Females: What physical features on a guy are most important to you?

[Mr. Stumpy]

As a woman, I completely agree with what

The funny thing is, many people find that when they gain the self-confidence or other personality traits that women are attracted to, they also find that subtle aspects of their overall appearance (stance, how they hold themselves during a conversation, facial expressions and lines) also changes for the better. Thus making them physically more attractive as well.

 

That's true, I definately agree that a large part of physical attraction has to do with the aura one puts off.

 

But one thing that someone mentioned earlier is that someone can have one feature that puts someone off completely. I see my short fingers as being a very extreme one of those. Like the Seinfeld episode where he couldn't date a woman because she had "man-hands." And you really can't tell anything from pictures... god damn i feel like a freak again.

[Calendula]

Think of your short fingers, and any other attribute that you don't like about yourself, as an additional test of whether a woman likes you for who you are and not just how you look. Think of it as an extra filter that most 'pretty' guys don't get the advantage of. At least you don't have to waste your time with women who only like you for your looks. If may mean you get fewer women through conventional mating channels, but the few you do find will be more worth your time. Just think of guys who have lots of tattoos - they purposfully change their appearance, thereby eliminating women who don't like tattoos and would judge them for it, and attracting either those women that do like tattoos or those that can see past them.

 

Sure you might be insecure about some of your features, but we all have features about ourselves that we don't like all that much. The trick is finding someone who likes those features just the way they are and who can help us better accept those parts of ourselves as uniquely ours. I bet there are plenty of women who like stumpy fingers but wouldn't openly admit it or may not even know it. Be proud you have such unique physical qualities and don't let society's conventions say you are one thing or another because of them.

 

If you can accept who you are, as you are, then other people will be better able to do so as well. If you are comfortable in your skin, no matter what it looks like or how it is shaped, then you are one step further towards finding someone who likes the real you and not the image you present to the world. These are the kind of relationships that last.

[MeadowGlitter]

In the past, what were the things girls like about you? I'm sure you have dated a few girls before, Stumpy?

[JamesM]

 

I have only dated 2 girls after high school because of my stunted body, serious talk.

 

The things girls liked about me was my intelligence, my ability to be friends with others, looks and style, and sense of humor.

 

First off, you keep on about your hands. I am guessing that most people do not notice them until after they get to know you. And I am guessing that you were teased about them. I know what that is like...I heard it about my short skinny body.

 

Second, my HS body was extremely thin and I was only 5' 6" when I graduated in a school where most guys were already about six foot. So short and thin are not masculine. I never shaved until after getting out of HS. And I could list more reasons why I was a shy geek...including thick lensed glasses.

 

Third, if you focus on your physical aspects, then everyone else will, too. If you decide that those qualities that the girls liked in HS make you a very qualified individual for a relationship, then women will, too.

 

But in high school height/size/masculinity isn't NEARLY as important as it is in college and after college (20's), if at all.

 

Actually, I found this to be completely the opposite. College women begin to mature and realize that there is more to men than looks. And I made a decision when I went to college that no one knew me, so I could be a different person. In reality, I became myself. I began to work out, bought contacts, paid attention to clothes styles, and fortunately, I grew to six foot.

 

Was I ever a campus jock? No. Did I wish I could be? Yes. Did I have enough women to date? Yes, as soon as I got the courage to ask them out. The more I did, the more I became comfortable dating.

 

Girls want masculinity. They want a protector.

 

They want confidence and a man who will stand up for himself. They want a man who can make decisions. They want a man who will make them feel good. They want a man who focuses on who he is and not how he looks. And as for being a protector, if all women wanted muscle men, then more than half of the guys would be single, and only muscular men would be married. However, we both know this is not so.

 

There are many more ways to be a "protector" than by being the guy who is strong and muscular.

 

 

They don't want a man that has a main feature smaller than all other females, especailly if its a masculine feature like hands.

 

I have small bones. No matter how much muscle mass I gain (which genetically is not much), I can never look "big." However, this does not mean I cannot be strong. I have fingers that are smaller than most. Hey, even my teenage son is blessed with bigger bones and hands than I have. So what? I am glad for him.

