GorillaTheater Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 Mmm... That actually sounds really good.. lol, how "boiled" do the tomatoes need to be tho, like slightly mushy or something? I was always curious about that... The moment the water starts to boil, I turn off the heat and let the tomatoes (and peppers) sit on the burner until they're cool enough to handle. That seems to work out. I'm glad I was able to contribute to this thread.
GorillaTheater Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 Oh, and the point of the two different peppers is so the heat hits you at different times and different levels. Makes the salsa much more interesting.
smarterthanbefore Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 My question is, why do men hate to have relationship talks. I have come across so many men that complain about thier partner, and when i ask them, have you tried talking to her about it, they always say no. So why do men complain to other women about their partners , but seldom say a word to the partner about what's wrong. I also noticed that alot of men are quicker to give up on a relationship than women, why is that? I know all men are not this way, but i have personally met alot of them.
Woggle Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 My question is, why do men hate to have relationship talks. I have come across so many men that complain about thier partner, and when i ask them, have you tried talking to her about it, they always say no. So why do men complain to other women about their partners , but seldom say a word to the partner about what's wrong. I also noticed that alot of men are quicker to give up on a relationship than women, why is that? I know all men are not this way, but i have personally met alot of them. Because they often feel police interrogations to men. You sit there and just listen while she trashes the hell out of you. Many men are afraid to open up emotionally to a woman because they don't want her to see him as weak and needy which is often the what happens despite what many women say plus if he says the wrong thing she will end up resenting him over it for the next decade. Emotional talks are a volatile minfield that most men just avoid because we usually come out on the losing end.
carhill Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 I want to know the answer to this one too. I had a similar experience. 6 months of wooing and making sure they fall in love just for them to walk away over something silly. I too from the door said love wasn't in the books..wasn't needed and just be truthful. I got none of that. I got game playing and a broken heart.The other post was long, so I'll answer both with your quote.... Simply put, the men are emotionally unstable. Some might call them players or chasers, but IMO emotional instability is at the core. They mask it with other behaviors and run so the woman won't see who they really are. Self-loathing at its finest Well, that's my opinion anyway. IME, women love these guys to death. Love him enough and he'll come back to you. Nice
smarterthanbefore Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Because they often feel police interrogations to men. You sit there and just listen while she trashes the hell out of you. Many men are afraid to open up emotionally to a woman because they don't want her to see him as weak and needy which is often the what happens despite what many women say plus if he says the wrong thing she will end up resenting him over it for the next decade. Emotional talks are a volatile minfield that most men just avoid because we usually come out on the losing end. If your woman see you as needy and weak for communicating your feeling to her, then she is the WRONG woman for you. I would never think of my man as weak becaus he has emotions, only human. I never talk to my SO while angry and emotional. I give myself time to calm down and think clearly. I don't hint around to what I want, I'm straight forward and tell him exactly what I need. He can't read my mind. I LISTEN to him, and ask him what he needs, I even ask him what is the best way for us to have relationship talks that he is comfortable with ( My hubby is shy ). I don't yell, or shred him to pieces, i have to much respect for him to do that. Yet he still tries to avoid these talks. Find a woman you can talk to and you should have no problem. My boyfriend come from a family of conflict avoiders. I come from a family of talkers and problem solvers. We are working on a happy compromise for this. I guess I just don't understand why he would be uncomfortable talking. By the way , I never bash him, i take my responsiblity in whatever problems we have. I don't want to yell and fight, i just want to find a solution to the problem. I guess most woman are not like this. I have heard other men say what you have as well. My only advise is to find a woman you can communicate with. And my advise for us woman is, be someone your man is comfortable talking to. I would not deal with someone who use relationship talk as a bash session about me.
carhill Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 If your woman see you as needy and weak for communicating your feeling to her, then she is the WRONG woman for you. Yes, she is not a bad person but incompatible with that particular emotional perspective and setpoint. MC clarified this for me. It didn't matter that, in the long run, emotional openness, expressiveness and the willingness to work through fear and pain became strengths; it was the *perception* of those qualities as weaknesses which doomed our M. On my side of the street, it would be no different if I *perceived* my wife as fat and lost attraction, regardless of her true physicality. She is fat and I still think she's attractive and I'd tell anyone the latter but we're just incompatible. Our perceptions of strengths and weaknesses are at perpetual odds; odds too significant for meaningful compromise.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Because our egos are tied to the notions that the more women you sleep with...the better man you are. speak for yourself, it definitely isn't my way of thinking.
Devil Inside Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 speak for yourself, it definitely isn't my way of thinking. It isn't a blanket statement...so sorry to offend. However if you are bragging about how many women you have bagged, and are inflating the numbers...then this is most likely your issue...ya know?
MeadowGlitter Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Whoa, time to find some new friends. I couldn't imagine being in a marriage like that. If you truly believe he is emotionally and developmentally stunted wrt commitment, can you not see the writing on the wall? Or, as is commonly the case, is the challenge to 'fix' him and thus take credit for his emotional 'success' at your hand? Think about that carefully. No, not trying to fix him at all. I like his company and can see myself being in a relationship with him but he seems unsure sometimes.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 It isn't a blanket statement...so sorry to offend. However if you are bragging about how many women you have bagged, and are inflating the numbers...then this is most likely your issue...ya know? never bragged, so no.....I don't know.
LakesideDream Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Personally I don't care how many people my partner had before we were in a relationship. I can't see how it matters. Everything we experiance becomes a part of who/what we are. I am a vastly different person, for good or bad, than I was before I was married.. (many moons ago) or while I was married for that matter. I'll never be that boy (?) or man again. To much water under that bridge. All I can do with my time now is to try and put all that experiance to use, and be the best I can be NOW. Some memories are sweet, some bitter. All dim with age. Don't waste them, don't obsess about them.
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