loveslife Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 If the man wants to spend time with his CHILD daughter, he probably assumed his GROWN girlfriend could take care of herself for the day. It's not as if he made plans with you to do something. Dreamer, the issue is he said he would come by and then he did not and did not call until the next day. That's just rude.
dreamergrl Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Kamille, you totally get me!! I just can't believe that he had the audacity to call last night leaving a message that he's sorry he couldn't make it. Hello!!! He could have called sooner. I am so glad that I wasn't truly waiting for him. And he had the nerve to text this morning saying "hey babe. call me when you get up" Okay, right!! I wouldn't suggest that he hold his breath. This is a prime example of when a man tries to manage down a woman's (reasonable) expectations. So let me get this straight. You weren't really waiting for him, but you let him think you were. You throw a fit because you can't take your grown self to go get something for your cold. You let him apologize for not making it, even though you weren't waiting for him? And I can't stress enough, he was with his daughter, they were doing something together, and you wanted him to stop and run for your needs. And you can't be mature enough to just tell him what made you upset. So you leave him waiting and wondering.
dreamergrl Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Dreamer, the issue is he said he would come by and then he did not and did not call until the next day. That's just rude. I think she said he called that night. I think when dating a person with kids, these things come up, and it's too be expected. His priority for the day was his daughter, as it should be. It's quite likely that they got caught up in some activity. Now, should he have been without the daughter, yes I'd find that rude.
loveslife Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I think she said he called that night. I think when dating a person with kids, these things come up, and it's too be expected. His priority for the day was his daughter, as it should be. It's quite likely that they got caught up in some activity. Now, should he have been without the daughter, yes I'd find that rude. Everyone has cell phones these days. I think it's reasonable to expect a call during the period when he was supposed to be there. In any case, she's done with him.
Author sugarmomma Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 Well, if he seems bitter and prideful and is not keeping his word then you did the right thing. I believe that if you're going to be intimate (emotional, physical, etc.) that it should be with someone who shows they care and that they respect you. It also should not be with someone who apparently needs a lot of fixing. JMO Priceless and my thoughts exactly. I want a man who cares about my well being and shows it. I wasn't asking for him to give up his day with his daughter but to just drop a box at the door. If he were sick he would have only had to say it once and I would have asked "Is there anything I can do, you want me to bring you something?" With all this casual dating, people have no empathy or compassion for other humans. Its called common courtesy.
Author sugarmomma Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 I think she said he called that night. I think when dating a person with kids, these things come up, and it's too be expected. His priority for the day was his daughter, as it should be. It's quite likely that they got caught up in some activity. Now, should he have been without the daughter, yes I'd find that rude. Please stop making excuses for unacceptable behavior. I am the most understanding person I know, so I know I'm not being unreasonable. He dropped the ball.
loveslife Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Priceless and my thoughts exactly. I want a man who cares about my well being and shows it. I wasn't asking for him to give up his day with his daughter but to just drop a box at the door. If he were sick he would have only had to say it once and I would have asked "Is there anything I can do, you want me to bring you something?" With all this casual dating, people have no empathy or compassion for other humans. Its called common courtesy. The dating world seems at times to consider people disposable. Kindness, consideration, showing you care are not expecting too much. It's having high standards. The people who live by those standards are the ones who end up with good partners. I personally don't want to be used and discarded. And so I set about learning to love and respect myself. That is the only way we can have the vision to recognize someone who acts in a loving and respectful manner. JMO
Author sugarmomma Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 The dating world seems at times to consider people disposable. Kindness, consideration, showing you care are not expecting too much. It's having high standards. The people who live by those standards are the ones who end up with good partners. I personally don't want to be used and discarded. And so I set about learning to love and respect myself. That is the only way we can have the vision to recognize someone who acts in a loving and respectful manner. JMO My standards are what I call "first class behavior". Where a man shows respect, integrity and that he's a man of his word. We had a situation where I was close to his house and he invited me over for a drink. When I was on my way he said ok but he needed to call me back in 2 minutes. I waited 10 minutes and went home while sending him a text saying "let just get together some other time". He called back immediately. We talked at that time about him keeping his word when he says that he is gonna do something. He agreed that his behavior was bogus because he would expect me to do the same. So here we go again. What I get from it all is that he is just a rude, thoughtless person that I have no time for at all. Then you have "second class behavior" where people expect to be lied to, let down and disappointed and the other person only has to give some half hearted apology just to turn around and do it again. I have truly learned to honor and respect myself and I expect others to do the same.
loveslife Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I think letting "the little things" slide at the beginning of a relationship sets up an expectation that you don't care how you're treated. Not that you have to make a big deal or scream and fight, just that you need to be clear on how you deserve to be treated. And then keep to your word.
Author sugarmomma Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 I think letting "the little things" slide at the beginning of a relationship sets up an expectation that you don't care how you're treated. Not that you have to make a big deal or scream and fight, just that you need to be clear on how you deserve to be treated. And then keep to your word. My boundaries are clearer than they were when I was in my 20's.
loveslife Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 My boundaries are clearer than they were when I was in my 20's. Mine, too, definitely.
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