 

So many girls love big hands... I know who I am, I like who I am... I just feel like I have one of those features that is just one of those "eww I can't handle that..." features

 

Most women can handle them quite fine. This conversation is like the one many women have...except it is about breasts.

 

As soon as you focus on the best qualities you have, then so will the women you meet.

 

A good class for you to take is a martial arts class. The techniques they teach you not only give you confidence in a fight, but they give you confidence in yourself as a person. I highly recommend either a mixed martial arts class (not to be confused with the UFC) or a tai kwan do class or a similar type.

[bac]

Have you ever get laid?

[Lizzie60]

- Cleanliness/ Hygiene

- Teeth

- Height

- Muscle mass/ upper body muscle

- Overall build

- Skin

- Overall facial features

- Dress style

- Private part

- Hands

- Smile

- Eyes

- Hair

- Eyebrows

[Lish]

You, Stumpy, REALLY need to stop this. I mean it.. you HAVE to stop this.

 

Your hands wouldn't bother me. Like I said in your other thread, not all men would like my breast size...some men prefer bigger or smaller. Same goes for your hands. It's preference. It's what makes us all individual. GET OVER IT. - I've been nice to you in previous threads and seeing as it aint workin', I thought I'd try a different approach.

 

The reason I would not date you is because of your hands. Not their size, they're fine to me, but your obsession & overpowering insecurity with them, frankly, makes you competely un-dateable (probably not a word. I don't care) to me and A LOT of women. Exactly the reasons someone else on this forum gave for NOT wanting to date you. People date to meet new people, have fun and see where things go; YOUR insecurity is what makes girls not want to date you and take notice of your hands. When are you going to realise this?

 

This thread isn't about your curiousity in general. This thread is because you want to know how important physical attributes are to women & so you can evaluate it and wonder how important women think hand size is. Stop it.

[CaliGuy]

You, Stumpy, REALLY need to stop this. I mean it.. you HAVE to stop this.

 

Your hands wouldn't bother me. Like I said in your other thread, not all men would like my breast size...some men prefer bigger or smaller. Same goes for your hands. It's preference. It's what makes us all individual. GET OVER IT. - I've been nice to you in previous threads and seeing as it aint workin', I thought I'd try a different approach.

 

The reason I would not date you is because of your hands. Not their size, they're fine to me, but your obsession & overpowering insecurity with them, frankly, makes you competely un-dateable (probably not a word. I don't care) to me and A LOT of women. Exactly the reasons someone else on this forum gave for NOT wanting to date you. People date to meet new people, have fun and see where things go; YOUR insecurity is what makes girls not want to date you and take notice of your hands. When are you going to realise this?

 

This thread isn't about your curiousity in general. This thread is because you want to know how important physical attributes are to women & so you can evaluate it and wonder how important women think hand size is. Stop it.

 

He's seeking external validation, instead of validation from within, and furthering his insecurities that way.

 

He wants to be accepted by everyone but in fact his OWN insecurities (over NOTHING, really) is pushing people away.

 

There are people out there missing entire limbs, people who can't walk, people dying of diseases, people homeless, people hungry.

 

Not to belittle him, but he's bitching about his hands. Seems to me, things could be a LOT frakking worse for him.

 

How about being grateful for what we DO have instead of what we DO NOT for once?

 

Cheers.

[mighty_mouse_018]

calendula- Yea I guess your right. But I am a little superficial myself... As a kid I always dreamed of owning my own buisness and being a real "man." And when I have hands/fingers that are smaller than EVERYONES, I just can't bring myself to do anything productive with those hands... It's crazy how it works like that. I guess my nature has a thing with hands and my stunted fingers is just a recipe for disaster...

 

I have only dated 2 girls after high school because of my stunted body, serious talk. In high school I had a lot of semi-serious girlfriends. The things girls liked about me was my intelligence, my ability to be friends with others, looks and style, and sense of humor. But in high school height/size/masculinity isn't NEARLY as important as it is in college and after college (20's), if at all.

