Nahlidge Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Hi, I'm new here, name is Dacosta, 20 years old. Born from Jamaica but raised in Florida. Alright, so let me get down to it. I went to college last year in Rochester, New York Met This Girl name Ashley. As Of Now, We've been together for 5 months. I Love her, I really truly do. I won' be going back to New York Until winter quarter, that'll be the beggining of December. I signed a L.O.A. (Leave of Absence), I'm currently at Community College for the fall, but the thing is, my college runs 16 weeks and Rochester, New York College runs 10 weeks per semester. I might have to drop the two classes that ends in december, most of all of my classes ends in october. I can come back anytime with no need of credits. Anyway's, as of now, I'm in a Long Distance Relationship but I will be seeing her on my birthday, september 27. We got together on May 9th but really been good friends before that. I Met her through her Boyfriend (lets say his name is Jim) who is now her EX, Me and Him are friends. They've been together for a year unttil they broke up. When we got together, there was some issue's that had to be adjusted. For one, Intercultural Relationship. She's white, I'm black. She was raised up North with parents with deep religion views but had 'forced' that knowledge into her, if you get my drift. She didn't want to think that way and it caused some problems/uncomfortable If I can say but we got through with that. I told her "Love doesn't have a color, Its an feeling so, do you love me?" She said "Yes I do" cause if she didn't, I would've let her go and let her be on her way. But Oh Yeah, her ex boyfriend who is my friend is also black but she said she always had the same feeling but never reall 'fully' trusted him. I asked her if she trusts me, she said yeah more than her mother. We got through with that Second. Trust Issue's, Even after all of that ^^ She still had some Trust Issues. Trusting people especially men. She grew up with a bad father (He's dead now) But I told her I wouldn't do things to her like that, I wouldn't want to do things that made her uncomfortable but I wanted her to Trust Me evena little and I told her "I'll wait and be patient until you fully trust me." And we got through with that Issue, so Now she Fully Trust Me and I trust her. Third. The Third Issue is recent. So..Our Fifth Month Anniverssary is coming up soon and I've been hit with a Bomb Shell. I was talking to Jim (Ashley Ex; who is also my friend) and my G/F online at the same time. Now Jim is feeling depressed and whatnot and I wanted to see what was up, he said he wished he had more motivation to take up on new opportunities; he's going back to school in Rochester, New York along with my G/F for the second year and he's sad that he'll be missing his family but that wasn't the whole point. I wanted know what was going on and he wasn't really telling me anything so I was getting frustrated. I wanted to know the 'source'. I was talking to Ashley about it and she said, "I Know" and I asked her whats wrong with him and she said "He's feeling uncertainity about his feelings, Love Life and etc etc etc" In that complete instant, I already knew what was going on but I just wanted to make sure, I wanted JIM to tell me what was going on and stop beating around the bush, I was getting frustrated but at the same time, I felt like I was going to lose something, I was going to lose Ashley. I asked her, "What about his love life?" and She said she didn't want to say or she'll upset me. I told her "I might get upset but we can talk it out, work it out and see what happens, but Don't hold it in, lets be honest." It seems to me that Jim wanted an another opportunity to be with Ashley again, but what I can't understand is he had amounts of time to get back with her, he just didn't take it and he's feeling ashamed of himself cause thats been happening constantly, he's not being able to take chances of the open opportunity that was being given in the past and the present. Anyway, I was awaiting for her to tell me and then she said "I still have a bit of feelings for him but I truly, really, madly in love with you and I don't want to lose you" At that samet time, tears started pouring through webcam and she was crying like a baby. I was shocked and I said "Ok" and then she kept responding with "I love you" and "I don't want to lose you" and how she hated herself with being honest and I'm upset, I told her "I'm glad you're honest, Thank You but I'm not Upset Just a bit bothered" What really frustrated me was the fact that Jim was online as well and we were talking about his problem. I kept asking him where is this all coming from, what is the main source and he just kept making something up to sway from the subject. I wanted him to tell me himself. And I asked Ashley, "Does he still have feelings for you?" and she said "Sometimes. But he wants me to stay with and I really do too, I don't want to lose you" At that point, I don't know, I kind of felt a bit of relief but I was still bothered but I kept saying to myself and telling her that "I Trust You Like you' Trust Me and I Trust That you won't betray my Trust. I Love You" We both said our I Love you's and call it a night; it was just too much and then later on, I got like 8 Text messages saying "I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU". I was like "OH MY GOD!" (lol). I Responded letting her know that she's not going to lose me as long we're honest and we trust each other and we can be able to talk it out, work things out. Alright so after reading all of that, I have some questions because I'm at a standstill here. She's going back to College along with her ex and It's kind of bothering me that I keep thinking Jim is going to try to use it to his advantage because I won't be there in the fall or something might wind up happening and It'll be a secret to both of them and not letting me know anything. Second. Should I stay being with her, I do Love her, I Truly Do but damn its kind of nerve racking and what should I do to stop thinking like this? I Trust Her I do but Not Them. Please Help me, Someone. Please. Most of the time, if you couldn't really tell, I'm a laid back kind of guy. I don't really let things get to me and I'm 'Cool' (from what alot people say) and I always look at the bright side of things but this here, in this situation, I just feel like an dark cloud is forming and its just waiting, just itchy and waiting for rain to come down and you know what they say "Rain is For Lonely People". I really don't want Jiim to do the unecessary but I hate being Lied to and I' might end up fighting Jim if he doesn't confess and remain behind the bush. Being a Track Star and amateur boxer back in middle-highschool has it's benefits.
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