grizzlyvw Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 ok well today my girlfriend of 4 years just broke up with me. We have had our issues because we dont get to see each other that much due to her being really busy with work/school and its been in and out of a long distance relationship.. I am usually the one that has time but she is usually too busy to hang out because she is a girl into horses and she is about to get a job being a trainer.. Anyways, I finally moved close to her (1 week ago) because I am attending a school that is in the same city as her. She hasnt been able to hang out because she is busy with work and being an apprentice. Well after about 5 days of living in the same town and getting settled at my new school and house she finally came over and ended up telling me she wanted to not be a couple anymore because she feels she is being unfair to me by not making time to see me. She told me she still loves me but she wouldnt want to go out as a couple and she really just wants to be friends.. which feels pretty ****ty to me LOL. Anyways I told her I wasnt willing to be just friends. She told me bluntly that she hopes I will reconsider and that maybe in two years or so she might want to get together... I told her that we should try and make it work out because we never even talked about this. She told me things arent getting any better. I have basically taken the position that I should move on and focus on other things in life. I think she might want to have freedom and find another guy. However, we have had soo many good times together and are truly best friends. Its a huge blow to actually be dumped like this right when I actually moved in the same vicinity as her... Should I try and make it work and have a good sit down with her and talk things through?I do believe that she still wants to be friends but I dont know if I can handle that.. I really want her as a girlfriend.. but maybe its just time to move on..
Aurelian Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Do not try to "make it work". Start working on yourself and doing well in school because that is going to make the foundation for the rest of your life. Know how it feels but the best thing is to go no contact and concerntrate on yourself. The pain will diminish day by day but it takes time and Lord knows it will be hard. Post here instead of contacting her because the urge is going to be strong.
Author grizzlyvw Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 Do not try to "make it work". Start working on yourself and doing well in school because that is going to make the foundation for the rest of your life. Know how it feels but the best thing is to go no contact and concerntrate on yourself. The pain will diminish day by day but it takes time and Lord knows it will be hard. Post here instead of contacting her because the urge is going to be strong. im pretty good at just cutting myself off by not communicating verbally/texting/emailing. I have good discipline and wont contact her. However its really hard to face the fact that I wont get to have the good times with her that I would if we were together living 10 minutes away from each other.. I guess I will let her decide if she wants to come back even though I know she is pretty confused with what a relationship is... Its hard to completly cut her off when I think all we need is a good talk. We havent really even talked about what is going wrong besides the fact that I was frustrated that we didnt get to hang out that much.
Broseph Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Hey Grizz, You basically just told my story...basically together 4 years recently apart than bam she says she doesnt really feel right inside herself and wants a change. She wrote how she loves me so much and it hurts her that she doesnt love me the same and it seems so unfair. Oh and she really wants me to be friends and says that maybe at some point she might want to get back together. She is away right now and she will be back to my town in under a month, she has all her stuff at my place which is super gay. Pretty confused as well that we never really talked about this although we had one spat a few months ago that was a close call. So far I have cut contact to absolute mimimum and have not begged, pledded for her to come back. Although after the break up I asked her like ten times 'why are you doing this again', maybe i dont understand the space thing. Bottom line best friend gone and all those good times we coulda had.
adamt Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 It really annoys me how people use the words "I love you" so easily these days. In your case if she really loved you she would be able to make time to fit you in. She would still want to be a couple and more than just friends. You have to ignore that she said she loves you and take in everything else she says and does. Her actions will speak louder than words. leave her alone and dont contact her. if she really does love you then she will miss you and come back. I mean, i loved my ex and i would sacrifice a lot to make sure i have time for her and be able to fit her in my life.
Author grizzlyvw Posted September 4, 2009 Author Posted September 4, 2009 ok I just wanted to post an update. Its only been a day or so since we broke up but I am starting to feel less sad. I am actually more angry than sad now. The one thing that angers me most is that I know people around my girlfriend have influenced her some what. Not completely but enough to make me mad. I think they influenced her decision to break up with me be it right or wrong. I know her current employer/trainer (horse coach) has a great influence on her. my ex has been living with her trainer and her husband over the entire summer so that she is near to the barn where she works.. Her trainer calls her an "assistant" and even calls her her a "daughter" because they have been living with each other for the entire summer and spend tons of time together.. One other thing about my ex-girlfriends trainer/coach is that she is very manipulative. She is a very wealthy as is her husband and she knows how to get what she wants.. I really do believe that she has had talks with my ex and has tried to influence her into spending more time working and less time with me. When my ex dumped me yesterday I asked her "so what did amie (her trainer) say about this?", "What did amie think about u breaking up with me?" after I asked this my ex seemed very hesitant and awkward and she answered "It doesn't matter what she thinks" as if she was trying to blow my question off... This is my main I know this might not make since but I just had to get it off my chest.
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