Un-Conventional Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 I'm not really looking for advice on this topic, but feel free to give some if you want. I just wanna see if others have been in this situation and how they handled it. Now what I mean by "Perfect on Paper" is this girl is essentially perfect in terms of personality and the type of girl I would like to be with but it's the other side of the coin thats the problem, I'm not really physically attractive to her. She not horrible looking or anything, just not attractive to me. She have twice let me know she has a crush on me and both times I turned her down. I didn't say that I didn't find her attractive when I turned her down, I pretty much just said I don't see us as more than friends. She hasn't really said anything new (to me that is) about her liking me but our mutual friends are starting to get more involved so i feel like she has talked to them about it at least somewhat recently and some of these mutual friends I have told I don't find her attractive but not all. So how have others handled this problem or how would you go about it?
kizik Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 If you're not attracted to someone, leave them alone. Anything else is a lead-on that's unfair to her.
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Trust me. I am on the other end of this more times than I care to think about. The most humane thing you can do is put her out of her misery. None of that 'friend' stuff - just a point blank "I am flattered but I'm not attracted to you in that way and will not date you". It sounds brutal, but that should put to rest any niggling doubts she may have as to whether she has a chance with you. Some of those well meaning friends might be encouraging her to 'not give up' or to 'keep trying'. Sometimes you can turn a person down multiple times, but if you aren't point blank about it they may just keep harboring some hope that you will change your mind.
Hkizzle Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Attraction is based on physical, emotional and intellectual areas. Miss out on one and it can kill the attraction. If you've let her know you're not interested there's not much else you can do. Not interested is not interested. I however suggest you don't let anyone know it's because you don't think she's good looking enough, in case they judge you. Just let them know that you're not interested and leave it at that. If she forces herself on you then obviously she's not that perfect on paper. I know a couple of girls that like me and I don't feel the same way. I'm still friends with them, I just don't get involved with them.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Her friends are making it worse by encouraging her. If you don't like her, be the first one to speak up and clear the air. Don't give her false hope because then you're just digging yourself a hole. The important thing is to be honest about how your feel.
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