Mr. Stumpy Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Ok, assuming the guy is decently taller than you (and you like his personality), rate these physical features in order of importance, with 1 being the most important and 12 being the least important: - Muscle mass/ upper body muscle - Height - Eyes - Eyebrows - Hair - Overall build - Skin - Overall facial features - Cleanliness/ Hygiene - Hands - Private part - Dress style - Smile - Teeth Also, feel free to add something else in you think is important. Or just choose the 5 or however many you find to be the most important and rate them.
CaliGuy Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 looks (though that is important). What matters more is how a man makes a woman FEEL. This is accomplished through the following qualities: 1. Being laid-back/easy-going. 2. Being FUN. 3. Having a good sense of humor. 4. Being a GOOD guy (not a nice guy/doormat/jerk) 5. Being confident and self-assured. 6. Having goals/aspirations. 7. Having a life, hobbies, friends, etc. Stop, stop, stop worrying about physical qualities. You need to learn to deal with the hand you are dealt. There is very little you can change in that aspect (aside from plastic surgery). The one thing you can change is the inner you. Your personality, your perspective on life, your attitude, demeanor, etc. You in particular, OP, are so infatuated with physical attributes that the things you can and should change (personality, outlook on life, etc) are suffering in the process and causing you the problems you are dealing with now. Stop looking at the OUTSIDE and start focusing in what is INSIDE. That is what matters -- and that is what you CAN change.
GorillaTheater Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Stop, stop, stop worrying about physical qualities. You need to learn to deal with the hand you are dealt. So to speak.
Author Mr. Stumpy Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 looks (though that is important). What matters more is how a man makes a woman FEEL. This is accomplished through the following qualities: 1. Being laid-back/easy-going. 2. Being FUN. 3. Having a good sense of humor. 4. Being a GOOD guy (not a nice guy/doormat/jerk) 5. Being confident and self-assured. 6. Having goals/aspirations. 7. Having a life, hobbies, friends, etc. Stop, stop, stop worrying about physical qualities. You need to learn to deal with the hand you are dealt. There is very little you can change in that aspect (aside from plastic surgery). The one thing you can change is the inner you. Your personality, your perspective on life, your attitude, demeanor, etc. You in particular, OP, are so infatuated with physical attributes that the things you can and should change (personality, outlook on life, etc) are suffering in the process and causing you the problems you are dealing with now. Stop looking at the OUTSIDE and start focusing in what is INSIDE. That is what matters -- and that is what you CAN change. Ok I get that, but this thread is simply about the physical part. Of course in a long term relationship the personality is going to dominate... but like another poster said I'm curious, I personally think this would be very interesting to see.
AlektraClementine Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I can honestly say that your list includes nothing I could really rate or quantify in terms of importance. But I've been told I'm kind of the odd girl out around here with regards to men's physical appeal.
New Again Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I can honestly say that your list includes nothing I could really rate or quantify in terms of importance. But I've been told I'm kind of the odd girl out around here with regards to men's physical appeal. I agree with this mostly...your list is nearly impossible to rank.
Author Mr. Stumpy Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 Ok I asked this question somewhere and here's the replies I got: nice smile, and eyes (1) overall build - nice body, doesnt have to be really muscular or anything(2) skin (3) dress style - nice style (doesnt have to be expensive designer, band tees, sweater, jeans would do) (4) cleanliness - and smells good! (5) Hair - his hairstyle should suit him (6) oh and i also like big hands, broad shoulders. My favorite part on a guy has to be his hands though. I love large hands they're so manly. My boyfriend could cover my entire face with one hand. 1) hands 2) eyebrows 3) dress style What do yall think of those answers? Typical?
New Again Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Ok I asked this question somewhere and here's the replies I got: nice smile, and eyes (1) overall build - nice body, doesnt have to be really muscular or anything(2) skin (3) dress style - nice style (doesnt have to be expensive designer, band tees, sweater, jeans would do) (4) cleanliness - and smells good! (5) Hair - his hairstyle should suit him (6) oh and i also like big hands, broad shoulders. My favorite part on a guy has to be his hands though. I love large hands they're so manly. My boyfriend could cover my entire face with one hand. 1) hands 2) eyebrows 3) dress style What do yall think of those answers? Typical? Everyone is attracted to different things. Thank goodness.
