audiojunky Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 I am 30, and I feel like I'm reaching a point in my life where my close friendships have been slowly fading away. When it comes to a Friday or Saturday night, I now find myself alone... not wanting to be the 3rd wheel with a couple... or my friends are simply busy working/carrying out their own agendas. This is a pretty horrible thing for me since I really value my close friends. I feel like my job has somewhat alienated me from being around them since during the week I hardly have any energy to get myself out at night... and being that most of my friends are musicians it is tough to always "make the hang." I have also just felt extremely turned off by the fact that I'm sometimes just not included in certain musical projects... probably because my friends think that I'm too worn out or just too busy. I'm not really sure what it is. For the most part I'm a pretty easy-going guy who doesn't create enemies, is supportive and pretty accomodating. I'm really not sure what to think anymore... and I'm starting to become really self-conscious about whether there is a part of my personality that just doesn't mesh... optimistically I just think that most of my close friends who now have girlfriends/wives are just tied up with that aspect of their lives. I'm just wondering if anyone else has found themselves in this situation before, and what did you do to remedy it? I feel like I'm at a point where I just have to make some new friends and create a new life / social circle. Suggestions appreciated... Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 When it comes to a Friday or Saturday night, I now find myself alone... not wanting to be the 3rd wheel with a couple... or my friends are simply busy working/carrying out their own agendas. This is a pretty horrible thing for me since I really value my close friends. Man, I feel you here. For the most part I'm a pretty easy-going guy who doesn't create enemies, is supportive and pretty accomodating. I'm really not sure what to think anymore... and I'm starting to become really self-conscious about whether there is a part of my personality that just doesn't mesh... And I can relate to this, too. I'm just wondering if anyone else has found themselves in this situation before, and what did you do to remedy it? I feel like I'm at a point where I just have to make some new friends and create a new life / social circle. Suggestions appreciated... Honestly, I'm at a loss myself. I'm 25, college student, went through a breakup about a year ago and found myself with a lot of "free time" b/c of losing her as well as some "friends" in the process (who weren't really that great, anyway). As I said, I'm in college and going back in about a month and really looking forward to filling my time with that and hoping to meet people. If you're not college "age" - which doesn't really exist, IMO - I would simply suggest really working on your music and focusing on what you love to do, and getting really good at whatever those things are. But the reason I responded to this post, even though I know I have not been helpful, is to let you know that I completely relate to you. Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 I'm wondering a bit about this: ...I feel like my job has somewhat alienated me from being around them since during the week I hardly have any energy to get myself out at night... and being that most of my friends are musicians it is tough to always "make the hang." I have also just felt extremely turned off by the fact that I'm sometimes just not included in certain musical projects... probably because my friends think that I'm too worn out or just too busy... Are you sure they aren't getting the vibe that YOU are the one not wanting to be around them? In any case, yes - when you are older and have more responsibilities, it does take much more of an effort to make and maintain friendships, but it is so worth it for the right people. Link to post Share on other sites
Pedigree Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 I now find myself alone... not wanting to be the 3rd wheel with a couple... Get your friend's girl to play matchmaker, then you can go on a double date. Your friend with his girl while you can try to get to know the friend's gf's friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Yellowboy Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 I feel exactly the same way, but probably passed the stage where I kept wondering what it was. Basically, it boiled down to 3 things: 1. Those who got married (and have kids), or those who have BFs/GFs are no longer available. This is perfectly understandable. 2. The ones who are left, I realize I am not too fond of, so I've distanced myself from them. 3. The ones I am fond of, somehow are drifting away, and despite numerous attempts, I've done everything in my power to keep it from happening but it seems irreversible. There are major changes coming in my life right now with me quitting my job and moving out of the country, and this also seems to give me the thought of just not wanting to do anything meaningful here because I'm going to leave anyways. So I passed that stage, and because I'm leaving, it all doesn't seem to matter anymore. It's a bit sad, but I think its a sign that I should move on with my life elsewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
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