natalie sarah byrne Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 [sIZE=2]I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years, he is a year older then me and we both love eachother very much. The problem is I feel very insecure in our relationship. He has many friends both girls and lads, the girls arnt too nice and can be bitchy at times. I am very afraid that he will leave me for one of them as they are quiet good looking girls, he gets on very well with them and they really like him. I am a very sensitive person. If [/sIZE][FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]my boyfriend goes out with his friends I feel neglected. I get very upset and often we fight about it. Also I have suggested that once in a while he would take me out with his friends, but this never happens as he doesnt want to involve me with them[/sIZE] How can I improve our relationship and stop feeling insecure? [/FONT]
sugarmomma Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I don't think its an issue of your security but an issue of his rudeness. What guy does not take his girlfriend out with him to hang with his friends. Sometimes I have known guys that are not secure unless I'm insecure. I would dump him as he does not seem to really care about your feelings but minimize them so that he is okay with his mistreatment of you.
Hkizzle Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 If he never takes you out to see his friends then that's a broken relationship. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear. I don't think I know any decent guy that doesn't take his GF to see his friends. The ones that don't, don't because they don't want to advertise they're taken or don't feel their GF will embarrass them in some way. HAve you met his parents? Not introducing a GF to his own parents is one of the traits of a guy with commitmentphobia. Not introducing her to his friends is a much more extreme version of that, and shows he doesn't care, respect or value you enough.
boogieboy Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 After two years, shes not going to dump him, she wants his attention. If you keep showing him your insecurities, he WILL leave you for one of those girls. So if you want to keep him, you have to show how SECURE you are. Go hang out with your own friends. You shouldnt make him your whole life anyways. DOnt bring him to hang with your friends. When he wants to go out with you, blow him off to go out with your friends. He might be a lil jealous if he cares about you. Then when he wants to talk about it, you can hit him with the real problem. I dont think he will change though, he might be too comfortable with you. You might be beating a dead horse here. Have your own life outside of him, and you wont NEED to hang with him and his friends. Has he brought you to meet his friends in the beginning? If he has and stopped, its because youre no fun to hang with.
Hkizzle Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 So if you want to keep him, you have to show how SECURE you are. Go hang out with your own friends. You shouldnt make him your whole life anyways. DOnt bring him to hang with your friends. When he wants to go out with you, blow him off to go out with your friends. He might be a lil jealous if he cares about you. Then when he wants to talk about it, you can hit him with the real problem. I dont think he will change though, he might be too comfortable with you. You might be beating a dead horse here. Have your own life outside of him, and you wont NEED to hang with him and his friends. Has he brought you to meet his friends in the beginning? If he has and stopped, its because youre no fun to hang with. Whilst this strategy can work, it has to be done from the beginning for effectiveness. After 2 years if the guy is set in his habits, making a sudden change ain't going to change his attitude. If you ask me the relationship is broken already. She can accept he's just not that into her, or drag it out forever until she finally accepts that.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 Natalie, there is only one thing in boogieboy's post I agree with. Is having your own life seperate from your boyfriend. However, there is no indication in your post that you do not have a life of your own. Mearly that you want to be more a part of your boyfriends. Is there a possible way to talk to your boyfriend about this topic without getting overly upset with him? I know sometimes when I need to address something that bothers me in a relationship, I can get very upset. Especially if I feel like I am not being listened too. Do you two have good commnication normally? Also, sometimes guys do need time apart from their girlfriends to hang out alone with their friends or family. But if he never invites you to hang out with him and his friends, that is a different story. How does he treat you in regards to his family?
djo Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 As a guy, the fact that he won't take you with him when he is seeing his female friends waves a red flag to me. I would ask him straight up why he won't take you. It's one thing to not want you to be there when hes with his guy friends. When im with my guy friends, I just wanna swear, tell dirty jokes, and act like a moron and let lose. Haha. If I ever go out with a female friend, it's usually just casual small talk so why cant my girl come along? I for one enjoy showing off my girl to everyone.
Recommended Posts