MeadowGlitter Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Have you actually dated a girl, Stumpy? What one girl likes, may differ from the next girl. I like men with good looks but I make the time to get to know them as a person. The physique of a man is not what makes me want to have a long term relationship with him, it is who he is as a person that would make me attracted to him.
CaliGuy Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Ok I get that, but this thread is simply about the physical part. Of course in a long term relationship the personality is going to dominate... but like another poster said I'm curious, I personally think this would be very interesting to see. You are far, far too "curious" about physical attributes. And your issue, based on your many posts about your own physical attriibutes, tells me you are obsessed with the physical when you should be more focused on the internal aspects of you as a person. Stop obsessing over physical attributes. In the long run, they mean very little overall.
OpenGL Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 looks (though that is important). What matters more is how a man makes a woman FEEL. This is accomplished through the following qualities: I somewhat agree with this *however* this really only applies if you get to know the girl by way of some type of friendship through mutual friends. And for that situation it's even iffy. Looks matter, if shes not attracted to you physically most girls will LJBF you if you try to make a move on her. At meat market places like bars or clubs, looks are not everything still but you have no chance if shes not attracted to you. None. At a meat market you will *not* win a girl over with charm alone. As soon as shes lays eyes on you shes already decided if she will even talk to you. If she doesn't like what she see, *nothing* that comes out of your mouth will matter, in fact she won't even be listening.
CaliGuy Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I somewhat agree with this *however* this really only applies if you get to know the girl by way of some type of friendship through mutual friends. And for that situation it's even iffy. Looks matter, if shes not attracted to you physically most girls will LJBF you if you try to make a move on her. At meat market places like bars or clubs, looks are not everything still but you have no chance if shes not attracted to you. None. At a meat market you will *not* win a girl over with charm alone. As soon as shes lays eyes on you shes already decided if she will even talk to you. If she doesn't like what she see, *nothing* that comes out of your mouth will matter, in fact she won't even be listening. Meat market places like bars are never the "ideal" places to meet a significant other. In fact, I honestly think if you're going there to meet someone you've been on the sauce too long. It's fine if you want to have a drink and hang with friends, but it's not the best place to meet people. For that, I would suggest joining a hobby group where you can be in a setting that is outside of drinking and social "one upping one another" that occurs at drinking establishments. That's all about "looking" good and competing with others. Not for dating.
AlektraClementine Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I'm going to tell it like it is here, Mr. Stumpy. I would not date you. Not because of your hands. Because of your obsessive insecurities. THAT is what's unattractive. I mean, HIGHLY unattractive. I'm sure it's no skin off your back and you couldn't care less whether I would or wouldn't date you. But there's some perspective anyway. Free of charge.
OpenGL Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Meat market places like bars are never the "ideal" places to meet a significant other. In fact, I honestly think if you're going there to meet someone you've been on the sauce too long. It's fine if you want to have a drink and hang with friends, but it's not the best place to meet people. For that, I would suggest joining a hobby group where you can be in a setting that is outside of drinking and social "one upping one another" that occurs at drinking establishments. That's all about "looking" good and competing with others. Not for dating. Meat markets can be a very good way to meet people if you're attractive and have game. You can get by decently well with looks but no game but you can't get by with game but no looks. Even with that said, meat markets are the best option for people without a large social network that lets them meet new people all the time. To get a lot of dates, you simply need to meet new people as often as possible. Without the large social network, how would you do this without meat markets? Isn't that why meat markets exist in the first place?
OpenGL Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 BTW, I just want to add I don't recommend the hobby thing if your real intention is to meet girls. Most guy hobbies are sausage fests. Nothing wrong with hobbies (I have lots of them: racing cars, martial arts, etc), but you will not meet girls with them.
bac Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 As for physical stuff, if there is no extreems, it is fine. What is really matter are your ability to have an good erection, and good libido. Teeth are should be nice and even, because a girl should be able to kiss you without any negative feelings. If your teeth and mouth look bad, it is a big turn off.
