kizik Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 There's not a lot to do out by yourself, IMO. I like to go to a bar for a quick drink, but I'm not gonna have as much fun out by myself like I would with friends. My perspective is that one should develop hobbies that they can do in solitude, like masturbation or crocheting. And I know I said I made my last post on the subject but the point is to read a damn book or collect coins or become heavily involved with taxidermy or something. Just do something you care about. It'll make you happier and also more attractive. Everybody wins, especially you.
V.Vixen Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 yeah, i like to dance, so it's pretty easy for me to grab a drink and blend in with the crowd.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 There's not a lot to do out by yourself, IMO. I like to go to a bar for a quick drink, but I'm not gonna have as much fun out by myself like I would with friends. My perspective is that one should develop hobbies that they can do in solitude, like masturbation or crocheting. And I know I said I made my last post on the subject but the point is to read a damn book or collect coins or become heavily involved with taxidermy or something. Just do something you care about. It'll make you happier and also more attractive. Everybody wins, especially you. Well I would think that merely depends on where you live. If you live in a small town or rural area, then entertainment is fairly limited and relegated to small bars and house parties. But if you live in a city, you're open to more options. In OpenGL's case, he at least has to be comfortable in wanting to do things by himself before he actually considers any options.
Author OpenGL Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 yeah, i like to dance, so it's pretty easy for me to grab a drink and blend in with the crowd. Same, the thing is most of the time when I go out with other people you kinda go off by yourself anyway at the clubs to find people to dance with. But in your down time you have your boys to fall back on at the bar and chit chat for a bit until you see another prospect. When you go out alone you don't have that safety net.
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Haven't gotten over the psycological fear of going out by myself. What is it that scares you about being out alone?
Author OpenGL Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 What is it that scares you about being out alone? The lack of social proof and the lack of a safety net on down time.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 The lack of social proof and the lack of a safety net on down time. You're afraid of people judging you?
Author OpenGL Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 You're afraid of people judging you? Afraid is not really the right word. People *will* judge you on social proof, you just have to be good at dealing with the lack of it, which I don't think I'm ready for. Good players are but I'm not at that level yet.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Afraid is not really the right word. People *will* judge you on social proof, you just have to be good at dealing with the lack of it, which I don't think I'm ready for. Good players are but I'm not at that level yet. Oh I'm sorry I didn't know you were trying to be a player.
Author OpenGL Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 Oh I'm sorry I didn't know you were trying to be a player. It's not that I'm trying to be a player, it's just that players are very good at going out alone and being successful at it. Like it or not, players are *really* good at getting women out of the clubs and usually the dudes you see in the clubs by themselves are either players or nerds. You don't really see any normal guys (not a player or nerd) in the clubs by themselves for good reasons.
kizik Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 What is a player and what is a nerd? I envision guys in Kangol caps and bowties, respectively. I wish I had the ability to reduce dudes into those handy 1950s categories you have. LOL again at nerds, that truly is funny and I'm not being mean PS. The definition of normal guy is "not player or nerd". OK, gotcha.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 It's not that I'm trying to be a player, it's just that players are very good at going out alone and being successful at it. Like it or not, players are *really* good at getting women out of the clubs and usually the dudes you see in the clubs by themselves are either players or nerds. You don't really see any normal guys (not a player or nerd) in the clubs by themselves for good reasons. I think you should have a little faith in yourself rather than hide behind a facade. Players are good at getting women because they always have tricks up their sleeves, but ultimately all they will probably end up with are ONS and superficial girls. And I don't get your normal guy logic, since everyone by logic should be considered abnormal. So maybe hanging out by yourself at a club right now wouldn't be a good idea, but how about at a bar? You could always strike up a conversation with the bartender.
DSM2709 Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 For me it's the weekends that get me depressed. I have no plans other than going to work, and yee haw for that right? I know I have to be on my own for awhile but it is nice to go out and hang with your friends every once in a while. Yesterday for example, I washed my car and did some laundry...actually all of my laundry. Only one person called me yesterday, my friend who wanted to see how I was, since I got blown off the night before by some broad who I met online, I told him what happenend and he felt bad for me. I was pretty down on myself after that happenend, but I must keep telling myself, there's alot more fish in the sea......I just wonder if I'm using the right bait. So, I know all about being alone in your apt. while everyone else is out having a good time or doing whatever, we're sitting at home feeling sorry for ourselves. I'm also not the type to go by myself to clubs and bars, I would just feel awkward.
jimbo Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Its pathetic and you are better than that. Get your stuff in gear.
