JimmyB26 Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 We're all assuming that dumpers know what to expect when we put them in NC if they've stuck us in the friend zone or left us for someone else. I was wondering tonight about the typical dumper, who maybe doesn't know about all the terminology or the rules of NC, what they must experience when one of us puts them in NC. I mean it's not like they all of a sudden know "Oh I get it, he's in NC mode now." Is this a widely enough practiced method that a dumper's friends are telling him or her "Oh don't worry, he/she's just NCing you." Or do you puzzle the hell out of the dumper if it's the first time someone's really pulled away. A lot of really hot girls, my ex included, have never had a guy do this to them before. In fact, my ex told me that her first boyfriend, from high school four years ago, still begs her to take him back. He actually had his dad get on the phone. Another ex stalks her by hacking into her online telephone bill and calling numbers he doesn't recognize (and I got a call once). So if the ex who's used to guys trying everything suddenly gets confronted with NC, and has never experienced it before, what goes through their mind? Just curious if anyone's been suddenly confronted with this approach in the past for the first time and what went through their mind at the time.
playlislay Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 NC sucks! That is my opinion. I was the Dumper, as such. I asked if we were over and he said yes, but it was I that was playing up by ignoring him for three days. I was VERY mixed up at the time due to infidelity by him 9 months previous. He was a great partner, we (this may sound corny) had a special connection and I know how much I hurt him through my actions. Something I shall never forgive myself for. Anyway, as the "dumper" I found it extremely aggravating when he wouldnt answer my calls when all I wanted to do was to make things right. He said that he would think about it and after just 3days of NC I couldnt take it. I was desperate to know his answer and felt that he was just trying to fob me off. I was too selfish and too worried that I had to lost him to tae into consideration that he would need a lot of time to think. I got nasty because of this. I was scared and I blew it! We went to the same uni, same classes etc. We both found it akward and I found it especially hard when he, this man that was basically my life, didnt want to sit near me or talk to me. I changed class and thats when he looked scared that he would lose ME. He said that he still wanted to be friends etc. But it didnt work out like that. He must have been just a destroyed from it all as I was, and bitter at that. He didnt even talk to me after that. My birthday came on a uni day and he didnt even have the heart to say happy birthday. It killed me. I didnt understand how he could be so cruel. Ever since uni finished it has been complete NC, although I really didnt think he could abandon me so. I think it all depends on how involved you are with each other. Me and my ex were together/talking practically 24/7 (slightly unhealthy I suppose ) so to go straight into NC was a devastating procedure and a harsh realisation that I had lost him completely. You feel that they really dont give a s**t about you and it hurts. As the one that initiated the break-up, I suppose I deserve all that I get. 9 months down the line and we still do not speak. He has a new partner so I would expect him to respect his partners feelings etc, but I cant help thinking that he hates me and I doubt that Im ever on his mind. It sucks because we had something amazing and after all of it I guess a lil friendship wouldnt go a miss. NC is very important in the healing process and I can say that I am definitely moving on. I still miss him like crazy but I feel ready to give my all to someone new now. Sorry for the rambling.........
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