How long should you allow a rebound to go before contacting your ex again?

[JLT123]

I know, I know.. you should let him/her contact you.

 

I don't even know if this would qualify as a rebound or not, but we broke up in November after three years together.

 

We had been talking off and on for a little while, and we had a really good conversation towards the end of May. She indicated to me she couldn't tell if the feelings were there, even though she spoke with me for 3 hours. She said she wouldn't be forgetting the conversation for a while and would consider going to a concert with me at the end of July.

 

I think it was a week later that she met this new person, and it was the end of June when she confirmed it.

 

Going by that timeline, they would've been together 4 months by now, if they're still even together, which I have a strange intuition they're not.

 

We haven't spoke in 2 months and 10 days and I have no clue as to what she has been up to.

 

So, any suggestions (aside from not doing anything)

[Tayla]

Aside from doing anything? Hmmm...did you know that INACTION is an action?

Its called standing your ground whilst looking forward to new opportunities.

 

Not sure if you are looking for her to come back in your life after she has her tryst with another or if you are seeking her as a friend in the future.

The post was vague in that way...

 

Hopefully though you do hear from her if for nothing else to know she is okay and moving forward in life.

[JLT123]

Aside from doing anything? Hmmm...did you know that INACTION is an action?

Its called standing your ground whilst looking forward to new opportunities.

 

Not sure if you are looking for her to come back in your life after she has her tryst with another or if you are seeking her as a friend in the future.

The post was vague in that way...

 

Hopefully though you do hear from her if for nothing else to know she is okay and moving forward in life.

 

Well, yes, looking to have her back in my life is the want here. As far as her being with someone else, I can't really resent her for that considering I've done the same and would be a hypocrit.

[vivrantflo]

I know, I know.. you should let him/her contact you.

 

At least you know what you're supposed to do. But live your life as if she's not coming back, cause there's a good chance you may not hear from her again.

 

 

 

She indicated to me she couldn't tell if the feelings were there, even though she spoke with me for 3hours.

 

If she "cant tell" that the feelings are there, they're not there. It doesn't matter how long you two talked for.. really. If she never mentioned wanting you back, or being in love with you and needing to be with you.. that three hour convo was just useless banter.

 

 

 

Going by that timeline, they would've been together 4 months by now, if they're still even together, which I have a strange intuition they're not.

 

I gotta warn you, from my personal experience. Never ever bank on the "rebound theory" Some "rebound" relationships can be quick, to band-aid certain emotions. And some may work out. My ex met her "rebound" A week and a half after our break up in January '07, and they're still together.

 

Ignore your intuitions about her marital staus cause it doesn't matter. If she's with him still, she's not available. And if she's not, she still hasn't found the need to contact you being single woman! And that's even worse.

 

 

Live your life man. Go on dates, hang out with friends, and try your best not to worry about what your ex is doing. You'll drive yourself crazy working out timelines, and wondering if she's single or not, or what shes doing.

[JLT123]

At least you know what you're supposed to do. But live your life as if she's not coming back, cause there's a good chance you may not hear from her again.

 

 

 

 

 

If she "cant tell" that the feelings are there, they're not there. It doesn't matter how long you two talked for.. really. If she never mentioned wanting you back, or being in love with you and needing to be with you.. that three hour convo was just useless banter.

 

 

 

 

 

I gotta warn you, from my personal experience. Never ever bank on the "rebound theory" Some "rebound" relationships can be quick, to band-aid certain emotions. And some may work out. My ex met her "rebound" A week and a half after our break up in January '07, and they're still together.

 

Ignore your intuitions about her marital staus cause it doesn't matter. If she's with him still, she's not available. And if she's not, she still hasn't found the need to contact you being single woman! And that's even worse.

 

 

Live your life man. Go on dates, hang out with friends, and try your best not to worry about what your ex is doing. You'll drive yourself crazy working out timelines, and wondering if she's single or not, or what shes doing.

 

I have been trying, and the ghost of her still lingers, which is the title of a song, btw.

 

I am beyond the point of driving myself crazy, and at the point where I don't give a **** what she thinks if I were to contact her. The only reason I don't think she's contacted me yet (in the event she's not with this person anymore) is because the way she ended things was ugly and infantile. She's too prideful to play the 'crawling back' role, and is probably worried that I would say the same things to her in the event I were with someone else, which I'm not, but that doesn't mean I haven't slept with other people.

 

It's love.. final and uncompromising.. and it's what I'll continue to persue until the feelings fade, which I'm seeing them doing everyday, and I don't want them to, because what we shared was rare, and that's hard to find nowadays.