trojans10 Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Ok, so pretty much ive been seeing this girl for a week. We really hit it off, we hung out everyday together. I took it really slow, and was respectful. (only kissed). Had good dates, everything went GREAT. Watched movies each night and cuddled. I found out a little about her past, and her last relationship. Her longest was with someone who was physically and mentally abusive. Got her into some drugs. etc. Its been 7 months since that relationship. Shes working two jobs right now, and can barely afford to pay rent. Went to dinner and a movie last night. Had alot of fun. I woke up this morning with this text: HER: "I don't think we should see eachother anymore" ME: "Really, How come?" HER: I can't have a relationship with anyone right now, i told you I can't commit and don't want to hurt you" HER: "Im going through a bunch of **** right now and I dont need to put you through it. I think its not a good idea to be with you right now" ME: " Well this was random. There anyway you want to make this work? I tried my best to take things as slow as possible with you becasue I knew what you were going through and really liked you.. I thought i could be the guy to help stear you in the right direction, but i guess I ****ed things up" HER: "No you didn't **** up, i just don't think you could handle someone unstable like me, i do like you, im just scared to death of relatioships right now" ME: "Seriously pushing people away due to past relationship is rediculous. I know the timing sucks, and like i said im willing to go slow and work with you, but if thats what you really want i got no problem letting you go." After that i didnt get a reponse. I really fell for this girl, and thought things would work out. Do you think shell be back? or should I keep trying?? Give it some time? Im pretty mad at myslf, i keep thinking i did something wrong.
gordon_gc Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 ay, i'm pretty much going throught the same thing atm. All i can tell you from what i see in your texts and what i'm living is that ur girl and my girl are really similar in the way they do things...sorta. She got the guts to break it off which, in some way, is a good thing. Her texts are just excuses to make her feel less guilty, ect... when you ask and say "Do you think shell be back? or should I keep trying?? Give it some time? Im pretty mad at myslf, i keep thinking i did something wrong" here what i think. She might be back, she might not but anyway, it shouldn't be something you should focus on. Of course, you have the right to ask yourself the question but don't make it your priority. Don't try harder, it will only make things worst...for you and for her and for you both. Dont give her some time, give YOURSELF some time. You don't have the right to be mad at yourself. Maybe a bit actually because you shouldnt be with her to help her. You need to clearly identify your needs so you can be a happier person ALONE then hopefully, by doing the same thinking process, she might also be happy ALONE but you can't help her with her issues. You did the right things by going slowly, ect...
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Why are you blaming yourself? I think it was more than reasonable of her to reject the idea of a relationship right now. Considering her past and her current situation of holding two jobs at once, she wouldn't have the time or the energy to balance a relationship and boyfriend. She was trying to be fair for both herself and you, and if there's actually anything to blame, it's timing. Please respect her wishes, and find yourself someone who is willing to commit.
Author trojans10 Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 I just don't undertsand why she would go out with me for a week..and all of a sudden end it like this. I really liked this girl. Im pretty depressed right now, after this.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I just don't understand why she would go out with me for a week..and all of a sudden end it like this. I really liked this girl. Im pretty depressed right now, after this. Life throws curve balls at us. At least in her case, she clearly found herself bombarded with various other things that takes precedent over a relationship. If you were in her position, you would probably make the same decision she did. Do not feel depressed. There will come various times in your life that you will come to like a person only to have something come along that will hinder you from being with them. People will always come and go. Eventually you'll learn to cope with these losses.
gordon_gc Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 maybe she thought she was ready to take the that relationship again then realise she wasn't . That's what is happening with my girlfriend (2 months so not much experience either). Mine pushed me to be more commited then got scared when she realised what she was getting into. It's unfair she barred you off so suddenly but you can't make her come back. Only she can if she wants to.
EsmerKiss7 Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I just don't undertsand why she would go out with me for a week..and all of a sudden end it like this. I really liked this girl. Im pretty depressed right now, after this. Maybe she really likes you too, and there is a part of her that wants something, obviously thats why she kicked it with you. I think you need to be a little more understanding about where she's coming from tho. Like im sorry cuz I understand your confusion too, but she is obviously scared to take the next step given what she's experienced. I've been in that boat too, its not something you just get over in a day and it can make you confused about yourself. It definitely makes it hard to trust people too. Anyway, if you really like her and want to give it a try you need to accept the whole package and understand that this may happen for awhile until she is finally able to trust again. Note: It can take a long time. Anyway, i'd still be friends (if she wants) and go from there, but definitely don't push anything. You dont want her rushing into it with you when she's not ready and causing problems down the line you know? Think about it.
Author trojans10 Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 You guys think I should send her a text tomorow and say sorry, and that I undertstand wheres shes coming from, and we can still be friends???? She never repsonded after my last text. You guys think was a rude text to send? ok thanks for the help guys.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 You guys think I should send her a text tomorow and say sorry, and that I undertstand wheres shes coming from, and we can still be friends???? She never repsonded after my last text. You guys think was a rude text to send? ok thanks for the help guys. Is that what you really want? If that's how you feel and you actually mean it, then by all means send it. But if you don't and you're just trying to engage a response from her, than i advise you to refrain from contacting her. btw, your last text summed up everything you wanted to say, despite it having been cruelly worded.
