patkirk Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Has pride ever interfered with you trying to reconcile with your ex? My ex and I have been broken up for about a month now, me being the dumper and have been NC since. I haven't attempted to communicate with her and she hasn't either, I'm the cause of the break up and I'd like very much to tell her I'm sincerely sorry for the way things turned out but can't get myself to do it. Her birthday is coming up in a month and I don't know whether I should wait till then and wish her a happy birthday or just leave things be. I know rarely does getting back together ever work but I feel I've evaluated our relationship quite enough to know what went wrong and my ability to change it but I just can't get myself to do it. Any thoughts?
mickleb Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 I personally think a sincere apology is welcome at (almost) anytime. The almost is if you happen to get them when they're in the angry stage. I suggest you write it down and post it. That way, she can respond in her own time, if she wishes. Did you initiate NC, btw?
Solear Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 You should definitely send her an apology and not just an apology but a full explanation of what you did , why you did it and the thought processes be they right or wrong. Apologize and tell her the truth,.. tell her everything. make her feel like you mean it. and if you love her... Tell her. She's probably been waiting every day to hear those three words. But dont play with her. dont be a bastard
Author patkirk Posted September 5, 2009 Author Posted September 5, 2009 Yes I did initiate NC, hence why I'm reluctant to contact her, I figured I'd wait till her birthday so It wouldn't seem like I'm trying to reopen communication. We broke up once before and reuniting didn't work out all that well, I tried to be the best I could but her distrust was ridiculous...not her fault but ridiculous, for example we went grocery shopping shortly after moving back in together, I told her we should split so I could pick out some stuff and get it done quick, well by the time I got back to her, she was incredibly upset and wanted to go home, her reasoning? she thought I only did that so I could sneak off and call someone! I didn't even know what to say about that. But I am sorry it didn't work out and would very much like to express that to her, as far as getting back together I'm not so sure hence my dilemma.
mickleb Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Ok. I really don't think it's fair on her to do it near or on her birthday. Any response from you could really upset her. If you're not interested in getting back with her, it's ok to say so. You can say what you've said here: that you understand what you should do but just can't do it. But that you still want her to know you are sorry for what happened. Out of interest, were you unfaithful, previously? It's just from the example you gave. If you had cheated, I could understand her irrationality. When someone leaves, it is incredibly upsetting and makes the dumpee feel quite unloved. It is a very big thing to try to get past. That's why it is suggestedon here that people don't even try to get together again until they've both healed. An apology is different, though. If it is genuine, it can help someone to move on and be more 'at peace', IMO.
Recommended Posts