lonelyguy001 Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 My man, you have no idea what loneliness is. I spent about 7 years of my life by myself, going out only 6 times (literally) between the ages of 10-17 because of the fact I had to work and because of a medical condition I won't go into here, but it basically prevented me from doing anything. Suck it up and stop being such a bitch.
loveslife Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 While you guys were having your exchange last night I was sound asleep! Haha I couldn't even stay awake for late night Sat. night episodes of "Lost." So, I guess I'm the biggest geek. Or whatever. All I know is I had a great evening. Cleaned, did laundry, went for a walk, got some groceries, made dinner, had some wine, watched television and went to sleep. Woke up today with a clean home, clean clothes and feeling rested and content. I have food in the fridge, a roof over my head, the sun is shining and all is right with my little piece of the world. I stay home alone many Saturday nights. It's actually my least favorite night to be out. Everything is crowded. There's some type of expectation on being out on a Saturday night which I never really enjoyed. Guess I'm a loner in a lot of ways. When I was living in a rural area I went bonkers though. All there is to do by yourself is drive around. I'm back in a big city now and I love it. I walk almost every evening, go to movies, bookstores, whatever strikes my fancy. But, OP, I do understand what you were going through. Don't let anyone put you down for being unhappy. We all have our moments. The people who are ripping into you especially have their moments of unhappiness, or they wouldn't be putting you down. They'd be a whole lot more respectful if they themselves were content. Maybe this would be a good time to indulge yourself in some interests you've been meaning to pursue? Take up something you've always wanted to do! If you're feeling stuck or alone then try something totally NEW. Even just a new way of approaching your routine. It could do wonders.
dreamergrl Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I don't feel sorry for you one bit. You are the only person who can make the changes you need to make. So what if your plans didn't go through. You say you're reasonably attractive, well pity parties are not attractive and you'll never meet anyone with the attitude you have. Especially with your 'settling for a fattie'.
loveslife Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I don't feel sorry for you one bit. You are the only person who can make the changes you need to make. So what if your plans didn't go through. You say you're reasonably attractive, well pity parties are not attractive and you'll never meet anyone with the attitude you have. Especially with your 'settling for a fattie'. Ohhhhh I forgot about his settling for a fattie thread.... Wish I could edit my previous post now.
dreamergrl Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Ohhhhh I forgot about his settling for a fattie thread.... Wish I could edit my previous post now. :lmao: You wanna ask if he got a plant yet, don't you?
loveslife Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 :lmao: You wanna ask if he got a plant yet, don't you? Well, I wanted to tell him about my super hot female friend who has decided she's going to settle for a moron. They might be a good fit.
Els Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I think you're exaggerating everything and wallowing in the drama. Tell yourself 'one day I will be Sodini' enough and you WILL be Sodini eventually, NOT because you're spending weekends at home but because you keep telling yourself that! IIRC this isn't the first time you've said that. Honestly, I've had many phases in my life. I've had phases where I went out so much I barely saw my room and slept 3-4 hours a day, because I was so busy hanging out with friends and my bf and going for lectures. Right now, I have very few lectures, my bf is long-distance and my friends have left the university. So I stay at home most of the time. 1-2 days not leaving my apartment isn't new to me, nor bad, really. I have plenty of hobbies that I can indulge in, and it's kinda nice to relax all day and not have to rush from place to place anyway. Each has its own benefit: going out and staying in. What I find more problematic is that you see staying home a whole Saturday as being the precursor to mental illness.
Isolde Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 It's kind of disturbing that some people don't know how to relax anymore. Some of my most peaceful moments have been spent walking around a neighborhood exploring, without a particular goal in mind. Everyone should try it!
V.Vixen Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 It's kind of disturbing that some people don't know how to relax anymore. Some of my most peaceful moments have been spent walking around a neighborhood exploring, without a particular goal in mind. Everyone should try it! I agree. I go through phases too. When I am in a less social phase, it is usually by choice, and I love to "get back to me", and feel peaceful.
Author OpenGL Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 I agree. I go through phases too. When I am in a less social phase, it is usually by choice, and I love to "get back to me", and feel peaceful. That is the key thing that makes a world of difference.
Green Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 It's kind of disturbing that some people don't know how to relax anymore. Some of my most peaceful moments have been spent walking around a neighborhood exploring, without a particular goal in mind. Everyone should try it! I think the cops would label me a serial killer That is the key thing that makes a world of difference. You have choice too. Your choosing to be blind to the fact that you have choices. By the way I left my apartment for the first time all weekend.... now its your turn. Enjoy this sunday... its like a saturday but better because no school or work tommorow for alot of people
Recommended Posts