 

Now people my age are older, smarter, and more observative. Girls want masculinity. They want a protector. They don't want a man that has a main feature smaller than all other females, especailly if its a masculine feature like hands. So many girls love big hands... I know who I am, I like who I am... I just feel like I have one of those features that is just one of those "eww I can't handle that..." features

 

WOAH... and i thought i was insecure. You are on another level. I find you unattractive and i'm a male!! Hehe it is your insecurity and the fact that you are not self-assured that is freaking me out. You are worrying about very insignificant things. Try being around 160cm tall (5' 3") and not worrying about it! I am very very short but thankfully there are girls out there around my height and smaller. You must learn to deal with what you have been given or else you will never get ANYWHERE!! I've recently learned there is no point worrying about things you can't change. Worrying about them just hinders you from getting over it, moving on and doing something worthwhile.

[Lish]

He's seeking external validation, instead of validation from within, and furthering his insecurities that way.

 

He wants to be accepted by everyone but in fact his OWN insecurities (over NOTHING, really) is pushing people away.

 

There are people out there missing entire limbs, people who can't walk, people dying of diseases, people homeless, people hungry.

 

Not to belittle him, but he's bitching about his hands. Seems to me, things could be a LOT frakking worse for him.

 

How about being grateful for what we DO have instead of what we DO NOT for once?

 

Cheers.

Completely agree. Nobody is ever going to want him until he's more confident in himself and less insecure, and it's a shame he just wont listen to anything we say.

[JamesM]

Tonight as I was shopping, I saw a man who was bald and about 5' 3". I noticed he had on a wedding ring. Later I saw a man who was about 5' 10" with glasses and a fake leg. He wore a wedding ring. Next I saw a man who was short and quite heavy. HE was married.

 

Get the picture? It is possible for anyone to be married.

 

Side note....Lizzie, so my sexy eyebrows aren't very important to you?

[MeadowGlitter]

I have only dated 2 girls after high school because of my stunted body, serious talk. In high school I had a lot of semi-serious girlfriends. The things girls liked about me was my intelligence, my ability to be friends with others, looks and style, and sense of humor. But in high school height/size/masculinity isn't NEARLY as important as it is in college and after college (20's), if at all.

 

Now people my age are older, smarter, and more observative. Girls want masculinity. They want a protector. They don't want a man that has a main feature smaller than all other females, especailly if its a masculine feature like hands. So many girls love big hands... I know who I am, I like who I am... I just feel like I have one of those features that is just one of those "eww I can't handle that..." features

 

Ok. Thanks for answering my question. James said it all. I couldn't have said it any better.

 

End of the day, what a woman want is a confident man.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Well for me its pretty much just the size of his penis... Oh sire your hung like a horse! lol

[Cora]

I think we sometimes can be our own worst critic. Lighten up on yourself a bit. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your appearance and the right woman wouldn't care anyway. Gain some confidence and charm them with that along with your wonderful personality! Looks isn't everything. To me it's just the cherry on top, but how caring they are and how well they treat me etc. is what counts. That is what shines through more than anything.

[You'reasian]

You are far, far too "curious" about physical attributes.

 

And your issue, based on your many posts about your own physical attriibutes, tells me you are obsessed with the physical when you should be more focused on the internal aspects of you as a person.

 

Stop obsessing over physical attributes. In the long run, they mean very little overall.

 

Obsession over physical attributes makes me think the person is young, inexperienced or shallow.

[You'reasian]

calendula- Yea I guess your right. But I am a little superficial myself... As a kid I always dreamed of owning my own buisness and being a real "man." And when I have hands/fingers that are smaller than EVERYONES, I just can't bring myself to do anything productive with those hands... It's crazy how it works like that. I guess my nature has a thing with hands and my stunted fingers is just a recipe for disaster...

 

I would imagine smaller hands would be better for working with electronics, laboratory - where being able to operate in tiny, detailed spaces requires smaller hands.

 

All kinds of mammals have hands, apes, chimps, humans - but human's brains are slightly...more developed.

 

I'm assuming you're not an ape, so go with your evolutionary advantage (you're not an ape are you?)

