scipio Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I don't like long posts,..so i'll keep this brief. Break up 5 years ago,...kinda obsessed over the girl for the next 2 yrs or so. Then got fbooked recently out of the blue. Chatted online,..she started talking about the good old days and basically saying she wanted another chance. I'm sorry to say I still kinda have feelings for her,..but i don't wanna be sucked back in.
mr heartbroken Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 ask yourself if it goes wrong will you be ok? i think go for it but you need to think about your mental state first and then only then act on what you your head tells you.......not what your heart says.
Author scipio Posted September 8, 2009 Author Posted September 8, 2009 I don't know what i should do. I love her man,..but damn this is too much. I think she's maybe had a rough time recently and i don't want to be the fall back option.
silic0ntoad Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Then don't be. She may be completely honest. The ball is in your court now- the court most of us here wish it was in! You need to assess this situation- 1) How did it end, and why? 2) Does SHE deserve ME? 3) Am I willing to deal with the heartache again from her leaving again, if she does? Once someone breaks your heart, it's alot easier, and alot more painful, for them to do so. If you love her, and she comes off as genuine, it's your call man.
DustySaltus Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 I don't like long posts,..so i'll keep this brief. Break up 5 years ago,...kinda obsessed over the girl for the next 2 yrs or so. Then got fbooked recently out of the blue. Chatted online,..she started talking about the good old days and basically saying she wanted another chance. I'm sorry to say I still kinda have feelings for her,..but i don't wanna be sucked back in. Same thing happened to me, we got in contact after 8 years. Read my old posts, see how that worked out. I have since deleted facebook (should sue them ) altogether. My thoughts are that anyone I want or should be in contact with already knows how to get me, so why make things more complicated? My old high school girlfriend contacted me after 10 years and wanted to reconnect. Unfortunately it was right after I had gotten out of a 5 year relationship. She was a sweetheart but I wasn't ready for her. I kind of wish she was around now, but there were also things I didn't like about her. Many, many things can occur from this, good and bad. Use Sili's list as a guide and go from there. Good luck.
Author scipio Posted September 8, 2009 Author Posted September 8, 2009 You'd think most people would want to be in my situation,..but let me tell you its not all its cracked up to be. I remember way back I would tell myself if I just had some kind of closure, if I knew her feelings I would never look back. Apparently it doesn't work that way. I just feel like I've got two wrong choices. Take a chance or play it safe. How do you protect your feelings by denying your feelings?
soheartbroken Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Would you fell worse if she broke up with you again, or worse if you never took the chance? So, you seriously didn't get over her in 5 years? What happened do you think? Please tell me cause I don't want to have feelings for my ex in five years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LisaUk Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 Think you need to asses why you broke up in the first place. Five years is a long time to be apart for her to ask for a second chance. Has she maybe realised her mistake and has she grown up in that time? If she is willing now to see her part in the demise of your previous relationship than that is a different senerio? No? Like SHB said, would you always wonder? Sometimes it is necessary to take some risk in life or miss out all together. We can never fully protect our heart when we love someone, to do so is not to truely love, every relationship involves risk, but without it you don't get to experience love.
Surfer Girl Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 5 years is a long time to be seperated and not have contact..... You may find what you had back then is the memories of what the relationship was.... but in 5 years you may have discovered differences in how you have changed and grown. I remember someone coming back to me after a long period of time and the memories I had invisioned and longed for.... was not the same when I met up with that person..... I saw him for who he was and realized my feelings were just about memories not reality..... On the other hand.... look at Lupas thread he met up with his longtime girlfriend and they still had the spark..... I can understand your fear as it takes time to get over someone... you get comfertable with where your at... and don't want to rehash the pain you once encountered.... And then sometimes the exe's will come out of the blue when they have recently gone thru a heartbreak or tradgedy that reverts back to someone they were with....and want to reach out.... to the comfort zone...
Author scipio Posted September 9, 2009 Author Posted September 9, 2009 I'm not sure why I never really got over her. But I think i need to move on as painful as that will be.
mickleb Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 I took 5 years to get over my first love.It was actually meeting with him and catching up that was instrumental in me doing so. We didn't get back together (it wasn't on the cards, we just met up due to a friend we had in common) and don't have any contact now. It was fine, though. I realised he had loved me (I was never really sure when he went) and he still had a lot of respect for me. He sent me a copy of his favourite book and, after reading it, it became mine(!) I went to a gig of his, it wasn't that great..! We lost contact after that but I healed very soon afterwards. I, personally, think you've got nothing to lose if you still love her after 5 years. You've got by without her, so you know you can do that. I think it's very likely you'll get the closure you need, if nothing more. You may find that you're not that into her once you've caught up. My meet-up helped me to take him down from the pedestal I would suggest to live with the regret of not, at least, meeting her could be a lot worse. Good luck to you, my friend. x
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