AlektraClementine Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Meat markets can be a very good way to meet people if you're attractive and have game. You can get by decently well with looks but no game but you can't get by with game but no looks. Even with that said, meat markets are the best option for people without a large social network that lets them meet new people all the time. To get a lot of dates, you simply need to meet new people as often as possible. Without the large social network, how would you do this without meat markets? Isn't that why meat markets exist in the first place? Well this all depends on the person. I'm not at all attracted to the type of guy who would hang out in a "meat market". And I disagree that you "can't get by with game and no looks". That's just simply untrue.
CaliGuy Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I'm going to tell it like it is here, Mr. Stumpy. I would not date you. Not because of your hands. Because of your obsessive insecurities. THAT is what's unattractive. I mean, HIGHLY unattractive. I'm sure it's no skin off your back and you couldn't care less whether I would or wouldn't date you. But there's some perspective anyway. Free of charge. Amen. .......................................................................................
MeadowGlitter Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Well this all depends on the person. I'm not at all attracted to the type of guy who would hang out in a "meat market". And I disagree that you "can't get by with game and no looks". That's just simply untrue. It makes me feel as if he sees me as a piece of meat only.
JamesM Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I know you don't want to hear from guys, but really really read what CaliGuy is saying. I think he is saying what he is saying is because you have started quite a few threads now about what you see as physical weaknesses on your body. So he is trying to point out to you that even if you were one of the best looking guys, it would take much more than that. And even if you lack many of the popular physical attributes as most men do, you may still be more successful than many men viewed as better looking. I am always amazed at how some of the not so handsome guys end up with the beautiful women. I remember once about 24 years ago (yeah I am that old) when I was able to get a date with this gorgeous brown haired brown eyed girl, and this was after she said no to a couple of other guys, that these same guys were amazed that she would say yes to ME of all people. I did have the last laugh. And we connected and had a few dates. Thankfully she saw me for who I was not just how I appeared. It was one of those moments when I realized that I did have something, and it gave me more confidence. But my point is...a woman is not so easy to figure out. Simply getting a list of things women like physically about men is like getting a list of the most important nutrients that will make you muscular. It is a combination of things that do the trick. Even if you have the one thing ranked by every woman, this will not mean that women will find you irresistible. Some of the most successful guys if analyzed will come off looking ugly. Yet when you stick everything together and throw in a healthy level of self-confidence, then you have a winning package. And that brings us to the thing that women like most about men (an opinion undoubtedly coming from a guy who still hasn't figured them out ), it is self-confidence and the ability to make a woman feel happy and have fun. But along with that it is the ability to listen and be a strong shoulder to lean on. Does that mean physical attributes are not necessary? No. But it does mean that every woman has different things they will like based on the whole picture. For instance, if a woman likes you for your self confidence and ability to have fun, then she will begin to like the rest of you. And it goes the other way, too. If a woman thinks you are handsome and cute yet when she gets close to you she senses major insecurities and indecision...or she gets the feeling that you think you are handsome and are arrogant and think you are a gift to women, then in time she will leave. I think every guy here could give a list of things about their physical body that will prevent them from feeling confident around women, but many guys here have also discovered that there are so many other ways to win a woman's heart. Thankfully women are for the most part not so shallow as to only consider physical attributes. You are who you are. I am who I am. I will never be Brad Pitt. Funny thing is....Brad Pitt will never be me either. And while I will never get Angelina (or in my case I wouldn't mind having his ex J Aniston ), I can honestly say that I ended up with a woman who I view as much more beautiful overall. Confidence is the key. Practice and success breed confidence. Don't begin by looking for the woman of your dreams. Begin by practicing how to be a great BF or date, so that when you meet the woman of your dreams you will be ready. And yes, ironically, while you date for fun and practice, one of those dates may be "the One."
AlektraClementine Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 It makes me feel as if he sees me as a piece of meat only. It makes me feel as if he's a douchebag.
