vin_c_boy Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 My sweetheart went to another country to live. We corresponded for about 3 years and we intended to meet up and get married. However, my girlfriend met someone else, and I also met someone else. She got married to her new lover, and I got married to my new friend. For 35 years I searched the net to try to find her. I only wanted to be ordinary friends with her, because we have both chosen separate paths, and our marriages are happy. Last week, I discovered my ex's married name and found her e-mail address. We have exchanged e-mails for one week. She is just brief in her mails, but she shows no signs that she is annoyed with me. Do you think that I am doing anything wrong by pursuing a friendship by e-mail only, with my ex?
NopeNah Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Would you tell your wife about it? How would you feel about your wife doing the same?
Author vin_c_boy Posted September 5, 2009 Author Posted September 5, 2009 No. I haven't told my wife because I do not wish to re-establish an intimate relationship. I only want a general ordinary friendship.
mickleb Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 I think your wife would be interested to hear that you have searched for 35 years to find her. Why shouldn't you tell her?
Lostgurl Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 So which one is it? Did you contact her or did she contact you? In your other thread you said she contacted you, but in this one you've stated that you've searched for her for 35 years? In the other, you said you only wanted to be friends? Why would you search for "a lost love" for 35 years if you only wanted to be friends. I smell something stinky.
Ronni_W Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 For 35 years I searched the net to try to find her. There has been no real/practical way to "search the net for lost loves" for 35 years. Even 15 years ago there were precious few search engines and no social sites to make it possible. In any case. 35 years later, and you're still calling her your "lost love" and "sweetheart"? If you REALLY are only after a "general ordinary friendship", why would you want or need to withhold that from your wife? What void in your life are you hoping that your long lost love and sweetheart is going to fill in this secret general ordinary friendship that you are considering pursuing (if your friend from your youth is even remotely interested in that)? She's keeping her emails brief...isn't that giving you any clues? Why would she have to show "annoyance" or anything like it for you to know that she's not interested in what you have in mind? Has it crossed your mind that she's shared your emails with her loving husband and the two of them are BOTH scratching their heads and laughing in amusement? As you say, you each took different paths. You might be wise to just leave it at that.
Author vin_c_boy Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 You have to be in a real world to know
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