Single with no single friends?

[V.Vixen]

Is anyone else in this boat?

 

 

I am finding it hard to make single friends, and dating hasn't been going so well for me. My friends seem to get boyfriends one after another with no problem. My one friend recently became single (about a month ago) and already has a boyfriend.

 

I am not sure if I want more single friends or a boyfriend more. lol

 

 

I have major issues... I hate feeling this way. I feel like it is something a teenager should be worrying about, not a grown woman.

[kizik]

I'm single, too, and find it hard to make friends in general. Nevermind the single friends part. You say you're not sure which you want more - single friends or a boyfriend. My advice is to go for the friends. There are always going to be boyfriends. We guys will always be there looking for the next chick to bang. But friends are more important. They don't use you for sex. They don't get mad and storm off (the good ones don't). I think it's time to focus on making meaningful friendships, and forget the boys, 'cause they'll always be there, hungrily waiting...

[V.Vixen]

Yeah. that's pretty much my reason for staying single. Less drama, more fun.

 

Plus, i had an 8.5 year relationship/marriage that didn't work out, so I have had more than my fair share of drama.

 

For some reason I am so happy until I hear another one of my friends talk about their new beau all the time and i get jealous. I am not even a jealous person, but it burns me up for some reason. Sad.

[kizik]

Personally I think it's normal to get jealous of your coupled friends when you are single. It can be so awesome to have someone that loves you.

 

But ultimately you can get that any time. Being single is a gift bestowed upon us to learn about ourselves. We do that learning through our friendships, too. And it sounds like that jealousy of your friends' "coupled" status is getting in the way of your ability to form true friendships with them.

 

So I say, don't hang out with the coupled friends. Be more outgoing and strike up friendships with girls around you. I think it's easier for girls to make friends than guys.

[V.Vixen]

I try to constantly remember this... and get OUT THERE into the world.

 

 

It's harder because my long time friends are always in a relationship. When one ends, another follows shortly after. So, it makes my way seem like the wrong way.

[SoulSearch_CO]

Vixen, you're def not alone on this. Single friends are hard to find, but esp at my age (29). I did make a friend when I went to school last summer and it seemed we would stay close, but once we got out of school she got back together with her on-again/off-again fiance and they finally set a date. So I'm alone again. LOL There are times it bothers me, but at the same time I value my alone time because I don't have to line up my plans with anybody else's.

 

I think I have an extra hard time with the friend thing because I'm living in an area that I am not originally from. So can't even fall back on neighbors or family friends. I haven't the slightest idea what to do. The girls that are single that I know that COULD be friends are total flakes when I try to make plans with them. "When can we hang out," they say. I give date and time options and it's never good for them. I hate lip service. It's easier to just be alone.

 

I've even joined some "groups" and that isn't panning out so well, either.

[V.Vixen]

soulsearch.. glad to know that i am not alone.

 

I am not far from your age (27), so I can relate. I am also in new town since June.

[SoulSearch_CO]

And if we didn't live so far apart, I'd go chill with ya.

[boogieboy]

Vixen I might have to come up to M town and we can be each others wingmen....we'll be the life of the party and make new friends and find SO's toot sweet.

[Chicago_Guy]

I'm 34 and I have the same issue. Most of my guy friends are either either married or in relationships. One of my single friends looks a lot older than me, so he doesn't even like going to the same type of bars/social events that I do.

 

The thing is that some women think it's weird if you aren't hanging out at bars with friends every weekend. I actually had a date recently with a girl my age who kept going on and on about how much she could drink - why on earth would I impressed by that?

[xpaperxcutx]

I think I'm a little blessed seeing as a few of my close friends either aren't dating or have just broken up, yet this doesn't mean that I hang out with them 24/7. Even if I do get a break, we might talk or hangout once every 2 weeks or once every month or so.

 

The point is whether they are single or not, the important thing is that you have friends in general. But if given the fact that most of your close friends are still too busy for you, it's time to make more new ones. There shouldn't even be a discrimination against couples in favor of singles. Although it's true that single people tend to have more fun because there's one less person to worry about.

[OpenGL]

Are you fat?

[V.Vixen]

Are you fat?

 

Yup.. I am the beached whale in black.

[xpaperxcutx]

Yup.. I am the beached whale in black.

 

Aww come on, you're not fat. You're really pretty.

[OpenGL]

Yup.. I am the beached whale in black.

 

Ok, so you're obviously not fat. Whats the problem? Go sit at a bar, grab a drink, and within 15 mins you will have guys all over you.

 

You will, at minimum, make some new friends. At most, get some ass tonight.

 

It's win-win either way.

[V.Vixen]

you missed the winkie face... lol

 

I am nowhere near fat.. quite athletic figure, actually. (check out those calves.)

[kizik]

Are you fat?

 

Hmmm... if she was fat, her friends would all be single?

 

What kind of question is this, OGL? Vixen's a hottie, so it's moot... just a weird, random question IMO.

[OpenGL]

you missed the winkie face... lol

 

I am nowhere near fat.. quite athletic figure, actually. (check out those calves.)

 

Ok, so you're obviously not fat. Whats the problem? Go sit at a bar, grab a drink, and within 15 mins you will have guys all over you.

 

You will, at minimum, make some new friends. At most, get some ass tonight.

 

It's win-win either way.

 

I hate being the last reply on a page.

[V.Vixen]

Where did I say I need help attracting people to talk to me at the bar?

 

I do that every weekend! Those aren't "friends".

[OpenGL]

Hmmm... if she was fat, her friends would all be single?

 

What kind of question is this, OGL? Vixen's a hottie, so it's moot... just a weird, random question IMO.

 

It's not random, if she was a fattie it would explain this thread. Since shes not a fattie, this thread doesn't make any sense.

[OpenGL]

Where did I say I need help attracting people to talk to me at the bar?

 

I do that every weekend! Those aren't "friends".

 

Uh, why can't you make friends at the bar? I've made guy friends at the bar in the past (I'm a guy) and have hanged out with them in the future.

 

Granted though, those friends are a bit more flaky, but friends nonethe less.

[kizik]

It's not random, if she was a fattie it would explain this thread. Since shes not a fattie, this thread doesn't make any sense.

 

Sorry, but the only thing that doesn't make sense is your logic. Also, "fattie" is a pretty rude term. Just my opinions.

[xpaperxcutx]

It's not random, if she was a fattie it would explain this thread. Since shes not a fattie, this thread doesn't make any sense.

 

This post is so superficial. Even skinny people have a hard time making friends.

[OpenGL]

This post is so superficial. Even skinny people have a hard time making friends.

 

Skinny guys maybe, not skinny women.

[V.Vixen]

Well... I have hung (or "hanged" )out with with people I met at the bar too. they usually are flaky. i am not looking for superficial friends. Clearly you are a superficial person in general though, so for you it may be different. I have "bar friends" that I can call to go drink with...