 

 

I have only dated 2 girls after high school because of my stunted body, serious talk. In high school I had a lot of semi-serious girlfriends. The things girls liked about me was my intelligence, my ability to be friends with others, looks and style, and sense of humor. But in high school height/size/masculinity isn't NEARLY as important as it is in college and after college (20's), if at all.

 

C'mon man, use your common sense. Certainly you have friends that are in or past their 20's - then again, it takes alot of maturity for someone to appeal to an older crowd - talk with them. I'm sure alot of folks here on LS are past their 20s too.

 

And what of those whom have travelled world-wide and have made friends from ports around the globe - was it really their hand size?

 

Now people my age are older, smarter, and more observative. Girls want masculinity. They want a protector. They don't want a man that has a main feature smaller than all other females, especailly if its a masculine feature like hands. So many girls love big hands... I know who I am, I like who I am... I just feel like I have one of those features that is just one of those "eww I can't handle that..." features

 

You say people your age are smarter - go to college or trade school and pick up a degree. If I can do it, so can you. Learning doesn't stop there.

 

People's hands come in all shapes and sizes. Being a good protector is a state of mind and commitment. Its about your intent, will and your training - many of the world's most dangerous men are average-sized in stature or smaller. You stated you were 5'11.5" and that is not short at all. In the States, that's actually a little taller than average.

 

Your obsession with big hands is almost like Jersey Shorties obsession with porn. Let it go.

[SoulSearch_CO]

I'm not going to rate the list, either. It's so silly. My most recent xbf had stubby fingers, dude. And he really freaking did. You do not. If I had a pic of his hands, I'd show you so you could STFU about it, already. You worry about something so completely inconsequential.

 

But the most recent guy I was over-the-moon for, I was attracted to (in order):

 

His mind

His personality

How he kissed

How he touched me

How hot his body was (toned, but pretty slim for a guy)

 

He did happen to have a smoking hot body. Is that what comes to mind when I think of how "hot" he is? No.

[WineCountry]

Mr. Stumpy. I'm going to do for you what 90% of the people who responded did not do for you. Simply answer your question.

We all know that what's inside of a person is REALLY going to be what matters, and that you have to work with what you have in terms of being able to attract people.

 

But reality is, there ARE going to be physical type things that attract people, or turn them off. It doesnt ALWAYS mean that folks are hung up on looks alone. That's not true. But reality is folks are attracted to what they are attracted to. Cant change that.

 

I like a kind man. A man with a sense of humor, who can laugh at things. I like a man who is strong, yet doesnt have a problem expressing himself. Someone who is just an overall, honest, decent human being. Someone who will enjoy hanging out with me. Someone who will treat me with respect. If a man doesnt have that..it doesnt matter WHAT other attributes he has, or if i like his smile, etc.

 

But you didnt ask that, did you? So, I will answer your question and place things in order using the list you provided.

 

1. Cleanliness--okay, if he has BO and is gross..no need to go further.

2. Height/weight ratio( i guess this is overall build/muscle mass)

3. overall facial features and skin..since im looking at both at same time

4. eyes

5. smile

6. hair

7. dress style

8. teeth--i mean, they shouldnt be gross or anything..

9. eyebrows

10. Private part-- this is gonna be the last thing I found out about this person, cause im not jumping in bed right away. So, if personality and everything else is good, whatever he has ' down there ' I will be ok with.

[Lish]

A lot of feedback, thanks to everyone.

 

JamesM, I know that felt amazing to go from 5.6 to 6.0. Martial arts sounds liek a really good idea. That's somethign I've always wanted to do.

 

Lish, I can't help but talk about it, it's been plauging my mind for a few years now and I have to get over it some how. For some reason I just can't be attracted to girls who have longer fingers than me, which is pretty much ALL girls! It's a huge mental block! It's like they're more masculine than me or something... and I literally can not help it. The only thing I can do is talk and talk about it. Why do you suppose I feel like that? In my head I feel like it is very literal, as I am undergrown and everyone else is full grown. Like if a girl is bigger than me somehow than they are manly compared to me, making me feel super insecure and unmasculine, and with hands its your everything tool so im constantly reminded just being around normal people!