Author Mr. Stumpy Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 I know you don't want to hear from guys, but really really read what CaliGuy is saying. I think he is saying what he is saying is because you have started quite a few threads now about what you see as physical weaknesses on your body. So he is trying to point out to you that even if you were one of the best looking guys, it would take much more than that. And even if you lack many of the popular physical attributes as most men do, you may still be more successful than many men viewed as better looking. I am always amazed at how some of the not so handsome guys end up with the beautiful women. I remember once about 24 years ago (yeah I am that old) when I was able to get a date with this gorgeous brown haired brown eyed girl, and this was after she said no to a couple of other guys, that these same guys were amazed that she would say yes to ME of all people. I did have the last laugh. And we connected and had a few dates. Thankfully she saw me for who I was not just how I appeared. It was one of those moments when I realized that I did have something, and it gave me more confidence. But my point is...a woman is not so easy to figure out. Simply getting a list of things women like physically about men is like getting a list of the most important nutrients that will make you muscular. It is a combination of things that do the trick. Even if you have the one thing ranked by every woman, this will not mean that women will find you irresistible. Some of the most successful guys if analyzed will come off looking ugly. Yet when you stick everything together and throw in a healthy level of self-confidence, then you have a winning package. And that brings us to the thing that women like most about men (an opinion undoubtedly coming from a guy who still hasn't figured them out ), it is self-confidence and the ability to make a woman feel happy and have fun. But along with that it is the ability to listen and be a strong shoulder to lean on. Does that mean physical attributes are not necessary? No. But it does mean that every woman has different things they will like based on the whole picture. For instance, if a woman likes you for your self confidence and ability to have fun, then she will begin to like the rest of you. And it goes the other way, too. If a woman thinks you are handsome and cute yet when she gets close to you she senses major insecurities and indecision...or she gets the feeling that you think you are handsome and are arrogant and think you are a gift to women, then in time she will leave. I think every guy here could give a list of things about their physical body that will prevent them from feeling confident around women, but many guys here have also discovered that there are so many other ways to win a woman's heart. Thankfully women are for the most part not so shallow as to only consider physical attributes. You are who you are. I am who I am. I will never be Brad Pitt. Funny thing is....Brad Pitt will never be me either. And while I will never get Angelina (or in my case I wouldn't mind having his ex J Aniston ), I can honestly say that I ended up with a woman who I view as much more beautiful overall. Confidence is the key. Practice and success breed confidence. Don't begin by looking for the woman of your dreams. Begin by practicing how to be a great BF or date, so that when you meet the woman of your dreams you will be ready. And yes, ironically, while you date for fun and practice, one of those dates may be "the One." Nice post. I can definately relate. I guess we have only one option, as CaliGuy said a while ago, just be confident with what ya got! Man, if only it were that easy...
Calendula Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 As a woman, I completely agree with what James is saying. Different physical features appeal to me on different men, and I strongly feel that I am more attracted to a strong, honest personality, intelligence, and self-confidence in a man than to their physical attributes. If someone has these personality qualities, any physical 'flaws' (as dictated by society's conventions) can easily be ignored or adjusted to with time. Ever otice how you stop really 'looking' at your partner after you've been with them for a while - you see your experiences with them, what you know of how they feel and think, and not just their physical appearance. Would you really want a woman who likes you just for your looks anyway? If you really are just curious about how different physical attributes may be attractive to different people, I would suggest you check out some of the human psychology work done on the 'Golden Ratio' of the human face and how our biology and health relates to our overall physical appearance. I saw a really neat documentary on the Science Channel (or somewhere like that) about human attractiveness (can't remember what it was called), and one of the main points they made was that it isn't any single feature that another person finds attractive, but the ratio of those features, how they all fit together. Instinctively, people as animals gravitate towards people whose features balance their own or represent general health and good genetics. What is 'most attractive' to any one person is never the same thing for another person; we are all as different in our opinions as we are in our genetics. Your original post is the type of question that many human behavior researchers spend years analyzing, both biologically and psychologically. As a previous post mentioned, don't worry about your physical attributes as they are something you can't change. I would instead suggest you spent your energy focusing on improving your personality and confidence instead, as this is something you can change. The funny thing is, many people find that when they gain the self-confidence or other personality traits that women are attracted to, they also find that subtle aspects of their overall appearance (stance, how they hold themselves during a conversation, facial expressions and lines) also changes for the better. Thus making them physically more attractive as well.
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