jantrina Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Our relationship lasted onlyfor 3 months And it's been 5 months since she left me... But still I can't move on...I can't fall inlove with somebody else...I just can't love any other girls...I always beg her to love me back...When we our on our relationship it really makes her hard to say "I love you"....All of her actions make me feel that she doesn't love me...Now she has a boyfriend and she moved on very fast...But me?I was left but nothing...I just can't make myself fall w/ others...I don't know why... I always give her what she wants and do what she wants me to do but still she broke up w/ me...Plus sh called me DUMB,LOSER etc....And she told me that it was my fault because I loved her...:(Please help me... It makes me feel that she cheated on me... And I'm a guy but I don't know why I always cry for her...Oh help me what do I do????!It always HURTS!
rubo Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 So sorry for your loss I know how you feel. It was exactly the same thing for me. If you did what you said, you have done everything you could, and her calling you a loser and so on, just proves who she really is. Sorry to say this, but you are better off without her..and that is the truth. I have gone through the same thoughts as you. Have you tried to follow the guide "how to move on" or somethign posted on this page? It really helped me a lot. I'm not over her yet at any point, but I'm feeling better now. Try making a list, on paper or in your mind, that tells you all the bad things she did, or where you weren't compatible. Hope the best for you:)
georgia girl Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Hi there. I am sorry that you are hurting, but you CAN move on. I know you don't WANT to, but you CAN. First, recognize one thing: you are choosing to hurt yourself by wallowing in your loss, which continues to feed your sadness. Start today and do one thing that makes you happy. Then, tomorrow, find something else. Pick an activity you used to enjoy or a project you've always wanted to do. Quite plainly: distract yourself. That gets you out of the cycle of sadness. Second, stop contacting her now. Again, just do it for today. When my ex and I broke up, I used to envision the idea of contacting him as a single "ace" card. I got to play it only once. I could use it that day, or I could save it. I would choose to save it so I always had an option to contact him later. It was enough for me to stay away from him. Let me explain what no contact does. It gets you away from an emotionally charged situation that brings you great unhappiness. By stepping away from it, even for a day, you begin to heal. Regardless of whether the two of you ever find a way back to each other, YOU HAVE TO HEAL FROM THIS BREAKUP. I can only guarantee one thing in life: you will never get back together or find happiness, if you don't choose to heal. I know you want her back and for now, I don't think you're ready to give up on that. I'm not telling you that you have to. But you need to go no contact. Finally, consider counseling or exercise. Exercise is a natural antidepressent. It works in the brain to release endorphins which naturally improve mood. So, go out there and do something. It's amazing how well it works. Good luck. You can and will move on. Regardless of what happens with your ex, the place that you personally are in is not a good one. So start walking away from that place.
Author jantrina Posted September 5, 2009 Author Posted September 5, 2009 Yeah I've tried it...I always keep myself busy... Thinking that I should let go makes me feel bad...Everytime I think of her I always say that"Oh,I love her no matter what" Being busy doesn't stop me from loving her... I'm so depressed and I'm even getting lower grades because of it... Everytime I want to court a girl...It stops me from courting because I always remember her...I don't want to feel this pain...This pain that can even lead to my fall in future...And we don't even contact each other for months now...But still I feel the same...I've already tried flirting w/ some of the girls but I still feel that she's inside me...I've think of all of the bad things she have done to me like calling me DUMB,LOSER,"I DON"T WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN" and we never had a chance to go out because her always reason is that her mother might know it... But her actions make me feel like I don't even have a value for her.I've think all of the bad things she have done to me...I always think of that....But that doesn't make me hate her..I still want her...Everytime people ask me who is my love I always say her name... And I promised that she will be the las girl that i'll ever love...
Beeotch Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 It has not been that long....you broke up 5 months ago...and during that time you were tying to get her back so how do you mean you can't fall inlove with others? I think that is a bit premature to say that....you have to give yourself more time and find ways of coming to terms with the break up. Those are the keys to eventually moving on..time and finding ways of having it make sense to you, seeing the brighter side, taking the lemon and turning it into lemonade and all that. It sounds that she took advantage of you...and did not care about you but knew that you liked her a lot more and would do whatever she wanted. It sucks but you can take it and learn from it. She will get hers. You have to realize now that relationships are MUTUAL and you should never do everything for someone hoping they will love you....because it won't work. You should never settle for less than and you should only be with someone who will put in as much work and effort as u do. Learn from the mistakes you made with her and realize she was NOT right for you and never will be. Your feelings of "love" and missing her are NORMAL...esp for 5 months later.....but believe me, you will get over it. You may even look back and be like why the eff did I care??? But YOU have to start not by keeping busy and all that (that helps) but actually coming to terms with it and telling yourself the truth and the upside. For example: I only want someone who wants me back. She is not right for me and this is actually a good thing. Stuff like that is what helps you to actually heal and have a different mindset versus only ignoring it by keeping busy.
Author jantrina Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 Now for what all of you have said...Now I'm begining to hate her... I feel very bad...She hurt me once,Shame on her...She hurt me twice,shame on me... But sometimes I just can't accept the truth...That she's gone....I'm just trying to forget everything...Now I know...Take ADVANTAGE....I never knew that it was her attitude..It was so different...I just feel very alone...I don't seem to be happy also...It hurts me when I remember the bad things that she had said to me...Especially that I'm a loser...Now I'm hoping that someone would hurt her too...I'm so disappointed ...Maybe you all are right..But I'm just afraid that if one day she'll need me or come back to me,there's nothing that I could do...And I'm still hoping...
GrayClouds Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I suggest that maybe its about more then her. There maybe something else holding you back. Maybe look into this book, I found it to be helpful: "The Journey frm Abandonment to Healing" Susan Anderson
Author jantrina Posted September 6, 2009 Author Posted September 6, 2009 I hope I can get out of this feeling as soon as possible...Before it can lead me to my fall... I don't want to move on but I have to...Right?If I don't then it's like calling myself a loser too. I love her so much...I do...
Author jantrina Posted September 8, 2009 Author Posted September 8, 2009 Now I know...In short,she cheated on me...Whew...I was too blind to see that...It was crazy,anything happened really fast...I hope I will have find the way to get out of this soon...And excuse me it's not being premature...It's just like something different ,I wish I could get out of it. too hard...To forget...And I don't even know where to start....I just feel that she was just being so unfair...Very unfair...I was loyal to her... but she didn't do the same thing to me...Now I knew the reason why she called me a LOSER...
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