Nah, see.

You just don't seem to be able to understand, do you?

MANY GIRLS DO NOT WANT YOU.

MANY GIRLS DO NOT WANT TO DATE YOU.

MANY GIRLS NOTICE YOUR HAND SIZE TO BE SLIGHTLY SMALLER THAN EVERYONE ELSES.

 

And why?!?! Because of insecurity, you draw attention to your hands. I can assure you. Trust me, it's not about their size; it's about how insecure YOU are about them that makes people notice.

 

You're wasting your life worrying about something you can't change. I really have tried to make you realise the problem here and what you need to address (again, it's your INSECURITY, NOT the hands themselves) but you keep comparing your hands to others which (a) won't make them any bigger & (b) is making you miserable. Please try to stop doing that.

The next time you make a thread, I just hope it's about how much progress you're making with this issue. You're wasting your life with this. If ya don't address it now, you never will.

 

And yes, you are absolutely correct, talking about things is a great thing. I'm just saying that if you're talking about it, listen to what people are saying to you. I just get the impression that you read what we say, think about it for about 30 seconds, and then forget about it. The people on here have no reason to lie to you.

 

Good luck, really

[CaliGuy]

Nah, see.

You just don't seem to be able to understand, do you?

MANY GIRLS DO NOT WANT YOU.

MANY GIRLS DO NOT WANT TO DATE YOU.

MANY GIRLS NOTICE YOUR HAND SIZE TO BE SLIGHTLY SMALLER THAN EVERYONE ELSES.

 

And why?!?! Because of insecurity, you draw attention to your hands. I can assure you. Trust me, it's not about their size; it's about how insecure YOU are about them that makes people notice.

 

You're wasting your life worrying about something you can't change. I really have tried to make you realise the problem here and what you need to address (again, it's your INSECURITY, NOT the hands themselves) but you keep comparing your hands to others which (a) won't make them any bigger & (b) is making you miserable. Please try to stop doing that.

The next time you make a thread, I just hope it's about how much progress you're making with this issue. You're wasting your life with this. If ya don't address it now, you never will.

 

And yes, you are absolutely correct, talking about things is a great thing. I'm just saying that if you're talking about it, listen to what people are saying to you. I just get the impression that you read what we say, think about it for about 30 seconds, and then forget about it. The people on here have no reason to lie to you.

 

Good luck, really

 

He's not going to get it which is kinda why I stopped contributing to this thread.

 

He's so focused on the trees he can not see the FOREST.

[OpenGL]

I have a question for the chicks. I know a lot of you are like "I need a guy who is at least 3 inches taller than me so i can wear heels " and blah blah blah. But would you go out with a guy around your height if he also wore height boosting shoes? I mean, we've already cleared up that the height thing is for aesthetics, that being tall doesnt mean anything except for a "presence", so then wouldn't it be fine if a dude wore shoes that boosted his height 2 inches or so? I mean, there's no reason why it couldnt happen....

 

Another thing, is it weird if a guy wears height boosting shoes? I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, height is the one thing you cant change, and if girls are wearing heels then whats the problem...

 

Stop being stupid.

[bluewolf17]

Stop being stupid.

 

 

ha!!!!:laugh::laugh:

[bluewolf17]

I don't see how i'm being stupid, I'm being reasonable. If chicks are going to not go out with dudes unless theyre a few inches taller than them specifically for that reason, I dont see what the problem is. 2 inches of height is a large amount of women. So please someone give me a real reason as to why i'm being 'stupid'

 

because there are plenty of chicks who don't mind a short guy. Me being one of them.

[bluewolf17]

And for that I applaud you, but there seem to be a **** load who care a loooooooot about height. Even looking at earlier posts in this thread show, height is usually one of the top factors, which imo is ****ing stupid, but whatever.

 

I agree. And there are plenty of people that wouldn't want to date me.

But I don't care, and you shouldn't care if they don't like you for your height.

[EmmaLou]

I love warm sexy eyes that I'll want to look into for the rest of my life, big lips for kissing, my height (5ft 7) or slightly taller, with a bit of padding.