to long term things (Where do I see myself in 5?) that I don't have any set goals and just let things happen. 2. Nope. 3. If you can clearly see the direction of where you're going, set goals. If you can't, even if you set goals you'll quickly descend to just letting things happen because you're just groping in the dark.
deux ex machina Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 ... Obviously, there are plenty of people who are a combination of these, but what I would like to know is: 1) Is your life centered more around experiences or achieving goals? Achieving goals mindset right now. There's a balance, as you alluded to earlier. 2) Has your mindset changed over time (i.e., were you once a studious goal setter and now more of a free spirit, or vice versa)? I have gone back-and-forth between the two, actually. Each time, having learned from the previous matrix. Hopefully learned the right things. 3) Which way do you think is better? ... I don't think there's an objective "better" that's one size fit all, or even most. Or most of the time, even. Cool thread, fral.
Nightsky Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 In my answer I’ve reviewed your question with semantics. I view time as an illusion, and the expierence of life my goal. I’ve chosen to expierence your question and enjoy my reply when I just as well could have read your post with a goal in mind in both scenarios leading to the same result. The only difference in them being my conscience journey to get to that point.
Trialbyfire Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I'm goals-oriented, always looking to the future. Having said that, I also enjoy the "now". When making important decisions, the view is always long-term. For example, I've never cheated and won't cheat, since I know that in the long-term, it will kill me slowly, from the perspective of self-respect.
Isolde Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Fral, excellent post. I've so often wondered how best to balance the two. I can say I have a couple of defined long term goals but probably lean slightly more towards being a free spirit. I find when I worry too much about the long term, I become paralyzed. I sometimes find myself wishing I could plan my life out in a linear way, but my mind just doesn't seem to work like that, barring a couple of very general goals that I want to achieve. Still, things have worked for me well so far, so I don't think I'm unstructured to the point where I'm not building anything to work from later.
shaunwu Posted September 15, 2009 Posted September 15, 2009 Things change always. Life's like a continuum. Past<----------------->Present<----------------->Future |-------Experience---------|------------Goals------------| I believe the system should be to "Reflect your past, work on the present, plan for your future". It like a living body, repeating the cycle. It doesn't stop.
Author fral945 Posted September 18, 2009 Author Posted September 18, 2009 I'm goals-oriented' date=' always looking to the future. Having said that, I also enjoy the "now". When making important decisions, the view is [i']always [/i]long-term. For example, I've never cheated and won't cheat, since I know that in the long-term, it will kill me slowly, from the perspective of self-respect. Were you ever at one time more "experiences" oriented? And if you have not been, do you ever see yourself one day becoming more that way once you achieve your major goals? Say that you eventually establish a successful career, family, love live, friends, financial stability, retirement account, etc. (assuming you don't already have these things). Do you think you will spend more time smelling the roses, or will you find new goals to set and achieve? Fral, excellent post. I've so often wondered how best to balance the two. I can say I have a couple of defined long term goals but probably lean slightly more towards being a free spirit. I find when I worry too much about the long term, I become paralyzed. I sometimes find myself wishing I could plan my life out in a linear way, but my mind just doesn't seem to work like that, barring a couple of very general goals that I want to achieve. Still, things have worked for me well so far, so I don't think I'm unstructured to the point where I'm not building anything to work from later. Were you ever more "goals" oriented? I do have a similar outlook on life to you. I have some goals, but I have very few that I feel like I "have" to achieve. I also tend to be more of a free spirit and feel that because the way the world is structured there are limited ways to achieve the goals that I want to achieve. There are tradeoffs in life and some of the goals would force me to give certain things up that I don't want to give up. Instead of fighting the system and worrying how to achieve these things in a world structured differently than I would like it to be, I just adapt and live life mainly in the present. I plan a little bit for the future, but think life is too fickle to plan too much.
Trialbyfire Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Were you ever at one time more "experiences" oriented? And if you have not been, do you ever see yourself one day becoming more that way once you achieve your major goals? Say that you eventually establish a successful career, family, love live, friends, financial stability, retirement account, etc. (assuming you don't already have these things). Do you think you will spend more time smelling the roses, or will you find new goals to set and achieve?I've already established all the above that you've referenced. I don't really need to work anymore, just do so because I like it, to continue padding my retirement and also hope to save more for my future children. I did roll back my work time for awhile, setting up to stop and smell the roses by having a family, in my previous marriage. Before I actually got pregnant, D-day for infidelity struck so plans were shot, with the subsequent divorce. Now a couple of years later, I'm engaged to a wonderful man. After we get married and have children, we'll see how things go. If having a family and working so much, is too much to handle, then I'll roll back my work sched a bit. Whether I'll ever stop working completely and have no goals, I highly doubt it, since it makes me happy to have goals. For awhile after divorce, I had no goals and satisfaction only lasted for a limited time. So, I guess I'm happier always striving for something.
Trey Walter Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 1) Is your life centered more around experiences or achieving goals? 2) Has your mindset changed over time (i.e., were you once a studious goal setter and now more of a free spirit, or vice versa)? Right now, the center of my life seems to be shifting from goals to experiences (or from future to present as I'd prefer to say). This shift goes hand in hand with a change of my attitude. I used to be more materialistic in the past. I don't say I want to discard all of my goals, but I'm trying to find a healthy balance. 3) Which way do you think is better? I think you need a mixture of both. After all, you have to live in the present moment and enjoy the present but if you live like there's no tomorrow, then there won't be a tomorrow pretty soon.
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