Author trojans10 Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 yea^^.thing is well prob. see each other at some parties on the weekends, and i don't want things to be awkward.... what do you think?
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 yea^^.thing is well prob. see each other at some parties on the weekends, and i don't want things to be awkward.... what do you think? Then make a short message like " I'm sorry about last night. Hopefully there are no animosity, and we can still be friends." End it there. She'll get the message but still probably won't reply. But at least you'll feel better afterwards, and when you do bump into her on Saturday hopefully you won't feel awkward.
bluewolf17 Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 you should thank your lucky stars and walk away. She did you a favor.
NopeNah Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Then make a short message like " I'm sorry about last night. Hopefully there are no animosity, and we can still be friends." End it there. She'll get the message but still probably won't reply. But at least you'll feel better afterwards, and when you do bump into her on Saturday hopefully you won't feel awkward. This and end it there! If you see her this weekend give her nothing more than a smile/hello and walk away. Do not keep texting ,clinging,ect.. To be honest..the way you were kinda pleading your case after only a week of seeing each other is a bit odd to me. It was only a week after all.
JLT123 Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I hung out with a girl for over a month, we texted everyday and talked about every other day or so. We went on three dates, she came to my house, I took her to a baseball game, and everything was going great. 2 days later, I stopped hearing from her. No reason or explanation. I honestly didn't care because, truthfully, I'm not over the ex, but be thankful you got an explanation.
thelipless Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 ME: "Seriously pushing people away due to past relationship is rediculous. I know the timing sucks, and like i said im willing to go slow and work with you, but if thats what you really want i got no problem letting you go." What you have said here is good. A little harsh, but you ended that message well. do not contact her again. Otherwise it will completely ruin the part of "i got no problem letting you go"
Author trojans10 Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 I guess i wont send her a message.
Author trojans10 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Posted September 8, 2009 Well I texted her this: What do you think? She responded, I duno what to take from it. ME: "Hey Sarah, I was thinking about what the texts I sent to you and it was f***ed up to try and push you into something you didn't want. You are going through alo of sh*t, if ya need anything just let me know. Feel free to hit me up sometime...ttyl" HER: "That really means a lot to me. I didn't mean to push you out of my life completely I'm sorry for that but thank you I appreciate it. ME: "np...keep staying on track..ill see ya around" What ya guys think...im thinkin i wont hear from her again.
NopeNah Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Seems cool,calm and not pushy. If you do hear from her in the future she'll think a lot more of you.. You handled it maturely..Do not contact her anymore.
EsmerKiss7 Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Well I texted her this: What do you think? She responded, I duno what to take from it. ME: "Hey Sarah, I was thinking about what the texts I sent to you and it was f***ed up to try and push you into something you didn't want. You are going through alo of sh*t, if ya need anything just let me know. Feel free to hit me up sometime...ttyl" HER: "That really means a lot to me. I didn't mean to push you out of my life completely I'm sorry for that but thank you I appreciate it. ME: "np...keep staying on track..ill see ya around" What ya guys think...im thinkin i wont hear from her again. Aww, that was very mature and I think it says a lot about you. Just stick with it and be cool, be her friend and i'm sure it will go better than if you guys tried to rush things. Good for you, take care.
Author trojans10 Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 Aww, that was very mature and I think it says a lot about you. Just stick with it and be cool, be her friend and i'm sure it will go better than if you guys tried to rush things. Good for you, take care. I wish i could be her friend. but her message seems like she doesnt want to be. "I didnt mean to push you out of my life completely"....lol
EsmerKiss7 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I wish i could be her friend. but her message seems like she doesnt want to be. "I didnt mean to push you out of my life completely"....lol Oh I guess I read that wrong, i thought she meant like by what she said that she didn't mean to push you away completely. Like she doesn't want you out of her life forever and still wants to be cool (platonic?) but not in a relationship. Either way I think you did the right thing and just need to stick to your guns, you know?
Author trojans10 Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 yea i guess so..i can't stop thinking about it tho. I really need to move on. Im a soph in college, theres plenty of other girls. Its just that this one stuck. Im not sure what she mean by saying" i didnt mean to push you out of my life completely" i could mean alot of things i guess.............
EsmerKiss7 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 yea i guess so..i can't stop thinking about it tho. I really need to move on. Im a soph in college, theres plenty of other girls. Its just that this one stuck. Im not sure what she mean by saying" i didnt mean to push you out of my life completely" i could mean alot of things i guess............. Yea I get ya, it could mean a lot of things... What we do know tho is that she doesn't want a relationship at the moment, so thats for sure. I think that you should go with the flow, enjoy life right now, if you meet other girls go out - have fun! And if you see ol' girl around just be cool with her, talk to her like you would any of your other friends - things will work themselves out.
Author trojans10 Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 Thanks for the help!...if she comes back, ill give ya an update!! Thanks again.
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